another mates dilema

**Turkish** · 05-07-2010, 08:23 AM

he needs some advice on this one. He seems to have no problem pulling women on the face of it, at one point he had three on the go at once and were all fairly attractive considering he looks like an older scruffier version of Augustus Gloop from Charlie and the Chocolate factory. His problem is once they get beyond the fat, mildly amusing facade and get down to business of ****ging he only ever gets one shot at it as they always dump him straight after the first time. He says he is amazing in bed so it cant be down to his ability in the sack and women find him funny and charming, he says. Where do you think he is going wrong?

**Thedelldays** · 05-07-2010, 08:32 AM

tell stu to sort his own problems out

**Turkish** · 05-07-2010, 08:36 AM

Originally Posted by Thedelldays

tell stu to sort his own problems out

Do you think its because he rests his gut on their bum when doing it from behind? That would put you off surely?

**Thedelldays** · 05-07-2010, 08:37 AM

Originally Posted by Turkish

Do you think its because he rests his gut on their bum when doing it from behind? That would put you off surely?

I think what does it, is when SHE has to throw flour over him to find the soggy bit to grab..

**OldNick** · 05-07-2010, 08:42 AM

I seems he is not well endowed but luckily he has 17stone to ram it home with. He likes one night stands .......although he has never experienced a 2nd night to know if he likes those as well

**Turkish** · 05-07-2010, 08:45 AM

Originally Posted by OldNick

I think he is not well endowed but luckily it seems he has 17stone to ram it home with

Be like smashing a two inch nail in with a sledgehammer.

**Dave Benson Phillips** · 05-07-2010, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by OldNick

I seems he is not well endowed but luckily he has 17stone to ram it home with. He likes one night stands .......although he has never experienced a 2nd night to know if he likes those as well

My last 'girlfriend' ( the 24 hour relationship ) stayed with me from 5pm on Friday, leaving shortly before Top Gear last night. So it was 2 nights actually.

**Turkish** · 05-07-2010, 08:51 AM

Originally Posted by Dave Benson Phillips

My last 'girlfriend' ( the 24 hour relationship ) stayed with me from 5pm on Friday, leaving shortly before Top Gear last night. So it was 2 nights actually.

What i dont understand is, if you were at these parties and smashing the granny out of her all weekend, why were you on facebook updating your status and posting on here saturday night? Oh BTW, what time did the dumping happen? Before she left or after?

**Dave Benson Phillips** · 05-07-2010, 08:55 AM

Originally Posted by Turkish

What i dont understand is, if you were at these parties and smashing the granny out of her all weekend, why were you on facebook updating your status and posting on here saturday night? Oh BTW, what time did the dumping happen? Before she left or after?

I have an app for that. The 'what an introduction' or whatever it is, was being thrown into a party of about 100 people, most of them her family and being paraded round and introduced to every single one of them.

The dumping was shortly before 8pm last night.

It's ok though, she was on the phone to me this morning telling me what a terrible mistake she had made and she wanted me etc etc...

You should have seen this party, it was immense... had their own bar in the back garden and EVERYTHING! Bet the neighbours fookin loved it...

**Turkish** · 05-07-2010, 09:02 AM

Originally Posted by Dave Benson Phillips

I have an app for that. The 'what an introduction' or whatever it is, was being thrown into a party of about 100 people, most of them her family and being paraded round and introduced to every single one of them.

The dumping was shortly before 8pm last night.

It's ok though, she was on the phone to me this morning telling me what a terrible mistake she had made and she wanted me etc etc...

You should have seen this party, it was immense... had their own bar in the back garden and EVERYTHING! Bet the neighbours fookin loved it...

Not that immese if you spent the whole night on TSF and facebook???

Sounds like a fruitcake, best of without a bird who one minute claims to love you the next is dumping you. If your happy with that though.....

**Dave Benson Phillips** · 05-07-2010, 09:11 AM

Originally Posted by Turkish

Not that immese if you spent the whole night on TSF and facebook???

Sounds like a fruitcake, best of without a bird who one minute claims to love you the next is dumping you. If your happy with that though.....

It was immense in the fact it was the most crazy party I have ever seen in a housing estate, at least 100 people, everyone absolutely steaming, music smashing out in the garden and a full size cash bar at the back. I was sober and had lots of " Where the f*ck has xxxxx gone, oh ****, I am left stood on my own looking like a c*nt, quick get the phone out and pretend to be busy " moments.

**Turkish** · 05-07-2010, 09:16 AM

Originally Posted by Dave Benson Phillips

It was immense in the fact it was the most crazy party I have ever seen in a housing estate, at least 100 people, everyone absolutely steaming, music smashing out in the garden and a full size cash bar at the back. I was sober and had lots of " Where the f*ck has xxxxx gone, oh ****, I am left stood on my own looking like a c*nt, quick get the phone out and pretend to be busy " moments.

By the sound of it, she was probably off getting her slot filled with love glue by some proper chap rather than the boring **** she was with who spent all night on his phone.

**ericofarabia** · 05-07-2010, 09:43 AM

Originally Posted by Dave Benson Phillips

It was immense in the fact it was the most crazy party I have ever seen in a housing estate, at least 100 people, everyone absolutely steaming, music smashing out in the garden and a full size cash bar at the back. I was sober and had lots of " Where the f*ck has xxxxx gone, oh ****, I am left stood on my own looking like a c*nt, quick get the phone out and pretend to be busy " moments.

LOL at Stuey No Mates.

**Smirking_Saint** · 05-07-2010, 09:46 AM

You went to a house party ? And had to buy drinks from the bar ??

Doesn't sound that great.

**Turkish** · 05-07-2010, 09:49 AM

Originally Posted by Smirking_Saint

You went to a house party ? And had to buy drinks from the bar ??

Doesn't sound that great.

It sounds to me like the only time his 'girlfriend' was with him was when she need a drink, after he'd splashed the cash she f***** off to her other mates and left Stu to stand on his own like a lemon returning when her class was empty. Also Stu says he was sober, she he obviously drove. So he picked her up, droppeed her off and bought her drinks all night and she hardly spoke to him. The truth is starting to reveal itself.

**Dave Benson Phillips** · 05-07-2010, 09:54 AM

Originally Posted by Turkish

It sounds to me like the only time his 'girlfriend' was with him was when she need a drink, after he'd splashed the cash she f***** off to her other mates and left Stu to stand on his own like a lemon returning when her class was empty. Also Stu says he was sober, she he obviously drove. So he picked her up, droppeed her off and bought her drinks all night and she hardly spoke to him. The truth is starting to reveal itself.

Didn't spend a penny, she bought/got me all the drinks ( to be honest I am not even sure if she did have to pay, I just know there was a proper bar at the back ) . And no, there was very few moments with me left as a lemon, she was too busy showing her hunk of a boyfriend off too all her family.

**Smirking_Saint** · 05-07-2010, 09:58 AM

Originally Posted by Dave Benson Phillips

Didn't spend a penny, she bought/got me all the drinks ( to be honest I am not even sure if she did have to pay, I just know there was a proper bar at the back ) . And no, there was very few moments with me left as a lemon, she was too busy showing her hunk of a boyfriend off too all her family.

Did you get his name ?

**Turkish** · 05-07-2010, 10:04 AM

Originally Posted by Dave Benson Phillips

Didn't spend a penny, she bought/got me all the drinks ( to be honest I am not even sure if she did have to pay, I just know there was a proper bar at the back ) . And no, there was very few moments with me left as a lemon, she was too busy showing her chunk of a boyfriend off too all her family.

I've corrected it for you.