Green shoots?

He's been on BBC News all morning. Sorry to burst your bubble.

purely on image/credibility alone. what an awful choice for shadow chancellor

purely on image/credibility alone. what an awful choice for shadow chancellor

Still better than milliband as pm. The thought of that makes me shudder. Even many in his own party don't want him.

Still better than milliband as pm. The thought of that makes me shudder. Even many in his own party don't want him.

A bit like the Tories and their leader then

A bit like the Tories and their leader then

maybe

He's been on BBC News all morning. Sorry to burst your bubble.

They are keeping him away from the working voter then

A bit like the Tories and their leader then

Do you think ed would be an excellent pm? Do you look at him and think of him as prime ministerial?

Do you think ed would be an excellent pm? Do you look at him and think of him as prime ministerial?

What a shame you didn't catch his speech this morning. He was making the point that politicians should be judged on what they say and not on what they look like. Sadly it's an indictment of society that it judges on appearances alone.

But he's still better looking than old Condom chops.

was that a yes or no on milliband?

was that a yes or no on milliband?

Is that question for me? He'd make a darned sight better PM than the present incumbent. He's not arrogant for a start and, whilst not experiencing life as most of us know it, he's far more in touch with the lifeblood of this country - the 'average' man.

What a shame you didn't catch his speech this morning. He was making the point that politicians should be judged on what they say and not on what they look like. Sadly it's an indictment of society that it judges on appearances alone.

 

But he's still better looking than old Condom chops.

 

You dodged my question then. It's not just how he looks, to be prime minister you have to have something about you that make you seem like a leader. He doesn't have that at all.

You dodged my question then. It's not just how he looks, to be prime minister you have to have something about you that make you seem like a leader. He doesn't have that at all.

What does that even mean? All very vague. The key to be being a good leader is seeming like one?

I'd rather have Pm who knows about policy , stands up to power and is a good negotiator.

It's people like you who ensure politics is all spin and no substance

What does that even mean? All very vague. The key to be being a good leader is seeming like one?

 

I'd rather have Pm who knows about policy , stands up to power and is a good negotiator.

 

It's people like you who ensure politics is all spin and no substance

It's not the key but it's a big part of modern politics. It's one of the reasons why Obama has been so successful in terms of winning elections and one big reason why ed is so unpopular. On top of having good policies, a leader needs to persuade the public and people about their decisions. I can't imagine ed ever managing something like that and to be honest he isn't someone I would want to see representing Britain on the world stage.

It's not the key but it's a big part of modern politics. It's one of the reasons why Obama has been so successful in terms of winning elections and one big reason why ed is so unpopular. On top of having good policies, a leader needs to persuade the public and people about their decisions. I can't imagine ed ever managing something like that and to be honest he isn't someone I would want to see representing Britain on the world stage.

I do actually agree that the public will probably turn against Ed if he becomes PM, just as they did with Major and Brown. However, if the public wasn't so shallow then I think he'd be very good for the country.

Cameron, on the other hand, is just a glorified PR man with no real esteem in world affairs or even among colleagues

I do actually agree that the public will probably turn against Ed if he becomes PM, just as they did with Major and Brown. However, if the public wasn't so shallow then I think he'd be very good for the country.

 

Cameron, on the other hand, is just a glorified PR man with no real esteem in world affairs or even among colleagues

Major, Brown and milliband. All rubbish choices for pm. I agree with that even if I disagree with the rest of your post.

But you can't question democracy surely? He was selected by literally hundreds of trade union members.

But you can't question democracy surely? He was selected by literally hundreds of trade union members.

Remind me, who selected Cameron? Not wealthy businessmen and Russian oligarchs, surely?

Got that wrong

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-28481996

"

Since 2008, the population has grown by more than 2.5 million and the number of people in work has gone up by 1.1 million. That means that while GDP has returned to its pre-crisis level, GDP per head and GDP per worker are still well below that level, which means that productivity is also down.

Lower productivity is reflected in a fall of about 9% in average earnings since 2008, adjusted for inflation"

"The income of the median household (that's the household for which half of households have a higher income and half have a lower one) has fallen by about £20 per week, after adjusting for inflation, since 2008.

The household at the 90th percentile (that's the one for which only 10% of households have a higher income) has seen its income fall by about £60 a week. At the other end of the spectrum, the household at the 10th percentile has seen a £2 per week increase"

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/5f5ba3ca-132e-11e4-8244-00144feabdc0.html#axzz38OtBjeuU

 

Mods - grateful if you could change the thread title to "Green leaves on strong branches" when you get a spare moment please

Not by a long way yet Trousers. After 6.5 years we have finally reached the same GDP level as 2008 BUT in the meantime the population has grown so GDP per capita is still down by 5%.

Not by a long way yet Trousers. After 6.5 years we have finally reached the same GDP level as 2008 BUT in the meantime the population has grown so GDP per capita is still down by 5%.

I doubt we shall ever recover to those levels which were based on unsustainable borrowing. It was never real growth.

UK Homeowners start to panic sell in the face of house price uncertainty.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/constructionandproperty/11015301/UK-homeowners-start-to-panic-sell-in-the-face-of-house-price-uncertainty.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2725834/Britain-s-economy-grew-faster-previously-thought-new-figures-3-2-boom-past-year.html

Excellent, since I work for the government I look forward to an above inflation pay rise after effective pay cuts for years.

The other day Peter Hain actually had the temerity to claim that the deficit was purely down to the banking crisis and had nothing to do with Labour's spending or borrowing, even though Labour spent years raising public expenditure way beyond the country's overall economic growth and they were being warned by the OECD about the deficit long before the banking crisis kicked in (with Gordon Brown being among the biggest advocates of deregulating the banks, along with numerous Tories).

Everyone was at it:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/6975536.stm

"A Conservative government would match Labour's projected public spending totals for the next three years, shadow chancellor George Osborne has said.He pledged two years of 2% increases. The final year total would be reviewed."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-29702795

Government borrowing rose to £11.8bn in September, an increase of £1.6bn compared with a year earlier, according to the Office for National Statistics.

So Georgie Porgie has everything under control in his drive to reduce the deficit ?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-29702795

 

Government borrowing rose to £11.8bn in September, an increase of £1.6bn compared with a year earlier, according to the Office for National Statistics.

 

So Georgie Porgie has everything under control in his drive to reduce the deficit ?

Just think how bad it would have been if they hadn't taken the money-saving measures.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-29702795

 

Government borrowing rose to £11.8bn in September, an increase of £1.6bn compared with a year earlier, according to the Office for National Statistics.

 

So Georgie Porgie has everything under control in his drive to reduce the deficit ?

So are you saying that the savings (aka "cuts") should have been more expansive than they have been? As WG alluded to, the first phase of deficit reduction is to apply the brakes on current spending.

Just think how bad it would have been if they hadn't taken the money-saving measures.

So are you saying that the savings (aka "cuts") should have been more expansive than they have been? As WG alluded to, the first phase of deficit reduction is to apply the brakes on current spending.

 

Having trouble on the ol' money saving part.

Borrowed more than Labour did in thirteen years, in less than five years, for less services?

Bang up job.

Borrowed more than Labour did in thirteen years

Have you ever tried repairing a sinking ship in the middle of a storm? It quite often takes on much more water than you can pump out before you've plugged all the holes....

for less services

Don't you mean "for more or less the same level of services without the added bureaucracy costs"?

Have you ever tried repairing a sinking ship in the middle of a storm? It quite often takes on much more water than you can pump out before you've plugged all the holes....

 

Don't you mean "for more or less the same level of services without the added bureaucracy costs"?

Think anyone that has had their benefits taken from them for not being disabled enough would disagree with your last statement, if they haven't committed suicide through stress or whatever.

Its interesting why wages aren't rising at least level with inflation. Everybody from the BoE, CBI, OECD and Treasury seem confounded by it given record employment levels and low unemployment.

Its interesting why wages aren't rising at least level with inflation. Everybody from the BoE, CBI, OECD and Treasury seem confounded by it given record employment levels and low unemployment.

Low wage growth, zero hours contracts and substantial numbers of self employed either earning a pittance it with very good accountants are probably the reasons.

Low wage growth, zero hours contracts and substantial numbers of self employed either earning a pittance it with very good accountants are probably the reasons.

But my point was that under similar circumstances in the past wages have risen as labour supply has tightened. Not this time.

Have you ever tried repairing a sinking ship in the middle of a storm? It quite often takes on much more water than you can pump out before you've plugged all the holes....

You won't believe this, but oddly enough, I have, trousers. If you're living comfortably, then I'll begin...

We were sailing on board the SS Allegory at time we noticed that we had sprung a leak.

Some of the steerage passengers had reported getting their feet wet, although others on higher decks said that they hadn't noticed anything - other than a increased smell coming up from steerage.

A number of us passengers came forward with plans as to how the hull could be fixed. Given my superior breeding and education, I stepped boldly forward and told everyone not to worry, and promised that if I was given the task of fixing the SS Allegory, I would mend the holes in the hull as quickly as possible so that we could resume cruising the oceans of the world with a happy complement of less smelly passengers.

I was careful to explain to anyone that would listen that the repair job would take a long time, and that with the storm still raging all around us, it would an be arduous journey.

I stressed that these holes in the hull didn't happen by accident, but instead had been drilled in the bottom of the boat on purpose, by risk-takers looking for an easier way to catch fish.

I also reminded the other passengers that the evil captain of the boat at the time had simply watched these risk-takers without trying to stop them.

So we took a vote - that in years to come would become known as the Great Boat-Fixing Election. Whilst others also wanted the job, those other candidates either had no experience of captaining a boat, or were related to that mad Cap'n Gordon who turned a "blind eye" to all those holes being drilled!

So with a mandate secured, and the responsibility well and truly shifted from those that actually drilled the holes to those that let them be drilled, I took charge.

Surveying the scene, I recognised that there were a couple of strategies that could be employed to secure the buoyancy of the vessel.

1) I could mend the holes in the hull so that the boat could better support the weight of the people inside, or

2) I could lighten the load in the boat.

Option 1) didn't sound very palatable at all. You see, if we were really serious about actually wanting to mend the holes in the hull and pump out all of the water, then it would cause decades of wet feet for everyone - even those that voted for me! That wasn't going to happen. So option 2) it was. I'd lighten the 'load'.

So, who to jettison?

I looked around the boat and realised that there was a strange, three-way correlation. It appeared that those that weighed the most, also had the least wealth and didn't vote for me in the Great Boat-Fixing Election.

Whilst it was clear that we were all in the boat together, it was also clear that some of us were more in the boat together than others.

So we threw the less wealthy and less able into the sea with a big-hearted, big-societal promise that we'd come back for them once we'd fixed the leaks.

I told the wealthy people left on board that they had to pull their weight too. I set them the task of starting to bail out the water. Obviously, I wouldn't ask them to do this themselves, that wouldn't have been at all fitting. No, I asked them to set their servants the task of bailing out the boat. The more servants they could employ, the more water they could remove from the boat. I also pointed out that they could probably pay their servants less now, as, to be honest, there weren't many other jobs on offer.

So at this point, we'd managed to chuck the poorer and less able individuals into the sea, but we weren't actually any closer to mending the holes in the hull. However, the knowledge that others had been thrown out of the boat, helped those wealthier passengers in the boat to somehow feel relatively more secure, relatively more wealthy, less likely to get their feet wet, and most importantly - more likely to vote for me in the next Great Boat-Fixing Election.

With the water volume increasing, but with the water level lowered by the Archimedean ejection of the poor and less able, I realised that I could even start to drill more holes in the hull to allow the wealthy to continue to fish through the bottom of the hull.

Amazingly, I'd been captain for about 4 years by this time, and people still believed that I cared about the water level despite the fact that it continued to rise.

Lol.

Seriously, I'll run that by you again. I drilled more holes in the bottom of that boat, and yet managed to convince people that the level of the water was important to me.

You couldn't make it up. I don't know how I sleep at night. (rhet.)

Getting people to believe that I cared about the the water deficit was an important piece of propaganda for me to spread, because not everyone left in the boat felt completely comfortable about seeing their fellow humans bobbing up and down in the open sea.

For those still inside the boat that had a conscience, it was important to give them a flag to wave; an explanation that they could trot out, and so I made them repeat time and time again that we must reduce the water deficit (the rate at which the boat was still filling with water) so that we can someday get back to "the way things were".

And it worked, those wealthy people still in the boat wave that flag today, telling everyone who will listen that despite the fact that we've thrown some of our fellow travellers out of the boat, and despite the fact that the water level is still rising, and despite the fact that I've drilled more holes in the bottom of the boat, and despite the fact that I've committed to drilling even more holes in the bottom of the boat if I win the next Great Boat-Fixing Election, that we're only doing this to make the boat better for everyone.

The moral of this story? Well, it's two-fold I guess.

Firstly, don't trust a word I say - these are ideological holes, not fiscal ones.

Secondly, if you're in the boat sitting comfortably with dry feet whilst staring at people in trouble in the ocean, and you don't feel compelled to throw them a life vest, then you're a ****.

Toke's a ****.

But my point was that under similar circumstances in the past wages have risen as labour supply has tightened. Not this time.

Anyone who has actually been unemployed and looking for work recently - as I was - will already understand that a almost unnoticed, but nevertheless profound, shift has occurred in the UK job market. For instance if you fancied working for one of the big supermarket chains (companies that are still hiring) then good luck finding the traditional five day/40 hour a week job many of us grew up with because these positions just aren't on offer anymore. Indeed you'd be lucky to find a job offering much more than 20 hours a week. It seems a broadly similiar situation is becoming increasing common in other industries too. This part-time problem is compounded by the even more difficult 'zero hour' phenomenon - a scandalous abuse of working people that really should be prohibited in my view.

So it's really no surprise then that PAYE/NI income streams to the treasury are failing to recover as predicted while the official unemployment rate continues to fall - there must be vast numbers of people out there now who may not be technically unemployed, but they are sure as hell under-employed, and as a direct result not paying much (or any) income tax or NI anymore. This seismic shift in the labour market may well have serious long term consequences for both our public finances and the level of poverty the working people in this country experience.

You won't believe this, but oddly enough, I have, trousers. If you're living comfortably, then I'll begin...

 

We were sailing on board the SS Allegory at time we noticed that we had sprung a leak.

 

Some of the steerage passengers had reported getting their feet wet, although others on higher decks said that they hadn't noticed anything - other than a increased smell coming up from steerage.

 

A number of us passengers came forward with plans as to how the hull could be fixed. Given my superior breeding and education, I stepped boldly forward and told everyone not to worry, and promised that if I was given the task of fixing the SS Allegory, I would mend the holes in the hull as quickly as possible so that we could resume cruising the oceans of the world with a happy complement of less smelly passengers.

 

I was careful to explain to anyone that would listen that the repair job would take a long time, and that with the storm still raging all around us, it would an be arduous journey.

 

I stressed that these holes in the hull didn't happen by accident, but instead had been drilled in the bottom of the boat on purpose, by risk-takers looking for an easier way to catch fish.

 

I also reminded the other passengers that the evil captain of the boat at the time had simply watched these risk-takers without trying to stop them.

 

So we took a vote - that in years to come would become known as the Great Boat-Fixing Election. Whilst others also wanted the job, those other candidates either had no experience of captaining a boat, or were related to that mad Cap'n Gordon who turned a "blind eye" to all those holes being drilled!

 

So with a mandate secured, and the responsibility well and truly shifted from those that actually drilled the holes to those that let them be drilled, I took charge.

 

Surveying the scene, I recognised that there were a couple of strategies that could be employed to secure the buoyancy of the vessel.

 

1) I could mend the holes in the hull so that the boat could better support the weight of the people inside, or

2) I could lighten the load in the boat.

 

Option 1) didn't sound very palatable at all. You see, if we were really serious about actually wanting to mend the holes in the hull and pump out all of the water, then it would cause decades of wet feet for everyone - even those that voted for me! That wasn't going to happen. So option 2) it was. I'd lighten the 'load'.

 

So, who to jettison?

 

I looked around the boat and realised that there was a strange, three-way correlation. It appeared that those that weighed the most, also had the least wealth and didn't vote for me in the Great Boat-Fixing Election.

 

Whilst it was clear that we were all in the boat together, it was also clear that some of us were more in the boat together than others.

 

So we threw the less wealthy and less able into the sea with a big-hearted, big-societal promise that we'd come back for them once we'd fixed the leaks.

 

I told the wealthy people left on board that they had to pull their weight too. I set them the task of starting to bail out the water. Obviously, I wouldn't ask them to do this themselves, that wouldn't have been at all fitting. No, I asked them to set their servants the task of bailing out the boat. The more servants they could employ, the more water they could remove from the boat. I also pointed out that they could probably pay their servants less now, as, to be honest, there weren't many other jobs on offer.

 

So at this point, we'd managed to chuck the poorer and less able individuals into the sea, but we weren't actually any closer to mending the holes in the hull. However, the knowledge that others had been thrown out of the boat, helped those wealthier passengers in the boat to somehow feel relatively more secure, relatively more wealthy, less likely to get their feet wet, and most importantly - more likely to vote for me in the next Great Boat-Fixing Election.

 

With the water volume increasing, but with the water level lowered by the Archimedean ejection of the poor and less able, I realised that I could even start to drill more holes in the hull to allow the wealthy to continue to fish through the bottom of the hull.

 

Amazingly, I'd been captain for about 4 years by this time, and people still believed that I cared about the water level despite the fact that it continued to rise.

 

Lol.

 

Seriously, I'll run that by you again. I drilled more holes in the bottom of that boat, and yet managed to convince people that the level of the water was important to me.

 

You couldn't make it up. I don't know how I sleep at night. (rhet.)

 

Getting people to believe that I cared about the the water deficit was an important piece of propaganda for me to spread, because not everyone left in the boat felt completely comfortable about seeing their fellow humans bobbing up and down in the open sea.

 

For those still inside the boat that had a conscience, it was important to give them a flag to wave; an explanation that they could trot out, and so I made them repeat time and time again that we must reduce the water deficit (the rate at which the boat was still filling with water) so that we can someday get back to "the way things were".

 

And it worked, those wealthy people still in the boat wave that flag today, telling everyone who will listen that despite the fact that we've thrown some of our fellow travellers out of the boat, and despite the fact that the water level is still rising, and despite the fact that I've drilled more holes in the bottom of the boat, and despite the fact that I've committed to drilling even more holes in the bottom of the boat if I win the next Great Boat-Fixing Election, that we're only doing this to make the boat better for everyone.

 

The moral of this story? Well, it's two-fold I guess.

 

Firstly, don't trust a word I say - these are ideological holes, not fiscal ones.

 

Secondly, if you're in the boat sitting comfortably with dry feet whilst staring at people in trouble in the ocean, and you don't feel compelled to throw them a life vest, then you're a ****.

 

Toke's a ****.

*applause*

Secondly, if you're in the boat sitting comfortably with dry feet whilst staring at people in trouble in the ocean, and you don't feel compelled to throw them a life vest, then you're a ****.

 

Amen

You won't believe this, but oddly enough, I have, trousers. If you're living comfortably, then I'll begin...

 

We were sailing on board the SS Allegory at time we noticed that we had sprung a leak.

 

Some of the steerage passengers had reported getting their feet wet, although others on higher decks said that they hadn't noticed anything - other than a increased smell coming up from steerage.

 

A number of us passengers came forward with plans as to how the hull could be fixed. Given my superior breeding and education, I stepped boldly forward and told everyone not to worry, and promised that if I was given the task of fixing the SS Allegory, I would mend the holes in the hull as quickly as possible so that we could resume cruising the oceans of the world with a happy complement of less smelly passengers.

 

I was careful to explain to anyone that would listen that the repair job would take a long time, and that with the storm still raging all around us, it would an be arduous journey.

 

I stressed that these holes in the hull didn't happen by accident, but instead had been drilled in the bottom of the boat on purpose, by risk-takers looking for an easier way to catch fish.

 

I also reminded the other passengers that the evil captain of the boat at the time had simply watched these risk-takers without trying to stop them.

 

So we took a vote - that in years to come would become known as the Great Boat-Fixing Election. Whilst others also wanted the job, those other candidates either had no experience of captaining a boat, or were related to that mad Cap'n Gordon who turned a "blind eye" to all those holes being drilled!

 

So with a mandate secured, and the responsibility well and truly shifted from those that actually drilled the holes to those that let them be drilled, I took charge.

 

Surveying the scene, I recognised that there were a couple of strategies that could be employed to secure the buoyancy of the vessel.

 

1) I could mend the holes in the hull so that the boat could better support the weight of the people inside, or

2) I could lighten the load in the boat.

 

Option 1) didn't sound very palatable at all. You see, if we were really serious about actually wanting to mend the holes in the hull and pump out all of the water, then it would cause decades of wet feet for everyone - even those that voted for me! That wasn't going to happen. So option 2) it was. I'd lighten the 'load'.

 

So, who to jettison?

 

I looked around the boat and realised that there was a strange, three-way correlation. It appeared that those that weighed the most, also had the least wealth and didn't vote for me in the Great Boat-Fixing Election.

 

Whilst it was clear that we were all in the boat together, it was also clear that some of us were more in the boat together than others.

 

So we threw the less wealthy and less able into the sea with a big-hearted, big-societal promise that we'd come back for them once we'd fixed the leaks.

 

I told the wealthy people left on board that they had to pull their weight too. I set them the task of starting to bail out the water. Obviously, I wouldn't ask them to do this themselves, that wouldn't have been at all fitting. No, I asked them to set their servants the task of bailing out the boat. The more servants they could employ, the more water they could remove from the boat. I also pointed out that they could probably pay their servants less now, as, to be honest, there weren't many other jobs on offer.

 

So at this point, we'd managed to chuck the poorer and less able individuals into the sea, but we weren't actually any closer to mending the holes in the hull. However, the knowledge that others had been thrown out of the boat, helped those wealthier passengers in the boat to somehow feel relatively more secure, relatively more wealthy, less likely to get their feet wet, and most importantly - more likely to vote for me in the next Great Boat-Fixing Election.

 

With the water volume increasing, but with the water level lowered by the Archimedean ejection of the poor and less able, I realised that I could even start to drill more holes in the hull to allow the wealthy to continue to fish through the bottom of the hull.

 

Amazingly, I'd been captain for about 4 years by this time, and people still believed that I cared about the water level despite the fact that it continued to rise.

 

Lol.

 

Seriously, I'll run that by you again. I drilled more holes in the bottom of that boat, and yet managed to convince people that the level of the water was important to me.

 

You couldn't make it up. I don't know how I sleep at night. (rhet.)

 

Getting people to believe that I cared about the the water deficit was an important piece of propaganda for me to spread, because not everyone left in the boat felt completely comfortable about seeing their fellow humans bobbing up and down in the open sea.

 

For those still inside the boat that had a conscience, it was important to give them a flag to wave; an explanation that they could trot out, and so I made them repeat time and time again that we must reduce the water deficit (the rate at which the boat was still filling with water) so that we can someday get back to "the way things were".

 

And it worked, those wealthy people still in the boat wave that flag today, telling everyone who will listen that despite the fact that we've thrown some of our fellow travellers out of the boat, and despite the fact that the water level is still rising, and despite the fact that I've drilled more holes in the bottom of the boat, and despite the fact that I've committed to drilling even more holes in the bottom of the boat if I win the next Great Boat-Fixing Election, that we're only doing this to make the boat better for everyone.

 

The moral of this story? Well, it's two-fold I guess.

 

Firstly, don't trust a word I say - these are ideological holes, not fiscal ones.

 

Secondly, if you're in the boat sitting comfortably with dry feet whilst staring at people in trouble in the ocean, and you don't feel compelled to throw them a life vest, then you're a ****.

 

Toke's a ****.

Genius.

You won't believe this, but oddly enough, I have, trousers. If you're living comfortably, then I'll begin...

 

We were sailing on board the SS Allegory at time we noticed that we had sprung a leak.

 

Some of the steerage passengers had reported getting their feet wet, although others on higher decks said that they hadn't noticed anything - other than a increased smell coming up from steerage.

 

A number of us passengers came forward with plans as to how the hull could be fixed. Given my superior breeding and education, I stepped boldly forward and told everyone not to worry, and promised that if I was given the task of fixing the SS Allegory, I would mend the holes in the hull as quickly as possible so that we could resume cruising the oceans of the world with a happy complement of less smelly passengers.

 

I was careful to explain to anyone that would listen that the repair job would take a long time, and that with the storm still raging all around us, it would an be arduous journey.

 

I stressed that these holes in the hull didn't happen by accident, but instead had been drilled in the bottom of the boat on purpose, by risk-takers looking for an easier way to catch fish.

 

I also reminded the other passengers that the evil captain of the boat at the time had simply watched these risk-takers without trying to stop them.

 

So we took a vote - that in years to come would become known as the Great Boat-Fixing Election. Whilst others also wanted the job, those other candidates either had no experience of captaining a boat, or were related to that mad Cap'n Gordon who turned a "blind eye" to all those holes being drilled!

 

So with a mandate secured, and the responsibility well and truly shifted from those that actually drilled the holes to those that let them be drilled, I took charge.

 

Surveying the scene, I recognised that there were a couple of strategies that could be employed to secure the buoyancy of the vessel.

 

1) I could mend the holes in the hull so that the boat could better support the weight of the people inside, or

2) I could lighten the load in the boat.

 

Option 1) didn't sound very palatable at all. You see, if we were really serious about actually wanting to mend the holes in the hull and pump out all of the water, then it would cause decades of wet feet for everyone - even those that voted for me! That wasn't going to happen. So option 2) it was. I'd lighten the 'load'.

 

So, who to jettison?

 

I looked around the boat and realised that there was a strange, three-way correlation. It appeared that those that weighed the most, also had the least wealth and didn't vote for me in the Great Boat-Fixing Election.

 

Whilst it was clear that we were all in the boat together, it was also clear that some of us were more in the boat together than others.

 

So we threw the less wealthy and less able into the sea with a big-hearted, big-societal promise that we'd come back for them once we'd fixed the leaks.

 

I told the wealthy people left on board that they had to pull their weight too. I set them the task of starting to bail out the water. Obviously, I wouldn't ask them to do this themselves, that wouldn't have been at all fitting. No, I asked them to set their servants the task of bailing out the boat. The more servants they could employ, the more water they could remove from the boat. I also pointed out that they could probably pay their servants less now, as, to be honest, there weren't many other jobs on offer.

 

So at this point, we'd managed to chuck the poorer and less able individuals into the sea, but we weren't actually any closer to mending the holes in the hull. However, the knowledge that others had been thrown out of the boat, helped those wealthier passengers in the boat to somehow feel relatively more secure, relatively more wealthy, less likely to get their feet wet, and most importantly - more likely to vote for me in the next Great Boat-Fixing Election.

 

With the water volume increasing, but with the water level lowered by the Archimedean ejection of the poor and less able, I realised that I could even start to drill more holes in the hull to allow the wealthy to continue to fish through the bottom of the hull.

 

Amazingly, I'd been captain for about 4 years by this time, and people still believed that I cared about the water level despite the fact that it continued to rise.

 

Lol.

 

Seriously, I'll run that by you again. I drilled more holes in the bottom of that boat, and yet managed to convince people that the level of the water was important to me.

 

You couldn't make it up. I don't know how I sleep at night. (rhet.)

 

Getting people to believe that I cared about the the water deficit was an important piece of propaganda for me to spread, because not everyone left in the boat felt completely comfortable about seeing their fellow humans bobbing up and down in the open sea.

 

For those still inside the boat that had a conscience, it was important to give them a flag to wave; an explanation that they could trot out, and so I made them repeat time and time again that we must reduce the water deficit (the rate at which the boat was still filling with water) so that we can someday get back to "the way things were".

 

And it worked, those wealthy people still in the boat wave that flag today, telling everyone who will listen that despite the fact that we've thrown some of our fellow travellers out of the boat, and despite the fact that the water level is still rising, and despite the fact that I've drilled more holes in the bottom of the boat, and despite the fact that I've committed to drilling even more holes in the bottom of the boat if I win the next Great Boat-Fixing Election, that we're only doing this to make the boat better for everyone.

 

The moral of this story? Well, it's two-fold I guess.

 

Firstly, don't trust a word I say - these are ideological holes, not fiscal ones.

 

Secondly, if you're in the boat sitting comfortably with dry feet whilst staring at people in trouble in the ocean, and you don't feel compelled to throw them a life vest, then you're a ****.

 

Toke's a ****.

That's one way of looking at it.

You won't believe this, but oddly enough, I have, trousers. If you're living comfortably, then I'll begin...

 

We were sailing on board the SS Allegory at time we noticed that we had sprung a leak.

 

Some of the steerage passengers had reported getting their feet wet, although others on higher decks said that they hadn't noticed anything - other than a increased smell coming up from steerage.

 

A number of us passengers came forward with plans as to how the hull could be fixed. Given my superior breeding and education, I stepped boldly forward and told everyone not to worry, and promised that if I was given the task of fixing the SS Allegory, I would mend the holes in the hull as quickly as possible so that we could resume cruising the oceans of the world with a happy complement of less smelly passengers.

 

I was careful to explain to anyone that would listen that the repair job would take a long time, and that with the storm still raging all around us, it would an be arduous journey.

 

I stressed that these holes in the hull didn't happen by accident, but instead had been drilled in the bottom of the boat on purpose, by risk-takers looking for an easier way to catch fish.

 

I also reminded the other passengers that the evil captain of the boat at the time had simply watched these risk-takers without trying to stop them.

 

So we took a vote - that in years to come would become known as the Great Boat-Fixing Election. Whilst others also wanted the job, those other candidates either had no experience of captaining a boat, or were related to that mad Cap'n Gordon who turned a "blind eye" to all those holes being drilled!

 

So with a mandate secured, and the responsibility well and truly shifted from those that actually drilled the holes to those that let them be drilled, I took charge.

 

Surveying the scene, I recognised that there were a couple of strategies that could be employed to secure the buoyancy of the vessel.

 

1) I could mend the holes in the hull so that the boat could better support the weight of the people inside, or

2) I could lighten the load in the boat.

 

Option 1) didn't sound very palatable at all. You see, if we were really serious about actually wanting to mend the holes in the hull and pump out all of the water, then it would cause decades of wet feet for everyone - even those that voted for me! That wasn't going to happen. So option 2) it was. I'd lighten the 'load'.

 

So, who to jettison?

 

I looked around the boat and realised that there was a strange, three-way correlation. It appeared that those that weighed the most, also had the least wealth and didn't vote for me in the Great Boat-Fixing Election.

 

Whilst it was clear that we were all in the boat together, it was also clear that some of us were more in the boat together than others.

 

So we threw the less wealthy and less able into the sea with a big-hearted, big-societal promise that we'd come back for them once we'd fixed the leaks.

 

I told the wealthy people left on board that they had to pull their weight too. I set them the task of starting to bail out the water. Obviously, I wouldn't ask them to do this themselves, that wouldn't have been at all fitting. No, I asked them to set their servants the task of bailing out the boat. The more servants they could employ, the more water they could remove from the boat. I also pointed out that they could probably pay their servants less now, as, to be honest, there weren't many other jobs on offer.

 

So at this point, we'd managed to chuck the poorer and less able individuals into the sea, but we weren't actually any closer to mending the holes in the hull. However, the knowledge that others had been thrown out of the boat, helped those wealthier passengers in the boat to somehow feel relatively more secure, relatively more wealthy, less likely to get their feet wet, and most importantly - more likely to vote for me in the next Great Boat-Fixing Election.

 

With the water volume increasing, but with the water level lowered by the Archimedean ejection of the poor and less able, I realised that I could even start to drill more holes in the hull to allow the wealthy to continue to fish through the bottom of the hull.

 

Amazingly, I'd been captain for about 4 years by this time, and people still believed that I cared about the water level despite the fact that it continued to rise.

 

Lol.

 

Seriously, I'll run that by you again. I drilled more holes in the bottom of that boat, and yet managed to convince people that the level of the water was important to me.

 

You couldn't make it up. I don't know how I sleep at night. (rhet.)

 

Getting people to believe that I cared about the the water deficit was an important piece of propaganda for me to spread, because not everyone left in the boat felt completely comfortable about seeing their fellow humans bobbing up and down in the open sea.

 

For those still inside the boat that had a conscience, it was important to give them a flag to wave; an explanation that they could trot out, and so I made them repeat time and time again that we must reduce the water deficit (the rate at which the boat was still filling with water) so that we can someday get back to "the way things were".

 

And it worked, those wealthy people still in the boat wave that flag today, telling everyone who will listen that despite the fact that we've thrown some of our fellow travellers out of the boat, and despite the fact that the water level is still rising, and despite the fact that I've drilled more holes in the bottom of the boat, and despite the fact that I've committed to drilling even more holes in the bottom of the boat if I win the next Great Boat-Fixing Election, that we're only doing this to make the boat better for everyone.

 

The moral of this story? Well, it's two-fold I guess.

 

Firstly, don't trust a word I say - these are ideological holes, not fiscal ones.

 

Secondly, if you're in the boat sitting comfortably with dry feet whilst staring at people in trouble in the ocean, and you don't feel compelled to throw them a life vest, then you're a ****.

 

Toke's a ****.

Super writing, bletch.

An interesting look back at the status of the UK's national debt back in 2009: http://www.debtbombshell.com/uk-national-debt.htm

Although some of the facts and figures on this site are now out of date, the arguments and explanations should be as relevant today as they were back in June 2009, when this site was created.

 

The UK national debt clock is still ticking fast. We already owe more than £900 billion to investors at home and abroad. The Government says our debt will hit £1,043 billion by April 2011 and £1.2 trillion just one year later. Yes, that really is £1,216,000,000,000.

To pay this year's £43 billion interest bill, every household will stump up more than £1,800 in tax. That's not a joke - that really is how much it's going to cost you. The UK's national debt has become so astronomical that it's hard to make sense of it anymore.

But in this economic climate it's never been more important to understand how politicians spend our money and why they're running up huge debts on our behalf.

 

This unprecedented level of public debt in peacetime has huge implications for Britain's economy and our future. Hopefully this site can begin to answer your questions.

An interesting look back at the status of the UK's national debt back in 2009: http://www.debtbombshell.com/uk-national-debt.htm

You cant wish away Tory economic incompetence by saying whatabout Brown 4.5 years after he left office. Fact is the current debt mountain is now 50% higher (£1.402trn compared with £945bn) than when the Tories took power.

Under this Government, after 4.5 years of false promises, 'austerity in order to get us back on track' government borrowing this year is 6% higher than it was last year. The deficit is growing and the government is offering tax cuts to the wealthy. Its criminal stupidity.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/economics/11117335/Just-how-big-is-Britains-debt-mountain.html

You cant wish away Tory economic incompetence by saying whatabout Brown 4.5 years after he left office. Fact is the current debt mountain is now 50% higher (£1.402trn compared with £945bn) than when the Tories took power.

 

Under this Government, after 4.5 years of false promises, 'austerity in order to get us back on track' government borrowing this year is 6% higher than it was last year. The deficit is growing and the government is offering tax cuts to the wealthy. Its criminal stupidity.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/economics/11117335/Just-how-big-is-Britains-debt-mountain.html

It will take a lifetime or two to recover from the incompetence of Buffoon Brown.

It will take a lifetime or two to recover from the incompetence of Buffoon Brown.

You're missing the point Whitey. Osbourne is continuing with Brown's mismanagment, outdoing him even. We aren't recovering, its getting worse. Despite an improving economy and relatively low unemployment the budget deficit is widening, not narrowing.

This government has been an economic shambles. They've demonised the poor, introduced all kinds of means testing (which looks to have failed on many occasions) and taken low paid work out of the economy with their slave labour work schemes. All pain for no gain.

As has been pointed out, they've borrowed more than Labour did in thirteen years, during a period of f**king austerity! Where has the money gone?