Urinal Behaviour

[tpbury]

We had a thread about arse wiping habits some time ago, now is the time to discuss a particular point about urinal behaviour,no, I am not talking about equidistance, glancing, though maybe tugging.

There's a bloke at work who undoes his belt, unbuttons and fully unzips his trousers and adopts a semi squat position (presumably to avoid his trousers falling down) whilst taking a **** in the urinal. He then seems to take an undue length of time ridding the Japs eye of any excess liquid. Due to the 'no glance' rule, I don't know whether he is well hung or not.

I do recall this behaviour when at primary school, often kids would let their trousers fall down, in order to not **** all over their clothes.

I was shocked about the 'standing arse wipe' in the arse wipe thread, but can anyone enlighten me about this kind of ****ing behaviour? Is it something to do with having a big cock or being circumcised? I fall into neither category, but it's such a bloody performance, I wonder if it's a medical condition.

[tpbury]

Can't believe there's over 100 views on this, yet it seems people feel uncomfortable about talking about weeing. So I am bumping my own pointless thread. Cmon, express yourselves!

[Turkish]

Does anyone tap their cock dry with toilet paper after a p*ss?

[The Cat]

I normally wipe mine on the trouser leg of the bloke next to me.

[norwaysaint]

No, I use the hand towel.

[scotty]

Does anyone else tap their cock dry with toilet paper after a p*ss?

edit

[Bearsy]

sometimes in clubs they have a dude stood in the toilets with paper towels and he does it for you if you give him 50p

[Manuel]

You know you can often direct those hand dryer downwards.

[Smirking_Saint]

Does anyone tap their cock dry with toilet paper after a p*ss?

I usually drop mine into those new Dyson hand dryers tbh

[buctootim]

I usually drop mine into those new Dyson hand dryers tbh

I tried that using a dyson vacuum cleaner. I wasnt having a wee though.

[Smirking_Saint]

I tried that using a dyson vacuum cleaner. I wasnt having a wee though.

What ? Through the bottom with those rotating brushes ?

Thats a true pro right there guys

[Dimond Geezer]

Any more than 4 shakes is a w@nk.

[timebomb]

Any more than 4 shakes is a w@nk.

It's funny, I learnt that one at school and still cant get it out of my head whenever I go to a public toilet and I'm 55.
Maybe I should stop w4nking in the toilets.

[The9]

Does anyone tap their cock dry with toilet paper after a p*ss?

Yeah, since I got to about 34.

[svetigpung]

nowdays i do like a sit down pee. At home anyway. Not only is it more relaxing but gives me plenty of time to read and put replys on this forum....must go.

[The Majestic Channon]

This is a life changer

[SNSUN]

I stand at the urinal until somebody pushes the hand dryer. Then I let rip. I've been known to time my poos in pub toilets using the hand dryer as cover noise. Especially poos which are really farty. You get fewer comments from everyone else in the bog if the hand dryer is going.

The hand dryer is my friend.

[scotty]

I stand at the urinal until somebody pushes the hand dryer. Then I let rip. I've been known to time my poos in pub toilets using the hand dryer as cover noise. Especially poos which are really farty. You get fewer comments from everyone else in the bog if the hand dryer is going.

The hand dryer is my friend.

Too much information....

[tpbury]

I stand at the urinal until somebody pushes the hand dryer. Then I let rip. I've been known to time my poos in pub toilets using the hand dryer as cover noise. Especially poos which are really farty. You get fewer comments from everyone else in the bog if the hand dryer is going.

The hand dryer is my friend.

Do you start wiping immediately if someone occupies the trap next door, or do you engage in a grim battle of wits in attempt to 'shame' them out before you?

Has anyone left a trap at the exact same time as the person next door, having heard each other take a dump and then wiping? Especially in a a quiet toilet with no hand dryers going off? I couldn't cope with it.

[Bearsy]

I actually have the opposite policies! If I'm in the traps and someone walks in I start doing really loud fake farts you know like you do when you invert your hands with your palms over your cheeks and blow really hard! I keep doing it till the standee says something like "Dude... are you ok?"

[saintbletch]

This is a life changer

I sent mine back.

As you can see there is a design error. It looks good in the pictures but the wheel actually spins towards you and not away from you as was suggested in the image.

I ended up with a clag-free crevis but a winnit-packed scrotum.

£299.99 down the drain - and before you suggest it, I tried trading standards. They couldn't care less.

[scotty]

I sent mine back.

As you can see there is a design error. It looks good in the pictures but the wheel actually spins towards you and not away from you as was suggested in the image.

I ended up with a clag-free crevis but a winnit-packed scrotum.

£299.99 down the drain - and before you suggest it, I tried trading standards. They couldn't give a shlt.

edit

[buctootim]

I sent mine back.

As you can see there is a design error. It looks good in the pictures but the wheel actually spins towards you and not away from you as was suggested in the image.

Can you not follow perfectly good diagrams? You're supposed to back pedal, just as the )) on the feet and knee show.

[saintbletch]

Can you not follow perfectly good diagrams? You're supposed to back pedal, just as the )) on the feet and knee show.

buctootim, The short answer is "no" I can't follow perfectly good diagrams. But that's not important here.

The Clag-Gone didn't have a fixed wheel so pedalling backwards simply allowed little )) symbols to form around your feet and knees, without actually causing the wheel to rotate at all.

The keen eyed among us will also spy the derailleur system employed on the Clag-Gone. I'm here to tell you that pedalling backward against a derailleur system is the act of a man soon to have oil on his fingers.

But thanks for taking the time to offer advice. I feel your love.

[Cheese on Toast]

Is ****ing on someone bad?

[SNSUN]

Do you start wiping immediately if someone occupies the trap next door, or do you engage in a grim battle of wits in attempt to 'shame' them out before you?

Has anyone left a trap at the exact same time as the person next door, having heard each other take a dump and then wiping? Especially in a a quiet toilet with no hand dryers going off? I couldn't cope with it.

Wiping in pub toilets is a whole separate issue. Rarely is there any bog paper, and if there is, it's probably lying on the urine soaked floor. That's when the faithful hanky kicks in, and not to mention socks and boxers, should the need arise. I once chucked a shltty hanky out a bog window once in a dive club in Brighton. Apparently it landed in the beer garden. I didn't stick around to find out. Alternately you can use the flush water as a makeshift bidet. Takes a while though and your hands smell after.

Anyone ever pooed in a urinal?

[saint_in_munich]

There's a guy where I work who stands the urinal with his trousers and boxers round his ankles! Terrible shock to walk in and see an old guys bear rse.

[SNSUN]

There's a guy where I work who stands the urinal with his trousers and boxers round his ankles! Terrible shock to walk in and see an old guys bear rse.

Bearsy has a bear arse.

[tpbury]

There's a guy where I work who stands the urinal with his trousers and boxers round his ankles! Terrible shock to walk in and see an old guys bear rse.

There we are - is this considered any way normal - who grows up thinking this kind of behaviour is normal????

[The9]

Yeah, since I got to about 34.

Though not in public loos. Only in cubicles or at home. This is by no means the worst thing time has done to me.

[Golden Balls]

Got to hate ****ing into a cold urinal or ****ing outside on a cold day when the yellow steam makes it way towards your face.

[tartan_saint]

Should be on the entrance to every Gents, ffs!

[tpbury]

Thanks Tartan, there's clearly an appetite for structure and rules in the urinal. And in the sh_i_tter. We have had two documented cases of unnecessary pant dropping. How can this be eliminated?

[notnowcato]

Thanks Tartan, there's clearly an appetite for structure and rules in the urinal. And in the sh_i_tter. We have had two documented cases of unnecessary pant dropping. How can this be eliminated?

Eliminated?? Surely you mean "Embraced"?