Toilet tissue.

[Draino76]

I currently use an exceptional amount of toilet tissue at my apartment in East London.

[CB Saint]

Taken out a subscription to the adult channels?

[Draino76]

I don't think its that.

I just feel like its money slipping through my fingers with every wipe.

Its probably more economical do install a water jet system, or a a temporary fix I could use a watering can instead, as they do in some parts of Northern India.

[Bearsy]

Taken out a subscription to the adult channels?

That was my first thought too!

Draino needs to look at his diet. They key to lowering paper consumption is to achieve a poo that comes out clean and smooth with barely touching the sides. It's a delicate balance! Too little fibre and they come out like condensed nuggets of hardened material, like lumps of coal. These are easy clean up but can be very painful to pass and even draw blood! Too much fibre though and you deliver a brown mess with the consistency of Mr.Whippy ice cream - these require excessive wipings and repeat visits.

It is a matter of nicest adjustment! Perhaps upload some pics and I can advise further.

[buctootim]

Love the planet, your pocket, and your arse. Washable nappies. Its your only choice.

[Tokyo-Saint]

My Mrs is obsessed with the price of toilet paper, monitoring it each week, offers etc.

If she put half that much effort into the stock exchange we would be rich and I wouldn't have to have this bloody avatar!

[Saintjersey]

Clean your ass in the shower then you will never have to use toilet paper again.

[Colinjb]

I don't think he is asking a question or seeking a solution, merely making a statement.

Maybe it's the first sentance in a novel, or the beginnings of a thematic discussings regarding the meaning of time, existence and humanity, all symbolised and tailored around the motif of a toilet roll shortage.

Or he is dying for a crap and genuinely struggling for an alternative.

[notnowcato]

What makes you exceptional?

[notnowcato]

My Mrs is obsessed with the price of toilet paper, monitoring it each week, offers etc.

If she put half that much effort into the stock exchange we would be rich and I wouldn't have to have this bloody avatar!

Oh Toke, Your Mrs is a nutter

[pap]

Ah, the age old "what's the best way to wipe your butthole debate".

Bidet all the way, people. If you can't do that, at least have the decency to wet-wipe until "you can no longer see brown". In this world of artificial divisions, few things unite the human race as much as extreme distaste for someone who smells of sh!t.

[Deano6]

If you're using a wet-wipe until you "no longer see brown", haven't you just rubbed it back in?

[Liquidshokk]

If you're using a wet-wipe until you "no longer see brown", haven't you just rubbed it back in?

You can wipe forever with those things. In fact wiping with any paper takes forever lately. Think I'm full of sh1t.

[pap]

Wet toilet paper was more what I was aiming for, warm water from a tap, for example.

[Gambol2K9]

Kitchen roll benefits from a large surface area, can really save time on those 'big jobs'

[Jonnyboy]

Love those spray hoses they have in Thailand, would love to get one installed.

[Bearsy]

I have a spray hose. It's not long enough to reach my bumhole tho unfortunately.

[Spudgun]

Why the hell are you people doing poopoos at your homes? That's why workplaces have toilets, so you can get paid to poo.

[scotty]

Well, this is one thread I'm certainly glad that I viewed.

[Joe Kirkup]

we all know the rules - 3 sheets only. 1 up, 1 down and 1 to polish

[maysie]

we all know the rules - 3 sheets only. 1 up, 1 down and 1 to polish

You need to separate the two ply to make it last even longer. If t gets on your hands, that what the sink is for.

[Joe Kirkup]

You need to separate the two ply to make it last even longer. If t gets on your hands, that what the sink is for.

Or the cat

[maysie]

Or the cat

Or the wife, lover, live in girlfriend, thai prostitute, rent boy.

[tpbury]

22 replies on this 5h1tand nobody gives a stuff about my Urinal thread - what's the world coming to?

[Tokyo-Saint]

22 replies on this 5h1tand nobody gives a stuff about my Urinal thread - what's the world coming to?

Sh1t isn't it?

[Draino76]

Had a shower after my morning dump. No paper used and you could eat yer dinner off my behind this morning. Perfect. (Breakfast I mean).

[The Cat]

Or the cat

No one's using me to wipe their butt.

Unless they are paying of course. I have to find a way of paying for away games somehow.

[Dimond Geezer]

Buy San Izal, it's so rough & hard you'll never want to take a dump at home, you will hold until you get to work, not only saving you cash on bog roll & water bills (if you're metered), but you also get paid to do it.