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What films are you watching?


Pancake

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OK gang. One of my valuable 3 posts a day and no mention of Golf.

 

Oh.

 

Just watched possible the WORST film ever made. I mean it is SO bad, it is in the Mars Attacks category of Bad Films. Actually, it could be up there amongst the BEST Bad fims ever made.

 

Machete Kills.

 

Look it is dreadful. It is a sequel to a much better crafted story. It has an almost insane list of A-List Actors who have about 5 minute cameos in it (including Lady Gaga who narrowly lost to Kim Kardasian in the Golden Raspberry awards as worst actress.

 

In it's defence it has an all grown up Michelle Rodriquez and Bearsy will LOVE the Whore House Chicks (The strap-on gag is a classic).

 

The knife fight fairly early on where the cloned super soldier is stabbed in the gut by Machete is meh, until the actual "death scene" which to be honest is beyond Tarantino in creativity. Possibly the most gross death scene concept ever?

 

It is simply dreadful. I chortled all the way through and PMSL with a complete ROFL at one point. Get a bucket of beers in, kick the kids & misses out and grab a barf bag.

 

Bloody great.

 

(Stars Danny Trejo, with Charlie Sheen, Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Gaga, Cuba Gooding Jnr, Antonio Banderas and Mel Gibson as a baddy who makes Goldmember look sane and well acted)

 

Bloody crap. a future classic! Can't wait for the sequel Machete Kills in Space) - yeah, THAT bad.

 

Note I do watch proper films but you lot normally see them before me and post great reviews.

 

Oh & Bear? The knife throwing bra is but the start.........

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This weekend's cultural exchange was We're the Millers, as suggested by my youngest brother. His record on comedy is patchy; he likes the Scary Movie films and earnestly recommended You Don't Mess With the Zohan a few years back. I've learned to be wary.

 

We're the Millers is pretty good though. It concerns a weed dealer that ends up losing a load of cash, and is strong-armed into smuggling a large quantity of weed in from Mexico to make good on his debts. He hits upon the brainwave that families are less likely to get searched crossing the border, so lacking one of his own, he recruits a stripper, a homeless girl and the weird kid from next door to be his family.

 

The writers have a lot of fun with the family-that's-not-really-a-family conceit. They barely know each other to begin with, so their lack of social grace in family situations drives much of the early comedy. They have no knowledge of what the others will say, but the word fúck is a safe bet in their early encounters with other families. There's another genius use of how they're perceived later on, but I won't spoil it.

 

The comic performances are mostly very good. Jennifer Aniston does well as the stripper pretending to be a mom (sic), especially the having the body of a stripper part :) Son of Rambow's Will Poulter plays the girl-shy geeky son and probably steals the show. Emma Roberts plays the troubled daughter; she's Julia Robert's niece, dontcha know? Jason Seudeiki's lead can be a bit unlikeable, but really, that only happens when the plot demands it. That's the only real other issue with this film; it's a three act road trip movie by the numbers, including the seemingly insuperable moment of doom at the end of act 2, followed by the unnecessarily cheesy ending.

 

IMDB gives it 7.1. About right.

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You fücking racialist prîçk

What in liked about my comment is this:-

 

1) Rage Against The Machine lyric

2) Isn't racist, therefore smashing your "it's all a little bit racist" claim.

3) Tells you to do one ;)

 

They say things come in threes.

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I've just watched again, for the first time in many years, Clint Eastwood's 'A Perfect World'. Set in early 1960's rural Texas this film tells the story of a manhunt for an escaped convict 'Butch' (played Kevin Costner) and the relationship this unstable man soon forms with a painfully repressed 8 year old boy he takes along for the ride. The driving force behind this film is not its action sequences (well handled as they are) but this unusual relationship that grows between man and boy - both of whom are damaged in their own way.

 

I've loved this sophisticated and subtle film when it was first released back in the 1993 and looking at it again today it has lost little of its ability to impart a genuine sense of compassion for these oddball characters and concern for what happens to them. What (in the hands of a lesser film-maker than Clint Eastwood) might otherwise have been a fairly routine chase movie is transformed here into something rather special and wonderful I think. Like nearly all the better film makers Eastwood (the director) is interested in not only what people happen to do, but just as importantly why they do it. In a way A Perfect World reminds me somewhat of Peter Bogdanovich's equally gripping Paper Moon, in that in both films you just know the intimate adult-child relationship depicted just can't last and a dread sense of threat overshadows everything.

 

The appalling violence and waste of the climax is painful to watch of course, you almost feel like shouting 'NO!' at the screen, but my favourite moment occurs just beforehand when someone attempts to pacify 'Butch' by saying to him 'I know you're a good man' to which butch replies: 'No I ain't a good man ... but I'm not the worst either'.

 

An epitaph that could well apply to many of us.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqLP_E557C8

Edited by CHAPEL END CHARLIE
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  • 2 weeks later...
OK gang. One of my valuable 3 posts a day and no mention of Golf.

 

Oh.

 

Just watched possible the WORST film ever made. I mean it is SO bad, it is in the Mars Attacks category of Bad Films. Actually, it could be up there amongst the BEST Bad fims ever made.

 

Machete Kills.

 

Look it is dreadful. It is a sequel to a much better crafted story. It has an almost insane list of A-List Actors who have about 5 minute cameos in it (including Lady Gaga who narrowly lost to Kim Kardasian in the Golden Raspberry awards as worst actress.

 

In it's defence it has an all grown up Michelle Rodriquez and Bearsy will LOVE the Whore House Chicks (The strap-on gag is a classic).

 

The knife fight fairly early on where the cloned super soldier is stabbed in the gut by Machete is meh, until the actual "death scene" which to be honest is beyond Tarantino in creativity. Possibly the most gross death scene concept ever?

 

It is simply dreadful. I chortled all the way through and PMSL with a complete ROFL at one point. Get a bucket of beers in, kick the kids & misses out and grab a barf bag.

 

Bloody great.

 

(Stars Danny Trejo, with Charlie Sheen, Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Gaga, Cuba Gooding Jnr, Antonio Banderas and Mel Gibson as a baddy who makes Goldmember look sane and well acted)

 

Bloody crap. a future classic! Can't wait for the sequel Machete Kills in Space) - yeah, THAT bad.

 

Note I do watch proper films but you lot normally see them before me and post great reviews.

 

Oh & Bear? The knife throwing bra is but the start.........

 

Machete Kills is excellent. Finished watching it last night, and it does exactly what it sets out to do, which is to be an over-the-top stupid action gorefest. I reckon you're doing it a disservice by referring to it as crap. I reckon it's perfect for what it is. Just don't go in expecting any sort of subtlety.

 

I also watched a film called Bounty Killers, which is a post apocalyptic romp about vigilantes serving death warrants on corporate criminals. Netflix has it at 3 1/2 stars out of 5, which I reckon is maybe a little generous. The comic relief is pants, but I found the female lead engaging.

 

n-film-bounty-killer-1286-2.jpg

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Machete Kills is excellent. Finished watching it last night, and it does exactly what it sets out to do, which is to be an over-the-top stupid action gorefest. I reckon you're doing it a disservice by referring to it as crap. I reckon it's perfect for what it is. Just don't go in expecting any sort of subtlety.

 

I also watched a film called Bounty Killers, which is a post apocalyptic romp about vigilantes serving death warrants on corporate criminals. Netflix has it at 3 1/2 stars out of 5, which I reckon is maybe a little generous. The comic relief is pants, but I found the female lead engaging.

 

n-film-bounty-killer-1286-2.jpg

 

Hey Pap, sorry for any misunderstanding.

 

Let me try again. I LOVED Machete Kills. It was such utter tosh / bad / gross it was Brilliant!

 

It is now on my list of "D_P Cult movies" - watched it a second time last week! Mrs D_P normally HATES gorefest movies but even she ROFL'd at the Helicopter/Intestines bit.

 

As a storyline, as a movie, and indeed some of the acting, it is awful but that makes it so great. Some films are perfect BECAUSE they are so "bad".

 

Mars Attacks - Pierce Brosnan & Jack Nicholson were either risible OR comic geniuses depending on your point of view. For me the "Why can't we all just get along" speech by President Jack was one of Cinema's greatest moments. The 10 cent "Special Effects" The Megamind Martians Tom Jones, Grandma, Slim Whitman - it was CRINGEWORTHY which is why it was brilliant. If someone tried to make that in a World War Z style CGI mega budget it would just not work! Bloody LOVE that film. We come in peace.......

 

So, back to Machete. I bloody loved it. My point was it is so "bad" it is brilliant. Danny Trejo has one acting skill. He walks with his head down and growls - in every bloody movie. But it is just perfect. The whole idea of The Chameleon was genius and then getting all those stars to do a cameo...

 

So sorry I still think any Art House types should stay clear. Professional Movie critics should be banned from watching these types of films - they are for the lads!

 

Everyone else who passes by here? grab a bucket of popcorn and some tinnies and watch one of the all time great lad movies.

 

Now, playing virtually the same character, with virtually the same lines, last year's Danny Trejo movie was Dead in Tombstone it has just popped up on the Satellite Movie channels over here. This time he plays the leader of a Western Gang of Outlaws who gets gunned down by his own gang & makes a deal with the Devil (Mickey Rourke)

 

Again, the whole Satan/Hell bit is so low budget as to be risible, as is Mickey's acting. But it's a bloody great gorefest and we loved it

 

Oh and Dina Meyer she ain't in the hot chick standard of the pic you posted, (ie the type you would like to ruin) but Dina as a feisty chick. Woof woof.

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  • 2 weeks later...
I watched the Chinese film 'Hero' (2002) last night. Visually stunning, one of those that stays in the mind afterwards. I'm not a fan of all that supernatural martial art swordfighting stuff but worth it for the visuals alone.

 

Awesome film, check out Crouching Tiger from around the same time.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Recently watched a wonderful film called Tracks. It is a dramatized account of Robyn Davidson's 1977 trek across the western Australian desert - a 1700 mile journey she did in nine months with 4 camels and a dog. Not much of a plot, but the film is still captivating - gorgeous scenery and beautifully shot.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Annabelle

 

A nice middle class suburban couple living the American dream (but with a utterly inexplicable liking for grotesque dolls) witness a satanic cult murder next door and as a result enter into a nightmare existence where they find themselves the target of a hellish demon that is ever hungry for more Human souls ...

 

Stir a little bit of 'Rosemary's Baby' in with a liberal sprinkling of 'The Exorcist', add a garnish of 'Chucky' on top and you will have a formulaic, but nevertheless surprisingly effective, horror film on your plate. I seldom go to watch contemporary horror films anymore because so many of them now are crude gorefests and I like to think it takes more than that to actually scare me in a cinema. But I must admit this creepy film managed to find a decent balance between showing you the 'monster' and leaving at least something for the viewers imagination to work with. I genuinely almost jumped out of my seat on more than one occasion.

 

So if you want to give yourself a post Halloween scare then you could do a lot worse than go see 'Annabelle'.

 

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Although I've seen it a few times before I've just watched again the 1971 Clint Eastwood film 'The Beguiled'.

 

Set in the deep south during the US Civil War Eastwood plays a wounded Union soldier who is taken in by the (exclusively female) inhabitants of a remote Louisiana boarding school. A predator surround by repressed and sexually frustrated women (and girls) Eastwood plays here what is perhaps one of the most utterly unsympathetic characters he would ever portray - a brave choice perhaps for what they used to call a 'leading man' attempting to build a film career.

 

I cannot claim that this is a great (or even a very good) film, but its off-beat oddness almost makes it worth watching - let's face it very few mainstream Hollywood films of this era would dare to deal with the themes of repression, incest, and paedophilia all on display here.

 

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Fury

 

A naive young recruit with no special tank training is sent to serve in War Daddy's (Brad Pitt's) M4 Sherman tank during the last days of WWII, where he is soon introduced in no uncertain terms to the grim and bloody realities of mechanised warfare ...

 

It's lazy I know to review films only in context with other films but the temptation is irresistible in this case because 'Saving Private Ryan' casts a huge shadow over all subsequent war films, much like 'Unforgiven' does with Westerns. And 'Fury' does inevitably remind you of 'Ryan' in its extremely realistic/bloody portrayed of combat and its ambition to say something profound about the horrors of war - a ambition the script struggles to deliver I'm afraid. Yes it seems that war is indeed hell.

 

But make no mistake as a portrayal of armoured action this film has no equal - the tanks and their crews look brilliantly 'war weary' and the scene when the troop of four little Sherman's encounter a deadly German Tiger tank is superbly exciting - using actual period tanks (courtesy of the Tank Museum Bovington) rather than mock-ups or CGI helps enormously here.

 

Other aspects of the film are rather less successful. The talkie bits between the set piece battle scenes are over long and pretentious, the (often hostile) relationships between War Daddy's crew seem unrealistic given my understanding of how tank crews related to each other, and the climatic battle scene - where this one immobilised Sherman more or less slaughters a entire battalion of SS infantry - is well staged but ridiculously over the top. Look out too for the unexplained instant transition from broad daylight into the dead of night here.

 

So unlike the tanks it portrays this is a bit of a 'hit and miss' film then, but if you like your war films then you'll probably want to see this one and I doubt most viewers will be all that disappointed with the results.

 

[video=youtube;-OGvZoIrXpg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OGvZoIrXpg

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Fury

 

and the climatic battle scene - where this one immobilised Sherman more or less slaughters a entire battalion of SS infantry - is well staged but ridiculously over the top.

 

[video=youtube;-OGvZoIrXpg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OGvZoIrXpg

 

They were interviewing a WW2 veteran on R4 a couple of weeks ago about this scene. He pointed out that the Sherman guzzled fuel (about 8-12mpg) and this one seemed to go on forever.

 

He also said that an immobilsed tank was a sitting duck and that any crew would scarper as soon as possible. The Germans had a very efficient tank-buster and they would have used this first before attempting to approach a tank.

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Unfortunately I haven't yet heard this interview, but it sounds like the veteran you mention knows what he's talking about. 'Fury' on the other hand sacrificed a degree of historical plausibility in order to serve up a veritable blood bath of a climax. The producers of this film might I suppose excuse this by claiming they were engaged in making a entertainment, rather than attempting to produce a historical documentary.

 

In reality I doubt that any allied tank crew would have placed themselves in such a (suicidal) position considering that these were the 'dog days' of a war that was already won. Even had they been so very careless with their own life's for some reason the final action depicted would surely have been over in minutes - instead of just endlessly charging into the gunfire of the stationary Sherman like a bunch of Lemmings the German infantry would I suspect (given even a modest degree of miltary competence) have taken cover, brought up a Panzerfaust anti tank weapon, and Wardaddy and his entire crew would soon have been toast.

 

However from a Hollywood perspective, if you are going to show Brad Pitt or Tom Hanks sacrificing themselves then I suppose you're going to sell your audience the message that this heroic action serves some higher purpose as our movie stars lay down their life's for their fellow man. Those wanting to see Human life being pointlessly wasted in war might do better to seek out the deeply cynical 'Catch 22' rather than Fury or Saving Private Ryan.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Watched Interstellar last night. Wasn't sure I was going to bother after hearing some very mixed reviews but I enjoyed it. The film seems to be in 3 very distinct parts:

 

Part 1 - Focuses on a Father/Daughter relationship in a pre-apocalyptic world.

Part 2 - Bog standard space exploration stuff.

Part 3 - Completely batsh!t crazy magic. First real innovative sci-fi i've seen in years.

 

The first 2 acts are maybe a little weak, especially the second act, but it's more than rectified by an utterly brilliant last hour which manages to be thrilling, emotional and satisfying in a very long film.

 

Well worth a watch.

Edited by SuperMikey
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The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1.

 

After her traumatic extraction from the horrors of the 'Quarter Quell' Katniss finds herself in the unaccustomed safety and relative freedom of District 13. But any joy she might have felt by escaping the tyranny of the Capitol is compromised because her beloved Peeta was not so fortunate and the leadership of District 13 will also have their own plans in mind for her ...

 

I've seen reviews of this film that depict it as a tedious 'bridging' film imposed on HG fans in a cynical attempt to extract more cash from them. I can only assume these reviews were written before the viewers in question had actually seen this film because although splitting the Mockingjay novel into two films (made back-to-back) will doubtless prove profitable, that is not to say that this film is in any way unsuccessful. Far from it.

Indeed in many ways I found Mockingjay Part 1 to be the most mature and successful film of the series so far as the stress of competing in the actual games is replaced by a thoughtful examination of the nature of war and the key role that propaganda plays in modern conflicts. As Panem is ripped apart can Katniss and Peeta escape from those who seek to manipulate them, and what role will both these youngsters play in a (bloody) revolution they never intended to spark?

 

In Jennifer Lawrence's central performance as Katniss I think that today's audience has at last found a strong and positive female lead to match Sigourney Weaver's admirable 'Ripley' from the Alien series of my youth. And just like Sigourney Weaver I expect Jennifer Lawrence to go on to build a film career that endures beyond the obvious appeal of youth or the commercial success of one film franchise.

 

PS - Perhaps a actor of Philip Seymour Hoffman's stature might have left us a more substantial final role to remember him by, but methinks a supporting role in the Hunger Games is better than a lead in many other movies I've seen. May he RIP in any case.

 

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The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1.

 

After her traumatic extraction from the horrors of the 'Quarter Quell' Katniss finds herself in the unaccustomed safety and relative freedom of District 13. But any joy she might have felt by escaping the tyranny of the Capitol is compromised because her beloved Peeta was not so fortunate and the leadership of District 13 will also have their own plans in mind for her ...

 

I've seen reviews of this film that depict it as a tedious 'bridging' film imposed on HG fans in a cynical attempt to extract more cash from them. I can only assume these reviews were written before the viewers in question had actually seen this film because although splitting the Mockingjay novel into two films (made back-to-back) will doubtless prove profitable, that is not to say that this film is in any way unsuccessful. Far from it.

Indeed in many ways I found Mockingjay Part 1 to be the most mature and successful film of the series so far as the stress of competing in the actual games is replaced by a thoughtful examination of the nature of war and the key role that propaganda plays in modern conflicts. As Panem is ripped apart can Katniss and Peeta escape from those who seek to manipulate them, and what role will both these youngsters play in a (bloody) revolution they never intended to spark?

 

In Jennifer Lawrence's central performance as Katniss I think that today's audience has at last found a strong and positive female lead to match Sigourney Weaver's admirable 'Ripley' from the Alien series of my youth. And just like Sigourney Weaver I expect Jennifer Lawrence to go on to build a film career that endures beyond the obvious appeal of youth or the commercial success of one film franchise.

PS - Perhaps a actor of Philip Seymour Hoffman's stature might have left us a more substantial final role to remember him by, but methinks a supporting role in the Hunger Games is better than a lead in many other movies I've seen. May he RIP in any case.

 

 

She's already an Oscar winner so I think it's safe to say she's already built a career away from Hunger Games.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I watched Guardians of the Galaxy last night. It's a hugely enjoyable romp exploring some of the lesser known parts of the Marvel Universe, mostly out there in space. I don't really have that much familiarity with the source material, so I am unqualified to say how faithful it might be, but as a standalone movie it works wonderfully. I'm not surprised it was a surprise hit.

 

The main Marvel films really seem to be hitting their stride. Unfortunately, key properties like X-Men, Fantastic Four and Spider-Man are all out of the universe because other people own the rights to them. Cannot see Disney letting that situation continue forever.

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Although it's a little odd to see actors of Julie Walters and Peter Capaldi's status being somewhat wasted in what are quite minor roles, but Paddington is nevertheless still a great choice if you need to find something to entertain the kids over the holidays.

 

I may be guilty of looking at the past through 'rose tinted specs' on occasion, but even I have to admit that the production values to be found in so many of todays children's films are quite outstanding and head and shoulders above most of the stuff on offer when I was youngster.

 

I still say that 'The Railway Children' stands the test of time though ...

 

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I watched Guardians of the Galaxy last night. It's a hugely enjoyable romp exploring some of the lesser known parts of the Marvel Universe, mostly out there in space. I don't really have that much familiarity with the source material, so I am unqualified to say how faithful it might be, but as a standalone movie it works wonderfully. I'm not surprised it was a surprise hit.

 

The main Marvel films really seem to be hitting their stride. Unfortunately, key properties like X-Men, Fantastic Four and Spider-Man are all out of the universe because other people own the rights to them. Cannot see Disney letting that situation continue forever.

 

 

 

Well I'd imagine it will get sorted seeing as the timeline for the upcoming slate was released and it includes the Civil War storyline...kind of hard to do that without the x men universe

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Watched a couple of Afghanistan War movies recently on Satellite movie channels. The first was a French movie Special Forces. It was an OK evening filler, basically French SAS types get sent in to rescue a dumb French Journalist and things go boobs up. As a survival story it's OK.

 

The second was Lone Survivor. Now the main issue I have with modern US "War" movies is the whole Hoo Rah Jingoism, come join the Marines crap. So yes there is an element of we are the US we are awesomeness about it, but the basic story is (once again) based on a series of snafu's, and is based on the book of the true story of Operation Redwing.

It has a good cast and it's about a group of Navy Seals sent to recon a village to confirm a sighting of a senior Taliban leader by sitting on a hill....

From the opening credits where there is film of Seals undergoing selection training it catches your attention. The action/gunfight scenes on the Hill are possibly some of the most realistically gruesome since Tom Hanks's thingy about the Brothers.

Edge of the seat stuff, with some twists and, to be honest, it isn't a typical come join the Marines type movie (unless you're a dumb Bear and want to get shot about 100 times)

 

Operation Redwing seems to have been one of those recent events that we would never had noticed had happened on News at Ten, but it is done very well and then the closing credits.......

 

And wow, what a sensational reworked) Cover of David Bowie's Heroes, by none other than Peter Gabriel. To be honest that ending & song made the movie memorable. One of the best "modern" war films I've seenrecently that's for sure. (Even IF the scenery looked awfully like Colorado)

 

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Although I've seen it a few times before I've just watched again the 1971 Clint Eastwood film 'The Beguiled'.

 

Set in the deep south during the US Civil War Eastwood plays a wounded Union soldier who is taken in by the (exclusively female) inhabitants of a remote Louisiana boarding school. A predator surround by repressed and sexually frustrated women (and girls) Eastwood plays here what is perhaps one of the most utterly unsympathetic characters he would ever portray - a brave choice perhaps for what they used to call a 'leading man' attempting to build a film career.

 

I cannot claim that this is a great (or even a very good) film, but its off-beat oddness almost makes it worth watching - let's face it very few mainstream Hollywood films of this era would dare to deal with the themes of repression, incest, and paedophilia all on display here.

 

 

To me this is one of Eastwood's best ever movies. Not only not what you would expect from him but an excellent movie all round.

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I was dragged along (against my better judgement) to see the 'The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies' today - which is a very long film that boils down to a dragon, a tedious talkie interlude that nearly sent me to sleep, and a huge punch up with yet another apparently invincible army of bad tempered Orcs.

 

So that will be almost exactly the same as all the other Lord of the Rings/Hobbity films then ...

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Recently watched the Chinese film "A Touch of Sin" - not Hollywood fare but certainly recommended with plenty of stunning and disorienting imagery. Maybe file alongside the "What is Wrong with America" thread.

Edited by shurlock
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