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TSF Dad Thread


Bananaman

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Quite simply it's the most incredible thing in the world.

my son has just a few days ago turned 7.....the time goes by so fast,enjoy every moment.

taking him to his first saints game was just wonderful.

capture every moment.

i would have Been happy with either a boy or girl,just as long as they were healthy,but I think deep down having a boy has been so perfect.

I'm sure it would have been the same if it was a girl,guess I won't know as I doubt I will have more.

we do 'gang up' on his mum,which is great fun.

i trust you are in a stable relationship,if you are a 'single dad' everything changes,adapting is difficult and painful.

but for the little ones sake you have to just get on with it.

i won't turn this positive thread into something it isn't,but the way fathers are treated when relationships break down is quite simply appalling,from the CSA to the stigma just commonly attached to being a dad that just dearly want contact with their child but struggles for fairness.

 

you just wait till your nippers first school show or nativity,there isn't a dry eye in the house,magical.

they make you so proud everyday.

good luck,enjoy the ride,you won't laugh or cry so much.

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Well, I'm not a dad - obviously but as a mum of three and now a grandmother I'd offer this thought:

 

It takes a mother fully 12 months to recover from childbirth. Her body and hormones would have undergone huge upheaval. Couple this with a lack of sleep and you'll find she'll get very tired very easily. So will you, of course - not underestimating the upheaval for dads too.

 

Sorry for being serious but I have to tell you that one of my daughters had her second baby in September and she has been very, very poorly with a horrible flu / throat virus. Had she not recently had a baby, she would have shaken it off easily but her resistance to bugs was very low. Not unique to her but a side effect was she struggled with breast feeding for a fortnight and that was quite a concern.

 

She's better now thank goodness - but be warned. Tiredness is the worst part of being a (new) parent. Mind you, it goes on until they leave home :D

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Don't forget about yourself and your wife. Make your life happy and everything else will follow. You can't have happy kids if you're miserable yourselves, that's all I'll say. Sort that out and the "parenting" stuff will come easily.

 

Oh and your car will get ruined, so it might as well not be a nice one.

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I will be a dad for the first time in April. The missus is certainly looking forward to a year off work and getting paid for it. taking it easy for most of the day, with just the odd 20 minute feed interupting her schedule of watching Homes under the Hammer and endless soap operas and chat shows, meeting her sister in the afternoon for tea, going for walks and just generally having a class chilled out time whilst "bonding" with her son. Meanwhile i'll be grafting and working hard to keep her in the style she's accustomed to and having dad time at weekends when i can. Its must be just like having a full time hobby for new mums.

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I will be a dad for the first time in April. The missus is certainly looking forward to a year off work and getting paid for it. taking it easy for most of the day, with just the odd 20 minute feed interupting her schedule of watching Homes under the Hammer and endless soap operas and chat shows, meeting her sister in the afternoon for tea, going for walks and just generally having a class chilled out time whilst "bonding" with her son. Meanwhile i'll be grafting and working hard to keep her in the style she's accustomed to and having dad time at weekends when i can. Its must be just like having a full time hobby for new mums.

 

^ This

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I have 4 teenage children 19, 16 and two at 13........ 3 all go to matches from time to time, the rest of the time they cause me grief and cost me money, but would not change it for anything. My biggest hurt is when its not cool to be seen with Dad unless I am dropping them off or dishing out money.....

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three girls, 16, 15 and 11.

 

Been a bloody nightmare, and wouldnt change a thing.

 

Currently living with their mother as we split up about 2 1/2 years ago, but coming to live with me in a few months, as now they are a bit older we gave them the choice and they choose me.

Wonderful.

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3 Kids

 

Youngest 24 just moved back in with me & FMDP.

 

They killed my career as they were in the Education system here so I couldn't uproot them to Europe, they bled me dry in School Fees (no State System here), BUT I would NEVER change a single thing not a bloody chance.

 

And now?

 

Damn I am so proud of all 3 of them, how they have turned out, the Life Choices they have made and what they are achieving in their careers and their lives.

 

And anyway, they BETTER be Bloody successful, with them & the Divorce and not paying NI for 19 years SOMEONE's gotta pay my Bloody Pension when I finally pack it in......

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I will be a dad for the first time in April. The missus is certainly looking forward to a year off work and getting paid for it. taking it easy for most of the day, with just the odd 20 minute feed interupting her schedule of watching Homes under the Hammer and endless soap operas and chat shows, meeting her sister in the afternoon for tea, going for walks and just generally having a class chilled out time whilst "bonding" with her son. Meanwhile i'll be grafting and working hard to keep her in the style she's accustomed to and having dad time at weekends when i can. Its must be just like having a full time hobby for new mums.

 

Congratulations.

 

PS looking after kids makes work feel like a break. Be thankful she's doing it!

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Became a dad for the first time in August. She's absolutely incredible!! Had to have emergency surgery at about 20 hours old and spent the first month in intensive care so makes every moment I spend with her even more special. Seeing her face light up when I get in from work is the best feeling in the world! Only trouble is I find myself worrying every minute of the day but maybe that's just because of the start she had in life!

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Became a dad for the first time in August. She's absolutely incredible!! Had to have emergency surgery at about 20 hours old and spent the first month in intensive care so makes every moment I spend with her even more special. Seeing her face light up when I get in from work is the best feeling in the world! Only trouble is I find myself worrying every minute of the day but maybe that's just because of the start she had in life!

 

It's a natural reaction fella. It goes after a while after you have seen them fall of a climbing frame, run into a wall, fall off their bike and bounce back in seconds.

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Two boys, youngest 12, eldest 16 tomorrow, and I remember everything about the birth. Some good times, some rough times & some great times. The good & great outweigh the bad. Very proud of both of them, neither has let me down in anything they've done. Bloody expenpsive though. If it wasn't for them I'd have had 16 foreign holiday since 1997.

 

As for the Dad tips, read to them from birth, be strict on the bedtime routine & do as much as you can with them. It's an old saying but time really does fly once you become a parent & it's up to you to make the most of it before it's gone. I can't believe that in 9 months time I could legally be a grandad. :?

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One nipper - 5 years old.

 

I am winning the fight with the in laws, who are trying to turn him into a Man Utd fan.

 

When presented with Man Utd slippers by his Grandad on Christmas day, he shouted "I hate Man United" then promptly took them to the kitchen and binned them.

 

Victory. I just hope you do not have the same tussle.

Edited by terrypward
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One nipper - 5 years old.

 

I am winning the fight with the in laws, who are trying to turn him into a Man Utd fan.

 

hen presented with Man Utd slippers by his Grandad on Christmas day, he shouted "I hate Man United" then promptly took them to the kitchen and binned them.

 

Victory. I just hope you do not have the same tussle.

 

My 4 year old grandson's dad is a Toffee and the poor boy has had to wear Everton stuff since birth. I was very happy the other day when grandson asked me 'How did Southampton get on, Nana?' and then I remembered I'd kept telling him we had a Yoshi in our team - he's mad on MarioCart. Seemed to have worked :D

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Living where I do I decided to allow my lad to chose who he supported as Wolves & Stoke are both local (he knew Utd, City etc were not allowed) but he chose Saints so he could go with his dad.

 

He loves being a Saint in Staffordshire and proudly wears his colours.

 

However, the best is watching him play football or cricket. I get more pleasure from that then I ever have watching Saints or Hampshire.

 

With my daughters I find myself often dabbing my eyes when I see them do their dance recitals etc.

 

I love being a dad!

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Daughter (our first) was born in October and is awesome.

 

Not quite able to roll over from her back onto her front yet but not far off.

 

Working all day and then coming home to bath and put her to bed (whilst her mum to a break) felt like the raw end of the deal at first but having how had a couple of days off with her at home whilst her Mum is out I can say with confidence that going to work is definitely the easier option. No question.

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I have a six year old girl and a 6 month old girl. My wife got post natal depression with our first and it was horrific. With the new baby no depression and its wonderful. Watch out for signs of depression and act quickly if you suspect anything.

 

You hear stories of looking into babies eyes when they are born and instantly connecting and falling in love like nothing you've ever felt before. It didn't happen to me, it took months for us to 'connect'. Once that happened its a love like no other.

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1st 6 months are boring. They're messy at both ends.

 

From then on it's hard work but worth it. Fascinating watching them develop and learn.

 

Mine was brought up the right way. Saints reserves games at The Dell when he was about 6 or 7 then a Season Ticket in the Junior Saints.

He's now 26 and goes to most games home and away.

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Two boys, now 19 and 22. My best mates and their childhood passed so quickly, so enjoy it OP.

From about aged three when they became more mobile and we got out the front door easier, we did everything together until they went to uni.

As well as some fantastic family times, as Saints supporters we used to go to the Dell, but I used to spend hours queuing for tickets.I took them with some of their mates to watch England U21 beating Poland (?) 5-0 with Frank Lampard bossing proceedings and decided just taking the pair was easier.

We did tours of The Dell and St Marys for birthday 'parties'.

Once St Marys opened I got three season tickets and we had a great night at the MLT testamonial, the cup final at Cardiff, Johnstone Paints final, and both promotions.

Good times !!

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Yeah I want to start taking him to games soon with the hope that he will want to start playing. Problem is my pre-match ritual isn't exactly child friendly... and I don't really want to change it!

 

looks like you'll be sitting in the Chapel with an Orange juice in no time ;)

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I had my girls younger than I planned, but it seems to have worked out alright. Was 20 when my first daughter was born, and was done on the producing babies front by 24.

 

Life does end up pretty back to front as a result. Quite hard in the early years financially, was really difficult having that much responsibility at that age, but on the upside, had plenty of energy to deal with late nights and illness.

 

These days seem positively easy by comparison. Long term, it's an extremely edifying experience to raise kids, very rewarding too. The relationship you have with your kids is deeper than any you'd have with long term best mates, and I gain a lot of strength, inspiration and laughs from my family.

 

I've been told by loads of skint dads that the transfer of funds from parent to kids doesn't end at 18 :)

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Good thread. I have 13,11 and 3 year old. The ankle biter limits what I can get up to with the older ones, but they go to soccer training proudly in their Yellows, welll before Saints became 'known'over here in Oz. All that 'being there' stuff is really important I think, even the bathing when they're young. But equally, when they're older and don't even see you on the sidelines at training, simply 'being there' is important - if 'Dad' wasn't there, it wouldn't make a big difference to the training, but it makes 'Dad' feel good (so long as he keeps his trap shut) and does make the bond.

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Two girls 33 and 24, and a 22 year-old son.

 

Thankfully the girls have now flown the nest and am currently giving the boy a hard time to try and get him to **** off.

 

:)

 

One of my 28 yo girls has left, the other has come home, my 22 yo son is still home so I have left home instead! :)

 

To clarify that, I am a widower so I have not left the wife and the kids!

 

To answer the OP, make the most of it. Children can bring you great joy, one of the hardest things is to get the balance right between work and life, just remember you never get that time back*. I found one of the best times was when they were aged 3 to 5. After they go to school they have a part of their life you know little about, that is the start of letting go. The teenage years can be interesting, do not panic if you seem to lose communication during that period, they will come back!

 

As for the asterisk. As a Grandad you do get some of that time back and sweet revenge when their offspring do the same things to them that they did to you. Hearing one of my daughters say " was I really like that? Sorry Dad! is lovely. Grandchildren are worth the wait, spoil them and give them back, all the best bits of parenting, none of the downsides.

 

Enjoy, offspring are what keeps life going!

Edited by positivepete
To answer the OP
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I've been told by loads of skint dads that the transfer of funds from parent to kids doesn't end at 18 :)

 

Oh no. My son will be 40 next Christmas and my daughter is 36. Between them we have seven grandchildren from six months to fourteen. They are what make life worthwhile. My wife and I met in1966 when we were both sixteen and we have been married for over 42 years and we can look back over our lives with quiet satisfaction at the way they have been brought up and wonder at how quickly it all went. Enjoy every moment, good and bad, and soon you realise that your own mum and dad were right after all. Who was it who said: 'By the time I realised my dad was right, I had a son telling me that I was wrong'?

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Two grown-up daughters, 33 and 30. Yes the early years are hard and they never stop costing, but the happiness from all their successes outweighs everything.

 

What I'm happiest about now is that I can count the girls as two of my closest friends. Have two stepsons as well and all of us still get a week's holiday together every year.

 

But a great achievement is converting them to Saints fans although neither of them have ever been to Southampton! They always get to a couple of away games each season and I have a great memory of a day out with them both at Wembley. And they matched me pint for pint both before and after the game.

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Congratulations Bananaman and Turkish,

 

I've got girls of 5 and 7. The odd thing is how different your kids turn out to each other. I know we should expect it, I'm nothing like my brother or sister, but it still surprises you.

 

The best advice is not to pay too much attention to anyone else's expert parenting advice. Do what feels right for you and your kid. What worked for them and their kid has very little bearing on the matter.

 

My daughters showed today that they are both already far better skiers than me. They take the **** out of my Norwegian too.

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Oh yeah and never get into the thing some people have of thinking about when you'll be able to "get back to normal", that's all gone now, start learning how to enjoy a completely new life. There's definitely more there to enjoy. The first thing you have to learn is that being a petty arse-hole will destroy your relationship pretty fast. It doesn't matter whose "turn" it is, just do everything you can and respect that your partner is too.

 

I reckon my marriage was saved by a pact to agree never to hold any grudges about anything we said to each other when we were woken up during the night. It can get a bit nasty when you haven't slept much in three weeks and you have to go to work in two hours. Everything had to be forgotten by morning.

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Oh yeah and never get into the thing some people have of thinking about when you'll be able to "get back to normal", that's all gone now, start learning how to enjoy a completely new life. There's definitely more there to enjoy. The first thing you have to learn is that being a petty arse-hole will destroy your relationship pretty fast. It doesn't matter whose "turn" it is, just do everything you can and respect that your partner is too.

 

I reckon my marriage was saved by a pact to agree never to hold any grudges about anything we said to each other when we were woken up during the night. It can get a bit nasty when you haven't slept much in three weeks and you have to go to work in two hours. Everything had to be forgotten by morning.

 

That's good advice. I have a three year old son. Love it now but the first 6 months or so there were times I thought we'd made a mistake and weren't ready, but once they start walking and talking you bond with them quickly. Now he's awesome!

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I have an 11 year old son and a 7 year old daughter. Can honestly say it's been a pleasure so far, but i guess the teenage years are to come! Watching them grow and develop, gaining personality, exploring talents and mistakes, it is a terrific journey for a parent. Can't really add to what has been said already, but i would say don't beat yourself up trying to be the perfect parent, take time to step back and look at situations objectively, encourage but don't overburden them with expectation and above all enjoy it.

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4 boys - 12, 9, 3 and 8 months. The 12 year-old is well into puberty and fights non-stop with the 9 year-old, and the 3 year old is jealous as f**k of the baby.

 

And I am f**king exhausted. I am sure I am proud of all of them and love them with all my heart, but I cant think straight most of the time and cant wait to get away from the house sometimes.

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similar age spread to me, except without the extra baby - you must be mad or catholic. I did leave the house - permanently, Whenever my 13 and 11 year old are with me (with the 3 year old), I have to separate them like an umpire in a Japanese fighting fish contest.

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In my experience up till about 12 you guide them, advise them and hope that you are bringing them up to respect everything and everybody. Absolutely fantastic until the teenage years when you need to keep your fingers crossed because they turn into people you don't recognise. Mine are now 29 (son), 27 (daughter) and 25 (son) and all have left home and thank god came through their teenage years relatively unscathed. It's been hard work but we are very close, my 2 boys work with me.

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I have 2 boys one 10 and one 6 due to my ex moving away I rarely get to see my oldest but my 6 year old is amazing, saints mad and a season ticket holder already ! Having kids changed my life it it wasn't for them I'd be in jail or worse , my youngest Theodore (Walcott) Matthew (le god) is like my trim people tell me and is more like my best friend than my son ! There is no tip that I can give is be yourself do what your gut tells you to do sure listen to advice but at the end of the day do it your way ! And most important of all have fun and don't be afraid of acting stupid in public while doing it !

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Oh no. My son will be 40 next Christmas and my daughter is 36. Between them we have seven grandchildren from six months to fourteen. They are what make life worthwhile. My wife and I met in1966 when we were both sixteen and we have been married for over 42 years and we can look back over our lives with quiet satisfaction at the way they have been brought up and wonder at how quickly it all went. Enjoy every moment, good and bad, and soon you realise that your own mum and dad were right after all. Who was it who said: 'By the time I realised my dad was right, I had a son telling me that I was wrong'?

 

Well, I don't necessarily hold every opinion of my parents, but I do have more respect and understanding of the pressures they were under when raising kids, and of course it's the old cliche, but becoming a dad changes you more or less instantly.

 

It's nice to see an account of a grandad - your satisfaction in your family is well deserved. My grandad sometimes gets the hump because for most of his life, he was just an excellent car mechanic and a father to five kids, while many of his siblings are high-powered lawyers and doctors in the US. I tell him off everytime he starts that nonsense. He's got a score of grandkids, great grand-kids and the respect of them all. Pretty good place to end up in life, imo.

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similar age spread to me, except without the extra baby - you must be mad or catholic. I did leave the house - permanently, Whenever my 13 and 11 year old are with me (with the 3 year old), I have to separate them like an umpire in a Japanese fighting fish contest.

 

LOL. I'm mad, the missus is Catholic.

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Here's a ripper of a story.

 

1) Can't see Camoron or The Queen doing this

2) What a well trained little Girl

3) Ooooooh I bet Dad is now in deep pooh

 

 

2s8pa2p.jpg

 

H.H. General Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed Al Nahyan (Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi, Deputy Supreme Commander of the UAE Armed Forces), was driving in Abu Dhabi, he saw a little girl beside a school who seemed to be lost as she was showing worrying looks.

 

H.H.Sh.Mohammed parked his car and went with his Assistant to the girl asking her if she was lost and he offered the little girl a lift direct to her family home.

 

The little girl said that her father is supposed to be here and she refused the drive as her father warned her to go with any stranger! The sheikh's assistant told the little girl that this gentleman is not a stranger, he is Sh. Mohammed!!

The girl answered: yes I know, but my dad said not to go with any strangers

 

A teacher who had been called by the Security Guard came rushing back and took the pic on her phone

 

Bet she's had a bad day today as well

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