P*rtsmouth

Looks like some important breaking Sky Sports News info so it stands out and everyone knows which thread to avoid for the next hour.

Cotton Wool Bud? Pick it?

It's not just 23 down that has us flustered

Here's one to get the ball rolling:

Little girl is in the garden with her Dad and she asks "Is that a Mummy-Longlegs underneath that Daddy-Longlegs?"

Dad says "No Sweetie, there are no Mummy-Longlegs, only Daddy-Longlegs."

Dad felt very proud of her inquisitive mind until she stamps on them both saying "We'll have none of that gay sh*t in our f***ing garden!"

1. Feel sorry for them?

2. Laugh it off and accept it is the actions of someone who can't help it?

3. ?

Any ideas?

My boy was telling me about his match last season on the drive home, all the good stuff he did and when he had finished I said “Not bad, but I bet you cannot put a fruit pastel in your mouth, without chewing it… gotta chew, gotta chew, gotta chew”. With a look that could only be mistaking of, my dad has finally flipped (again). 

Another one and on a football theme is when we all get in the car and the kids are faffing around trying to get their seat belts on, there mother will say “you in”, to which I will always say “Robert’s”. Again my wife understands, but with my 2 girls not even liking footy leaving the boy to understand the reference from a late 90’s and early 00’ footballer. 

Another is when I used to do the school run with my youngest daughter and I used to say “that was a strange manoeuvre”, when a driver did something odd, and then my daughter started saying it, after time I then added to my daughter saying “that was a strange manoeuvre”, with my own “in the dark” a reference to Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark. Now it has flipped and my daughter adds the “in the dark” but has no idea of why. 😂 

I have loads that I do without thinking, but only remember as and when I do them. Another is when I check something the kids say they have done, and I say “let’s just check that with Bully”

do you have any weird things that you add at the end or say that only your age would get. 
 

Lacy things -- the wife is missin',

Didn't ask -- her permission,

I'm wearin' her clothes,

Her silk pantyhose,

Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

In the store -- there's a teddy,

Little straps -- like spaghetti,

It holds me so tight,

Like handcuffs at night,

Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

In the office there's a guy named Melvin,

He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.

He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say,"Whoa, Man!"

"Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"

Later on, if you wanna,

We can dress -- like Madonna,

Put on some eyeshade,

And join the parade,

Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!

Lacy things... missin',

Didn't ask... permission,

Wearin' her clothes,

Her silk pantyhose,

Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,

Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!

Hopefully I'm back, I'm still a bit bleurgh, so at the moment I'm just testing the waters, it's been a very long time for me. I've

made the odd post on the main bored but nothing that would create a social media convo.

If this works out for me then I'll re-register and if wanted then I'll think about doing the magical PMs. I may be 35 biologically, but mentally I'm still a very immature 21 yr old, and medical people can back that up 14yrs of catching up starts now

Speaking of Muppets, I'd like to say it's nice to see and congratulate that Bert and Ernie finally came out. Worst kept Muppet/Sesame secret ever.

Hi everyone, I'm Master Bates, and I feel on top of the world.

Is Dog still on here?

I miss Jillyanne I have 4 pics of spiders I want to upload on FB and tag her in. Might still for old time sake x

I hate you all.

And there we have it… the usual slip into personal insults. Why do you feel it necessary to label someone ‘mental’ when you don’t know them?  Outrageous and in the same league as racial or homophobic abuse. Well done.

Pictures would be good as I am still in the chair until xmas.

So... whats your favourite team names for small sided competitions?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Sw0VCtZs-g

Because to be Frank it’s absolutely embarrassing that it’s happened twice and the manager is under no pressure at all. 
 

The relevance here is that, this game highlights how bad it actually is to lose 9-0.

There are 3 contestants in the final tonight. One of them is the spitting image of our goalkeeper.  The likeness is uncanny. I am not sure if he is the favourite but I will be rooting for him to win.

What are folks' thoughts on the credibility or desirability of a Red Bull takeover?

My instinct is that I'd be in favour, in principle as long as there isn't an absurd rebrand.

I don't feel hugely wedded to the name of the stadium. Would like to keep plain old "St Mary's", but could live with something different, I guess.

Becoming "RB Southampton FC" would be a pretty serious red line for me though.

I think there are rules around renaming teams, fortunately.

Any ideas on how to use it ?

https://www.newsnow.co.uk/h/UK/Health/Mental+Health?search=FA%20Cup

https://twitter.com/HLOBlog/status/1200424529664847877

This video from a passer by appears to show that the perpetrator was jumped and detained by some civilians, then the police ordered them to scatter so they could take a shot. He must have been incredibly dangerous if they felt they couldn't just arrest him from there.

Davis - check

Gabbi - check

Macca - nope

Hoedt - check

Forster - maybe?

Hope her ins are right to that percentage!

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Is it similar to twitter?

Asking for Friend.

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This constitutes cyber bullying and is supposedly not allowed on this forum. The mods should take action and ban this individual / people from the forum indefinitely. Bullies should not be tolerated.

Shame, was in my top 5 posters before tonight.

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Rev. Ian Paisley

Silvio Berlusconi

Alex Ferguson

Duke of Edinburgh

Ian Brady

I’ll kick us off.

Brian Blessed and Stephen Fry.

Throw in Roman Atkinson too.

Seriously though, I've been rejected for the counselling that would have helped me out and now left floating about with no future so looking for alternatives. If anyone knows anyone who can help......

You can reach out and inspire a participanting **** via @LFC or @SpursOfficial.

£5M down the drain

We need to replace Fonte and nothing less than a top CB will do.

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/sport/premier-league/andy-carrolls-west-ham-career-over-hammers-will-let-striker-leave-for-free-this-summer-as-ankle-surgery-rules-him-out-for-rest-of-season/ar-BBVIRT9?li=BBoPWjQ

Benefits

• advertising space dedicated to them on my avatar
  
• my allegiance to their SWF agenda for 1 year
  

Cost = £5

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6666485/Duncan-Bannatyne-70-wife-Nigora-Whitehorn-38-stroll-beach-Barbados.html

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A sporting good news story of the year IMO.

So far:

July 21st - Derby County (0-3)

Reason: Derby further ahead than us in pre season/ tough schedule for Chins trip

4th Aug - Borussia Monchengladbach

Reason: Hot conditions/three games in a week

12th Aug - Burnley (0-0)

Reason: Burnley sharper due to EL matches played

Not sure if I can edit so feel free to update as/when needed

A few days ago one got a question like ‘you know what it is like to score against Brazil, so..., ‘

Absolutely no comparison so let’s not pretend that is where the insight comes from

all joking aside, our first little one is due in January and as much as I've tried to get us ready, you never really know.

Any advice, decent blogs, links to websites?

I don't claim to know much about finance but it looks to me as though he is in real trouble.

https://www.bloomberg.com/quote/000558:CH

How would this go down at st marys?

Let’s be blunt must women at st marys are vile specimens, outright disaster of human beings.

The single ones are Usually fat and stupid, Struggling to even get basic things right like the name of players, in our league one days some thick bint behind me insisted Rickie Lamberts name was actually Rich Lampard. Or at least she spent the whole season screaming it in her badly fitting sash shirt. Fat embarrassing scruffy geezer birds who to blunt don’t deserve a ticket.

Then there are the ones on the pull. Get all dressed up and hang around in pubs before and after games thinking foootball is a good pulling ground. Generally better looking than the type above but still pretty clueless About what’s going on on the pitch, more interested In leering over Shane Long not admitting he is arguably a slightly better looking Brett Ormerod.

Finally there are the girls in a relationship. So dense and insecure they can’t imagine what it’d be like to spend an afternoon away from their fella. Rather than letting him

Enjoy an afternoon with his mates they tag along whinging and moaning, trying to hold

His hand or put their head on his shoulder, tuttting about him being aggressive or laddy when he wants to join in a chant. Personally I think any bloke who lets his bird come to a game with him is a massive lemon anyway so we could probably do wth getting shot of them too. So perhaps we should look at banning couples too but that anothe battle got another day.

I applaud our lazio brothers for their actions and hope the WOOF (Women Out Of Football) movement gathers momentum