I was talking to a girl in a pub the other night and I said “You remind me of my little toe!”
She said “Is that because I’m small and cute?” I replied “No, it’s because I’ll probably end up banging you on the coffee table when I get home”
My Uncle died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for the Paramedics to give him a blood transfusion.
Right til the end he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard to with him not around.
Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my a**e!
Do you think I should change dentists?......
I went to Doctors the other day and explained that I keep seeing Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Minnie Mouse, Daisy Duck & Pluto.
He said he thinks I'm having Disney spells.