JB

I enjoyed reading that. Well done :-)

The Dell Cafe Bar would naturally become the pre-match lounge for all high ranking card holders. World class Spa facilities, including a sports massage zone with a celebrity Club physio. Offering complimentary snacks, alcoholic and non alcoholic beverages, newspapers, and a 3 in 1 copier, scanner and fax machine, the CorteseCoin Comfort Lounge has everything the busy executive Saints fan requires. *Entry available to Platinum CorteseCoin Card holders only. Terms and conditions apply.

I

It was like going on a school trip but with more helicopters and less vodka.

Obviously a bit useless if you need something that charges your iStuff though :-)

Recently bought an iMaingo X to take on holiday and use out and about. The sound is really good and it's more versatile than a normal docking station. I think it was £69 from Amazon.

The Robin Hood in Durley is v good.

It's the Noodle place next door.

I had my iPad jailbroken.

Michael McIntryre gets a hard time, he is perfect for the BBC at the moment, nice, happy and mainstream. He is not unfunny though, just a bit uncool. All of the other less (financially) successful comedians like to have a pop at him including my favourite Stewart Lee, who plays to smaller crowds 'who get him' so doesn't sell many DVDs. His stuff with Armando Ianucchi on BBC2 was brilliant. Jimmy Carr seems to have it sorted, strikes the balance, decent bloke as well.

Wait until the Big Scary Spending Review comes, everyone will be on the rob, especially elderly cold people. Drive by Mobility scooter crime is going to spiral out of control.

The funniest man in the world sits behind me. He likes to keep us all entertained for the full 90 minutes, speaking loudly so we don't miss anything. Particular highlights today were about how he paid £50 for a pair of glasses he leaves in his car. Luckily he's also an expert on football, as well as being really, really funny. It's almost got to the point now where I'm going to turn my seat round to just watch him for the duration of the match.

Seems to have been some confusion over the trouble in the Northam. One of their yoof, 64 year old Ernest Watkins, had his tartan uni-slipper taken away by a steward as it had tripped one of their older lads, Cyril Potts (102). Cyril, sadly suffered a broken flask in the incident and got a bit upset. The 'throat slitting' signs were believed to have been a message to one of the more mobile members of their firm who was off to the concourse, 'no Bovril for Harry, he's just had a tracheotomy'.

You've got it in one Tractor_Saint. Turkish is an alcohol guzzling, shift working, Thai bride beating, Phil Collins listener who doesn't even know the name of Saints' kit man.

It's in Eastleigh, but the Guzel Bistro is very good. It's Turkish, the country not the c*nt.