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saintbletch

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  1. It was the come on my back tattoo, wasn't it? See you Tuesday.
  2. THE Cat, you haven't replied to the invitation text. You might need to get in quick as we're nearly at 10. BTW, I did see that tattoo on your backside in the showers after the game. But due to the Teutonic font, and the fact I wasn't wearing my glasses, I assumed it was an invitation for strangers to dump love-gloy on your back. It was a kind offer, but with 20/20 vision now reinstated, I'm glad I didn't take you up on it.
  3. Crab Lungs, you (and your limited pulmonary system) have a PM!
  4. Hi Sue, I've tried to send you a PM but I'm told that you've chosen not to receive PMs. Perhaps you (or I) have too many PMs? I remember that always used to be a problem on here.
  5. Next game is next Tuesday 15th - if we can get the numbers. Shout if you are interested.
  6. Match report from last night's 'match'. 5 v 5 with a rolling sub and a really close game between the bibs and the skins. Skins rode out 13-9 winners, although there is some doubt amongst the group that I got that 100% right. But as the Bletcheree's decision is final, that is the official score. (it was actually 10-9 to the skins after the regulation 60 mins, but they pulled away in drinking time). Nice to meet THE Cat who has increased the skill quotient nearly as much as he increased the 'knees of an ostrich quotient. Also, unlike the stories that pap tells us about those from The Other Place, he had neither Combat 18 tattoos nor 6 fingers. (Oh **** I hope that is true). I was my usual assured self in front of goal (keeping) but left no banjo splinters in the frame of the bibs' goal. The RaleighBoy got the yips in front of goal too, and couldn't even control the simplest of throat passes by the end of the night. Moment of the night was The Flyd Cat getting the ball kicked in his face from The Eleventh Man's errant shot. He staggered like he'd taken a punch. Just me? Goal of the night came from our senior member (johnH - he's from The Wales isn't it) who walked through our tight and regimented defence like a Welsh John Barnes against a ****ter Brazil, to tuck the ball coolly into the corner. We'll shoot for next week and see if we can get the numbers. Toke's a ****.
  7. Well you certainly like to be courted, you tart. How can I turn that might into a will? Your crustacean pulmonary abilities will give you an advantage over most of us? Has that swung it? Let me know. Next game is Tuesday 1st.
  8. A body-check (shoulder to shoulder might be difficult depending on your height!) is in the rules. It's a carpeted indoor surface so any grippy shoe would work. I wear astroturf trainers and they work ok. Although I'm hoping my latent talent starts to kick in and I get the chance to wear a pair of Nike Mercurial Superfly. At the moment the delta between talent and appearance would be too great. It is a pretty unforgiving surface and I it doesn't have a lot of give. Come the summer we might play outside. If you do fancy a run-out/walk-out, and do manage to get off that commode, let me know. BTT will be there to wipe arses.
  9. Drop me a note never the time, AussieDog. Two important facts that may influence attendance... Firstly, you don't have to sign up to the world's 5th* biggest (but most self-congratulatory and back slapping) Saints' forum in order to play. I just need a mobile number/email to invite you. Secondly, you are very unlikely to come into contact with pap on a Tuesday night**. His penguin hips and DNA mean that he plays the role of a doting emperor penguin - by waddling around with the ball between his feet. Instead, he stays at home in Liverpool, wearing a sheepskin coat, barking managerial instructions to me via a secure telephone line. *sotonians.com is just behind Burkina Faso Saints. **our research suggests that pap is like marmite - you either hate him or you think he's a complete ****.
  10. Lol. And those two facts qualify you for a place in the first team squad on any Tuesday night. If you find yourself back in God's own county at a loose end, let me know. Your but-wiping abilities will make a change from the Goat's insistence on wiping other people's arses. I mean, it's a nice touch, but not during the game.
  11. Hi BTT! Hope all's well with you. Fair enough. If I become football-gay, or I can't sleep you'll be the first to know, Tim. If you change your mind, and you're as fit as that post makes you sound, then come along. I'm looking for a b!tch to do my running for me.
  12. Most people that come along say that they will play in goal, then they see the glory of the open goal, staffed only by a bloke with dodgy ankles, and they roll back the years whilst making a mental note to buy some NSAID at the chemists on the way home. Seriously, if you fancy it give me a shout. Hope all's well.
  13. Oh, and just so you know, at least one* brave solider from this parish has signed up to sing Xmas songs and play footy in the no-man's land between the forums. x *So, that's one then, Bletch? Yep.
  14. There's nothing inocuous about our 5-a-side's whelkster. We've had an expulsion fracture of the ankle, a fractured ankle and a ripped arse* already. You're welcome if you change your mind. You can even do the walking football with us - you won't look out of place. *He says it was a ripped glute muscle, but as it happened in the toilets after the game, I'm not swallowing that.
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