Bringing home the bacon...

Has anyone tried to smuggle British bacon back to Expatland? I've chickened out all these years, but this time I'm doing it, I think.

So, what's the cheekiest thing you've ever got through customs...anyone been caught? What happened?

In the old days you weren't allowed to bring Video Tapes into this place unless they had been censored. Got turned over with a season worth of Red Dwarf Tapes. Try explaining Cat to some bloke with a gun saying What This?

Went to Pakistan on business to take local clients to a Pak v England Test match. I took a bottle of Malt for the partner who had arranged everything. Customs serached and said "This not allowed".. Lengthy form filling and the word "Cricket" was mentioned.

The customs guy showed me the confiscation register, while laughing. The name above me had a receipt for an identical bottle - the name and signature was Sir Geoffrey Boycott. We lol'd and I avoided the fine.

Mate flew in to Dubai on vacation with his GF. They were staying at one of the beach hotels.

They found her "personal satisfaction device".

The guy searching the bags called the supervisor, who called the manager, who called the other officers over.

Apparently they all stood around waving it in the air and asking for an explanation as to what it was and what it did. (In front of around 150 other BA Passengers in the queue.)

They didn't stay here as long as planned, apparently there was bit of a "What the feck did you need that for on holiday?".... "Well, it was better than...."

We lol'd

My mum accidentally left some lunch in one of our bags going through American customs. Needless to say the Americans made a massive deal of it, they thought we were smuggling banana's in/out the country. So much fuss for one banana.

This woman got done for smuggling peanuts. I wouldn't risk it.

Has anyone tried to smuggle British bacon back to Expatland? I've chickened out all these years, but this time I'm doing it, I think.

 

So, what's the cheekiest thing you've ever got through customs...anyone been caught? What happened?

I took a (unused and decorative) Opium pipe and a book called 'Inside the Soviet Army' (complete with a picture of a clockwork Russian tank on the cover) through Moscow customs in 1983 - height of the cold war. Only took 14 hours to get out. Book confiscated, pipe not.

Had an argument once with an officious customs official over the tax on a bottle of brandy that was bought in Andorra which is not in the EU.

My mate does it all the time, but thats within EU

Back when I first emigrated, I used to bring back loads of stuff like that every time. I even had to unpack my hand luggage at customs once once, which was packed with bacon and other stuff. It was at the England end though, never got stopped in Norway, which is non-EU. Never bother now though.

Back when I first emigrated, I used to bring back loads of stuff like that every time. I even had to unpack my hand luggage at customs once once, which was packed with bacon and other stuff. It was at the England end though, never got stopped in Norway, which is non-EU. Never bother now though.

I do this too. The bacon in England is so terrible I can't stand the stuff. Give me American bacon every time.

Oscar Meyers American Bacon - Hearty Sliced. Knocks 7 bells of sh1t out of ENglish bacon for flavour, but does tend to get a little Tooooo crispy if cooked properly.

The cheapest Bacon here is from Kenya - Farmers Choice. About 2.25 for 200g of Back bacon. It's meh, on the just about acceptable side of OK.

Shops sell Walls & iceland Bacon normally it's 5 quid for a pack of Iceland's bargain 1 quid bacon so we stick to the frozen frozen.

We don't bring bacon back "home" to here, but I DO bring home cheese.

Stilton here is 45 quid a kilo, so if in London I get Harrods potted stuff at about 25 quid (What a bargain!) a kilo or Salisbury Market whole round stiltons at about 7.50 a kilo. Last two times have brought back BOGOFF packs of Extra Mature Cheddar - 600g in UK cost about 6 quid. Here 1 kg costs about 30 quid.

Tinned proper Pate from France I bring and also Saucisse de Toulon and Salamis from Borough Market from time to time.

Local Farmers Choice Bangers are far better than Walls or anyone else and the shops make nice Cumberland Lincolnshire, Cheese & leek and all that stuff.

Mind you I have on more than one occassion snuck some Australian or New Zealand Beef Joints or RibEye Steaks back into Blighty. Now they ARE worth smuggling compared to the British (& Irish) rubbish

I don't think it's worth the risk LV. They can fine you big time and they need the money!

Find your local British shop and buy it from them - plus plenty of other stuff.

I regularly bring back cheese, biscuits, tea and other things but would stop at bacon.

I also like to bring Branston pickle but you have to be careful with it and double pack in plastic bags as it doesn't like to fly. I found this out by opening my bag and thinking a small dog had pooped in my bag!!

Not sure if you have Fairway supermarkets/grocery stores in CA but they've recently begun stocking British chocolate.

I also found Branston Pickle in a couple of other shops here but its marked up in price ridiculously. It makes it very tempting to start an import business for Britsnacks.

The only thing I really miss being able to get is Nurophen+ (the ones from behind the counter with codeine in them). The USA painkillers are poor in comparison.

Food, beer etc - I'm quite happy with what I can get here. $6 for a bottle of salad cream just ain't worth it. A $2 bottle of Ranch does the job just as well.

6 bottles of Old Speckled Hen or 18 bottles of Budweiser. Same price. 6 or 18? Give me the 18 any day.

Just got back from Blighty and can recommend Anadin Extra instead of nurophen. It's got caffeine too, which helps for those mornings after....

Try and see if you can have it mailed to you.

There are quite a few warehouse type Brit stores in LA that you may want to buy on-line from. Good prices and they stock more than just the usual tea and biscuits.

Anyone a fan of Rennies? Always make sure I've got a good supply. Rollaids and Tums just don't cut it.

I didn't bring any bacon home btw. I chickened out. Will see if the local Brit market has any though, if it's still open.

Anyone a fan of Rennies? Always make sure I've got a good supply. Rollaids and Tums just don't cut it.

I didn't bring any bacon home btw. I chickened out. Will see if the local Brit market has any though, if it's still open.

Never bothered when I worked in Geneva, too much hassle. Just used to pay the extra from the local Brit supermarket. Carrefour and a couple of other large chains caught on though and started stocking all sorts of world foods in their own aisle as Tesco now do.

Not sure if you have Fairway supermarkets/grocery stores in CA but they've recently begun stocking British chocolate.

 

I also found Branston Pickle in a couple of other shops here but its marked up in price ridiculously. It makes it very tempting to start an import business for Britsnacks.

There's 2 within a block of each other in the West Village...

Tea and Sympathy

Myers of Keswick

I've got a photo on my phone of a bottle of ribena with £1.99 printed on the label on sale for $7.99!

Just had a visit from the folks leaving me a care package with 2 Branston Pickle, multipack of Frazzles, Curlie Wurlies, Crunchies, Double Deckers, Monster Munch (bleurgh) lots of roll on deodorant which is hard to find here, and a pretty tea casket for my girlfriend. Pretty happy with that lot. Wondering if I should post some of it to eBay to avoid me eating the entire stash in one sitting...

Monster Munch (bleurgh)

bleurgh....? Yum. What flavour were they? I'll buy.

Any pork scratchings? (drool)

Ha- pork scratchings, now there's a decidedly hairy fried-pig flashback. Multipack- not sure they'd last the flight to Vegas... Actually, I'm going to look into postage - if its not crazy I'll send them along.

Ha- pork scratchings, now there's a decidedly hairy fried-pig flashback. Multipack- not sure they'd last the flight to Vegas... Actually, I'm going to look into postage - if its not crazy I'll send them along.

You know what, I'll live without them...I was more surprised you poo-poo'ed them (so to speak). Thanks for the offer though mate!

FYI. Tried to PM you but you're 'registered', so could not.

Sorry mate, no idea what registered status means and if it involves paying I'm not interested - I used to be a member and donate etc but the in-fighting, stupid posts and replies whenever anyone posted to the main board got boring. Additionally I attempted to change my password and was informed my email address, and alternative email address was blocked - so I emailed the admins on 3 or 4 occasions for assistance and haven't had a response - this was 3-4 months ago. In order to login I've needed to change my password each time which is a procedure. I've switched back to reading Saintslist - more civilized, fewer ******s and egotists. I'm only on here once or twice a week and perhaps matchdays.

I'll probably be taking a few packets of bacon back to Dubai with me and bottles of red and white vinegar, which you can't get here at all. Hope the series 7 of Shameless doesn't get picked out for a viewing before they let it in ...

Big LOL going back into UK a few years ago.

I was travelling back ahead of Mrs EoA, so when I'd finished packing and the suitcase was still half empty I offered to take some of her stuff so she'd have a light suitcase to manage without me to help. Consequently her stuff was on top, and when I got hauled over by customs and asked all the usual questions like where have you come from, how long you staying, are you travelling on your own ...' yes ' .... and the suitcase gets opened to reveal high heeled shoes, knickers, stockings and a fake fur coat ..... he gave me a of course sir when I said they were MRS Eoas and she was travelling later.... :blush:

At Birmingham airport I had my hand luggage riffled through and i'd put some of my clothes in there (all neatly folded) and asked her to fold them back up neatly as she'd found them. What a humourless b1tch she was. I was not happy.

Saw an overly camp bloke have some handcuffs confiscated off him whilst going through the hand luggage scanner once. How embarrassing.

When Mum said she was picking some up for the annual care package of Britsnacks, I had this fantastic flashback to rhubarb and custard hard sweets.. but alas I have to report that the Jammie Dodgers with Custard are not great, and taste really artificial. Perhaps my tastebuds have mellowed over time, getting older and living with a different diet in the US but I also don't particularly enjoy Monster Munch. Frazzles are still out of this world and I salivate just thinking about them. Enough distraction and positivity, time to sit in front of PC hoping Saints can pull off a win.