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My Real Name is Brian Earsy


Bearsy

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I was having sex in a graveyard, post deed I was trying to sign up for this very website but hit a stumbling block when choosing a username. I looked up at the gravestone I had been slamming my bird under and there I saw it: Percy Windham Born 1765 Died 1769. In tribute to that special man I am now he. God rest ye tiny chap.

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That's an in-joke! Me and Tokyos do in-jokes now! We is like having our own little club!

 

I was having sex in a graveyard, post deed I was trying to sign up for this very website but hit a stumbling block when choosing a username. I looked up at the gravestone I had been slamming my bird under and there I saw it: Percy Windham Born 1765 Died 1769. In tribute to that special man I am now he. God rest ye tiny chap.

 

We learned bout him in school, he died of a grossly disfiguring and highly contagious knob disease. You is probably having it now!

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Real first name is Paul, which is an inconvenient name to whack in a 1980s arcade highscore table. You can't really put PAU as it has a weak ending. PAL was out too. What if someone saw you entering PAL into an arcade machine? They may think you're a sad-case trying to befriend it.

 

Thus, pap became my chosen name in lights whenever I marked my territory in an arcade. No one else seemed to use it or want it, probably because the dictionary definition is:-

 

Material lacking real value or substance

 

And another is:-

 

worthless or oversimplified ideas; drivel

 

I figure if I can coast just above those definitions, I'm over-achieving.

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Real first name is Paul, which is an inconvenient name to whack in a 1980s arcade highscore table. You can't really put PAU as it has a weak ending. PAL was out too. What if someone saw you entering PAL into an arcade machine? They may think you're a sad-case trying to befriend it.

 

Thus, pap became my chosen name in lights whenever I marked my territory in an arcade. No one else seemed to use it or want it, probably because the dictionary definition is:-

 

Material lacking real value or substance

 

And another is:-

 

worthless or oversimplified ideas; drivel

 

I figure if I can coast just above those definitions, I'm over-achieving.

 

Lols if I'd been guessing all day I wouldn't of come up with dat!

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I can only count in Base 9 and Walcott used to be my favourite player.

 

Then in base 9 you'd only get to the number 8 I'm afraid. You should really be known as The10. Sorry The9. Well, sorry The10 actually.

 

saintbletch? Obvious really. As I'm sure you all know Bletch was beatified by the Roman Catholic church in 1548 and is the patron saint of pompousness, pretentiousness, pedantry and donkeys.

 

His was a sad and regretfully short life. He was afflicted by the annoying desire to intervene and correct people in the conversations he would hear in the taverns of his native Ávila. He was obssessed with correcting grammatical errors and righting moral wrongs. He was understandably routinely beaten for this behaviour until one day, having tried to intervene in a dispute over the radix of the number 9, he was thrown from a church tower to a painful death. He was 29.

 

His feast day is July 18th where in central Spain donkeys are pushed out of church towers in his honour.

 

Why did I choose the name? Some people say that I resemble a donkey from some angles.

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My real name is Charlie Untface, it used to be Fred Ucking-c-unt.

 

Similar to pap actually. My real name is Deano, but on the arcade games you can only put in 3 letters, so I used "Dea", unafraid of the weak ending. Then during my formative years I often went for long, barren periods without being able to secure myself any nookie. As I used to cry myself to sleep staring down at my pathetic, limp cock and my all-too eager supersperms which had fallen to their two-ply nightmare, I would console myself with the comforting line "Dea, no sex tonight lolz!". It evolved from there.

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I had the misfortune of living in Australia when I joined but now I am living in District 9 aka Johannesburg I should be something more bad ass like "The Hijack Kid" or "Gunsforshowknivesforapro".

 

Or I could just call myself Nelson or Simba but they dont sound cool, actually f*ck it I am gonna look into changing it to Rorkesdrift or Zulusr****.

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  • 1 month later...

My username was foisted on me by a so-called mate. He kept bleating on about another forum and how I'd enjoy it, (no, it wasn't a porn site,) and I kept saying "yeah yeah, I'll sign up whenever" blablah. So the c*nt simply opened an account and had the confirmation email sent to me. When I asked him why he had picked the name "Scotty", he replied that, and I quote, "well you look like a Scotty". I have never received a satisfactory explanation of this, I'm not ginger, not scottish, and I dont look like a scottie dog.

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