Gazza - the comedy keeper

That's it, Front Sweeper.

 

Get that on board right now, Nige. But, hang on. We need to get "Seabs" back from Charlton first; he's the only man that can do it. Unless we bring big Radhi out of retirement, of course, which should never be discounted.

I'd prefer to play seabs in a role known as the "front striker" just ahead of Lambert in a 4 3 1 1 1

Come on he's nowhere near being a premier league keeper yet. He's made key errors in 3 of the last 4 games plus he looks nervous and unsure the rest of the time. Bring back Kelvin until we buy a replacement in...

But Kelvins errors are so predictable. Everyone and their dogs know that you can beat him at the near post, everyone knows he just cannot catch the ball first time ever and everyone can see he doesn't move for the ball often.

Just makes him a joke in goal in the prem because any striker worth their place should beat him repeatedly.

Only defence for Gazza over the other two is his mistakes haven't been consistent, so as long as his mistakes are random he'll keep the place because he is still learning...

But Kelvins errors are so predictable. Everyone and their dogs know that you can beat him at the near post, everyone knows he just cannot catch the ball first time ever and everyone can see he doesn't move for the ball often.

 

Just makes him a joke in goal in the prem because any striker worth their place should beat him repeatedly.

 

Only defence for Gazza over the other two is his mistakes haven't been consistent, so as long as his mistakes are random he'll keep the place because he is still learning...

His mistakes being random is worse. It's not just 1 part of his game that isn't great.

Swansea - poor pass - poor concentration/decision making. And he spilled a couple.

QPR - caught in no mans land - poor on crosses - poor decision making. And he spilled a couple.

Norwich - terrible positioning of the wall - fumbled the shot (poor technique).

Newcastle - made 1 world class save, but to be honest, over the course of a season even Tommy Nofingers Forecast would.

So, it looks like he needs to improve his decion making, ability to deal with crosses, concentration, technique and handling. Doesn't exactly fill you with confidence does it.

It's very cruel (too cruel for my likes) to describe any 20 year old novice keeper as a joke, but it's is manifestly obvious his errors are costing us points we just can't afford. If I were making this difficult call Kelvin would be back PDQ - I expect however that Gazza will start against Liverpool.

As for his inconsistency being some kind of perverse asset, surely the essence of the goal keepers craft is that they are consistent.

This is a decent summary I'd say. However I would say that Clyne is more than a reasonable acquisition. He's just behind Gaston for me for signing of the summer

REALLY? Remeber Bales goal against us for Tottenham? Let's slate the youngster for his inexperience in not getting to the bounce of the ball! And as for Shaw, people lawding him up on here, unbelievable, he let the Norwich player cut inside, and lunged in for a tackle (with the wrong foot) almost gave away a penalty and yet, it was from that free kick which they scored their only goal from! Then, you have Gaston, dwelt on the ball too long and too many tricks in his own half cost us the game against WBA!

So, let'sw rake all our young players over the coals, let's castrate them early so they fear playing in front of us. Let's makie them so self doubting that their careers end here and now!

You lot make me puke. Results for us since Gazza has stayed in goal since Boruc throw a wobbly against Spuds, have been excellent. Taht's not because of Gazza, it's because the team help each other out. Without Cork back, no matter who we had in goal, from Kelvin to Forster, we would have shipped more goals. If Fox could've stepped up, we wouldn't need to expose Shaw to this level, he makes mistakes, he does. BUT, he is learning and you can see the ability, nobody is doubting this, but, he was the person who lost his man, lunged in and conceded the free kick from which the goal came. THIS WAS A MISTAKE! This is the same level of mistake for a defender as Gazza made from that resulting free kick. Let's put it into perspective and support the bloody team for crying out loud you miserable bunch of so and so's!!!!!!!!!!!!!

REALLY? Remeber Bales goal against us for Tottenham? Let's slate the youngster for his inexperience in not getting to the bounce of the ball! And as for Shaw, people lawding him up on here, unbelievable, he let the Norwich player cut inside, and lunged in for a tackle (with the wrong foot) almost gave away a penalty and yet, it was from that free kick which they scored their only goal from! Then, you have Gaston, dwelt on the ball too long and too many tricks in his own half cost us the game against WBA!

 

So, let'sw rake all our young players over the coals, let's castrate them early so they fear playing in front of us. Let's makie them so self doubting that their careers end here and now!

 

You lot make me puke. Results for us since Gazza has stayed in goal since Boruc throw a wobbly against Spuds, have been excellent. Taht's not because of Gazza, it's because the team help each other out. Without Cork back, no matter who we had in goal, from Kelvin to Forster, we would have shipped more goals. If Fox could've stepped up, we wouldn't need to expose Shaw to this level, he makes mistakes, he does. BUT, he is learning and you can see the ability, nobody is doubting this, but, he was the person who lost his man, lunged in and conceded the free kick from which the goal came. THIS WAS A MISTAKE! This is the same level of mistake for a defender as Gazza made from that resulting free kick. Let's put it into perspective and support the bloody team for crying out loud you miserable bunch of so and so's!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is it that I wrote which prompted this rant?!

John; I suggest you step away from the computer; quickly. Maybe go out for a walk or something, at least do something to calm yourself down.

"You lot make me puke".

Seriously, if you're going to get this rattled about some random throwaway comments then I'd perhaps suggest that message boards are not for you.

I thought Gazza looked very confident and assured in his first couple of games for us. Since coming back after being dropped he's not looked quite as good. However I still think he's our best keeper. It wasn't until Gazza came in that I realised how bad Kelvin's kicking is.

It took Kelvin quite a while before he looked convincing for us, he used to make howler after howler (i.e Ray Jones' goal etc). I think Gazza will learn from his mistakes and be a better keeper for them.

Is there a thread on the Wigan fans forums slating Al Habsi for his clanger that permitted Balotelli to score and asking for him to be immediately dropped ? And how about this recent thread on a WHU forum - "Jussi Jaaskelainen - sponsored by Lurpak ".

Personally I'd stick with Gazzaniga. Confidence comes with playing - look at the way Fonte is playing now as compared to the start of the season - how many goals did our error-prone CBs cost us ?

True, that smack head Derry wanted to play Dan Seaborne as a "front sweeper", crabbing from left to right with only 2 midfielders and three strikers to cure our ills.

There is only one man equiped to do this job. Jonno Quick. With his pace he could sprint from left to right covering for everyone, for long balls forward or in behind the full backs he'd be able to sprint past the full back and attacking player and get to the ball first. He'd also be a great attacking option as we could hump the ball high into the air and long and with his lightening pace he could run onto it, between the centre halves and be in on goal, much like a rugby player does with a kick forward.

gazza has been on goal against the worst teams we have played...and still looks dodgy as hell

There is only one man equiped to do this job. Jonno Quick. With his pace he could sprint from left to right covering for everyone, for long balls forward or in behind the full backs he'd be able to sprint past the full back and attacking player and get to the ball first. He'd also be a great attacking option as we could hump the ball high into the air and long and with his lightening pace he could run onto it, between the centre halves and be in on goal, much like a rugby player does with a kick forward.

You see, it's foresight and vision like this which Adkins is lacking which is why he's clearly out of his depth in the prem. The more I think about this, the more and more complete sense it would make. If we had Jonno as the front sweeper, we could for example commit everyone forwards at corners and if the ball was cleared to half way, Jonno would be able to sprint back and mop up and then pump it back forwards, probably getting on the end of it himself to volley into the top corner.

Gazzaniga has made mistakes and he needs to learn from them and fast.

I simply cannot believe how many people think that Davis will be any better, when he's already proven twice over he isn't anywhere near good enough for the PL, and has made basic errors himself.

As for Boruc, unless the goalkeeping coaches can work wonders with him and he loses weight, he certainly doesn't deserve to replace Gazza either because he hasn't been any better.

Gazzaniga has made mistakes and he needs to learn from them and fast.

 

I simply cannot believe how many people think that Davis will be any better, when he's already proven twice over he isn't anywhere near good enough for the PL, and has made basic errors himself.

 

As for Boruc, unless the goalkeeping coaches can work wonders with him and he loses weight, he certainly doesn't deserve to replace Gazza either because he hasn't been any better.

how can you say boruc has not been better when he has not made monumental howlers

REALLY? Remeber Bales goal against us for Tottenham? Let's slate the youngster for his inexperience in not getting to the bounce of the ball! And as for Shaw, people lawding him up on here, unbelievable, he let the Norwich player cut inside, and lunged in for a tackle (with the wrong foot) almost gave away a penalty and yet, it was from that free kick which they scored their only goal from! Then, you have Gaston, dwelt on the ball too long and too many tricks in his own half cost us the game against WBA!

 

So, let'sw rake all our young players over the coals, let's castrate them early so they fear playing in front of us. Let's makie them so self doubting that their careers end here and now!

 

You lot make me puke. Results for us since Gazza has stayed in goal since Boruc throw a wobbly against Spuds, have been excellent. Taht's not because of Gazza, it's because the team help each other out. Without Cork back, no matter who we had in goal, from Kelvin to Forster, we would have shipped more goals. If Fox could've stepped up, we wouldn't need to expose Shaw to this level, he makes mistakes, he does. BUT, he is learning and you can see the ability, nobody is doubting this, but, he was the person who lost his man, lunged in and conceded the free kick from which the goal came. THIS WAS A MISTAKE! This is the same level of mistake for a defender as Gazza made from that resulting free kick. Let's put it into perspective and support the bloody team for crying out loud you miserable bunch of so and so's!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The thing is all those players you have mentioned have already proved themselves better than their potential replacements. Shaw has already shown himself to be way better than Fox and will improve, he has made far less mistakes than Fox and is hearly 10 years his junior. How you think Gaston cost us the game against WBA is beyond me, especially considering he wasn't match fit in that game.

Gazza hasn't proved himself better than the other keepers especially Boruc, it;s not one or two mistakes, it's a catalogue of them and they have cost points.

http://www.saintsweb.co.uk/showthread.php?40881-Gazzaniga-going-on-loan

"it would be a stupid idea, ATM he is our best keeper"

"I agree he is a great keeper. Boruc will be our number one and Kelv is certainly not a bad backup."

"Stupidity. Boruc is fat. Gazza is our best keeper."

"Wish he was still number 1 ....."

"IMHO I was happy with him in goal for us. "

"Disappointed. I much prefer him to Boruc. "

"As disappointing news as Billy going on loan."

".....but as someone had grossly overated the competences of Davis he had to be chucked in at the deep end for a couple of games....."

"I do understand people wanting Gazza in goal instead of Boruc but since NA prefers Boruc at this time I can't understand why anyone would be againt him going out on loan. If anything he gets the chance to proof he's the better goallie."

etc etc etc

how can you say boruc has not been better when he has not made monumental howlers

Because he's been slow, overweight, indecisive and is rumoured to have an attitude problem. It's the last thing we need in our situation when we are battling for survival, especially when our defence has shown so much improvement in the last 5 games.

In all games in October we conceded 11 goals in 4 games, this month we have conceded 5 goals in 5 games. Sure there have been other factors as well but the improvement started just after Boruc was dropped/KD had his chance in the league cup game, and Gazza became our number one.

The defence has started to settle with Gazzaniga in goal, EVEN WITH Gazzaniga's mistakes directly costing us goals. Over the last month we've conceded far less goals than we have earlier in the season, and changing the goalkeeper now for either Boruc (see first sentence of this post) or Davis (been found out yet again at this level) will only cause more problems IMO.

All 3 of our keepers aren't good enough at the moment, but there's only one that's showing any kind of promise.

Because he's been slow, overweight, indecisive and is rumoured to have an attitude problem.

All 3 of our keepers aren't good enough at the moment, but there's only one that's showing any kind of promise.

what rumoured attitude problem..? I must have missed that..

have not seen much promise in the one you mention..he has done nothing that any average prem keeper would do...without the howlers

Lets just play Boruc so when he does make a mistake at least it might stop tdd's from banging on.

Lets just play Boruc so when he does make a mistake at least it might stop tdd's from banging on.

keepers make mistakes...but doing absolute shockers every game is no way good enough...no matter how old you are

Lets just play Boruc so when he does make a mistake at least it might stop tdd's from banging on.

I don't think that would do it.

keepers make mistakes...but doing absolute shockers every game is no way good enough...no matter how old you are

Well it hasn't been every game he's played. Unfortunately he's had a few mares lately. Keepers often have a wobble after making a mistake. Reina was having howlers every game at the beginning of the season, Al Habsi has made a few lately as well. The worst thing Adkins can do is drop the lad if he's not confident of the other two otherwise the situation can spiral into an even bigger mess than it is now.

how can you say boruc has not been better when he has not made monumental howlers

He has, first goal at West Ham he has all the time in the world to catch it, second goal should have claimed the ball into the box, second goal against Spurs he rushes out in the most non committal fashion possible leaving anyone to slam it home into an open goal. 3 of his 6 goals conceded he really should have done something about which was just embarrassing and most people seem to have forgotten.

....... and most people seem to have forgotten.

Yes, but as Hoiveld, S Davis, and Fox aren't playing, and Jose has gained confidence, somebody has to be the focus of b!tching.

keepers make mistakes...but doing absolute shockers every game is no way good enough...no matter how old you are

Which Gazzaniga hasn't, so I don't really know what point you are trying to make. That's apart from going on and on about how rubbish you think Gazzaniga is, conveniently forgetting that our other two keepers shouldn't be anywhere near the first team either.

There's a reason why Gazzaniga is our number one keeper, even with his mistakes. Davis and Boruc have so far been complete liabilities and Gazzaniga is the least poor of the 3.

Surely Gazzanigga, like Adkins, should be given time to turn his form around. He probably needs at least 15 games to bed in to the side.

John; I suggest you step away from the computer; quickly. Maybe go out for a walk or something, at least do something to calm yourself down.

 

"You lot make me puke".

 

Seriously, if you're going to get this rattled about some random throwaway comments then I'd perhaps suggest that message boards are not for you.

 

You're probably right, I understand that the likes of you and Turkish and the rest only come here for a wind up, whereas people like me, a ST holder for many, many years accept our current position, love the mix of youth and experience, delight in the fact that we're back in the Prem, and would like nothing more for us than to come 4th from bottom. On the other hand, you lot keep rubbishing our future players, slam our encumbent manager and are always defaming our owners.

This board is generally the area where all the non participating fans get together and moan, whereas those of us that are fortunate enough to be able to go to games, see the reality, watch us grow and reep the rewards.

So, I agree...

May have been mentioned elsewhere, but Metro this morning mentioned we were interested in Heurelho Gomes from Spurs.

May have been mentioned elsewhere, but Metro this morning mentioned we were interested in Heurelho Gomes from Spurs.

Glad you filed this in the comedy keeper thread.

He has, first goal at West Ham he has all the time in the world to catch it, second goal should have claimed the ball into the box, second goal against Spurs he rushes out in the most non committal fashion possible leaving anyone to slam it home into an open goal. 3 of his 6 goals conceded he really should have done something about which was just embarrassing and most people seem to have forgotten.

Nobody has forgotten anything, they just think you're wrong.

Surely Gazzanigga, like Adkins, should be given time to turn his form around. He probably needs at least 15 games to bed in to the side.

This

I think all you lot should get off his back, if NA sees him as the future, ill go with his opinion and experience over any of you lot, give the lad a chance.

We score points when he plays and we dont when he doesnt, tough decision! (and he will get better)

Gazza has better stats than Reina (percentage wise)....

[TABLE=width: 1]

[TR]

[TH=class: player1, bgcolor: #DDDDDD, colspan: 2]José Reina[/TH]

[TH=class: hidden, bgcolor: #DDDDDD, align: center]Comparison[/TH]

[TH=class: player2, bgcolor: #DDDDDD, colspan: 2, align: right]Paulo Gazzaniga[/TH]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD=class: player1 image][/TD]

[TD=class: player1]GK[/TD]

[TH=align: center]Position[/TH]

[TD=class: player2, align: right]GK[/TD]

[TD=class: player2 image, align: right][/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD=class: player1]10[/TD]

[TH=align: center]Games played[/TH]

[TD=class: player2, align: right]8[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD=class: player1]900[/TD]

[TH=align: center]Minutes Played[/TH]

[TD=class: player2, align: right]720[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD=class: player1]10[/TD]

[TH=align: center]Starts[/TH]

[TD=class: player2, align: right]8[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD=class: player1]0[/TD]

[TH=align: center] Substitution On [/TH]

[TD=class: player2, align: right]0[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD=class: player1]0[/TD]

[TH=align: center] Substitution Off [/TH]

[TD=class: player2, align: right]0[/TD]

[/TR]

[/TABLE]

• [TABLE=width: 513]
  [TR]
  [TH=class: player1, bgcolor: #DDDDDD, align: center]José Reina[/TH]
  [TH=class: hidden, bgcolor: #DDDDDD, align: center]Comparison[/TH]
  [TH=class: player2, bgcolor: #DDDDDD, align: center]Paulo Gazzaniga[/TH]
  [/TR]
  [TR]
  [TD=class: player1]14[/TD]
  [TH=align: center]Goals Conceded[/TH]
  [TD=class: player2, align: right]11[/TD]
  [/TR]
  [TR]
  [TD=class: player1]64.3[/TD]
  [TH=align: center]Mins per goal conceded[/TH]
  [TD=class: player2, align: right]65.5[/TD]
  [/TR]
  [TR]
  [TD=class: player1]3[/TD]
  [TH=align: center]Clean Sheets[/TH]
  [TD=class: player2, align: right]1[/TD]
  [/TR]
  [TR]
  [TD=class: player1]21[/TD]
  [TH=align: center]Saves[/TH]
  [TD=class: player2, align: right]22[/TD]
  [/TR]
  [TR]
  [TD=class: player1]2.1[/TD]
  [TH=align: center]Saves per 90 minutes[/TH]
  [TD=class: player2, align: right]2.8[/TD]
  [/TR]
  [TR]
  [TD=class: player1]60%[/TD]
  [TH=align: center]Shots saved[/TH]
  [TD=class: player2, align: right]66.7%[/TD]
  [/TR]
  [TR]
  [TD=class: player1]3[/TD]
  [TH=align: center]Catches[/TH]
  [TD=class: player2, align: right]8[/TD]
  [/TR]
  [TR]
  [TD=class: player1]4[/TD]
  [TH=align: center]Punches[/TH]
  [TD=class: player2, align: right]2[/TD]
  [/TR]
  [/TABLE]
  

http://www.liverpoolfc.com/news/latest-news/an-opta-comparison-lfc-v-saints

"At present their bullying of the little guys is keeping their heads above the murkiest water, so they must continue such wedgies and sweet-stealing when Southampton come to visit. Of course, the Saints are on the closest they have come to a 'roll' this season, with two wins and two draws from the last four, so even that won't be stunningly easy.

Still, if they can't score past Paulo Gazzaniga - currently making a very strong play to be the worst goalkeeper in the Premier League - then they really do have problems."

Football 365 - Big Weekend

There is only one man equipped to do this job. Jonno Quick. With his pace he could sprint from left to right covering for everyone

"At present their bullying of the little guys is keeping their heads above the murkiest water, so they must continue such wedgies and sweet-stealing when Southampton come to visit. Of course, the Saints are on the closest they have come to a 'roll' this season, with two wins and two draws from the last four, so even that won't be stunningly easy.

 

Still, if they can't score past Paulo Gazzaniga - currently making a very strong play to be the worst goalkeeper in the Premier League - then they really do have problems."

 

Football 365 - Big Weekend

They're talking out of their buttocks. As per the opta stats above, Gazza lets in less goals per minute played than Reina.

Adkins maintains that we don't have a goalkeeping problem this is what worries me and the fact that he was a goalie and no I'm not saying Adkins out before anyone starts merely stating my opinion. Adkins judgement is totally wrong on this one

Adkins judgement is totally wrong on this one

How many promotions have you managed ?

Which Gazzaniga hasn't, so I don't really know what point you are trying to make. That's apart from going on and on about how rubbish you think Gazzaniga is, conveniently forgetting that our other two keepers shouldn't be anywhere near the first team either.

 

There's a reason why Gazzaniga is our number one keeper, even with his mistakes. Davis and Boruc have so far been complete liabilities and Gazzaniga is the least poor of the 3.

Laughable post to be honest.

Exactly what evidence do you base this comment on "conveniently forgetting that our other two keepers shouldn't be anywhere near the first team either." Boruc has had two games, the first one after not playing for 6 months he didn't do well in and he made mistakes but then so did several defenders so he hardly cost us the points, we lost 4-1. The second he conceded 2 goals neither of which he could have done much about.

How does that make him a "complete liabilities"

If anyone has been a complete liability it's Gazzaniga, even in the clean sheet against Newcastle he almost gave him a goal by holding onto a kick too long and then sending it straight at Ba, at QPR he got away with it becuase they were awful and the rest of the team did so much better, and against Swansea and Norwich he directly cost us 2 points.

But yeh of course Boruc is complete liability from his one bad game comapred to Gazzanigas four What are you on?

And now appratenly he has an attitude problem as well, your deluded comments based on two games not being enough you make something up as well.

Gazzaniga should have bene dropped after the QPR game simple as that.

Boruc really isn't an option, whatever any of us think. He went from first team to our of the squad entirely; so he's clearly massively out of favour in Nigel Adkins' eyes. Its a straight choice between Gazzaniga and Davis (ergo not much of a choice at all).

How many promotions have you managed ?

Totally irrelevant and childish comment you could aim that to anyone that had opinion about any number of issues on this forum I am not a football manager Adkins is

Adkins maintains that we don't have a goalkeeping problem this is what worries me and the fact that he was a goalie and no I'm not saying Adkins out before anyone starts merely stating my opinion. Adkins judgement is totally wrong on this one

Yes because what he should be doing is saying our goalkeepers are shocking andwe will be looking to sign at least one new one in january. Not exactly great man management is it?

Making the best out of a bad situation.

Yes because what he should be doing is saying our goalkeepers are shocking andwe will be looking to sign at least one new one in january. Not exactly great man management is it?

 

Making the best out of a bad situation.

I agree with your summary on this so Adkins is merely saying one thing and thinking another

I agree with your summary on this so Adkins is merely saying one thing and thinking another

We can only assume that, He is not going to to slate any players in the press and ruin any confidence they may have, plus they are all we have till at least january

What was surprising in this latest incident was the size of the wall - only three players. There was a large amount of space on the left-side of the wall (from the kicker's perspective) for the kicker to aim around the wall. Who decides on the size of the wall, anyway? Surely, free-kicks that close to goal, from that angle, require a bigger wall?

What was surprising in this latest incident was the size of the wall - only three players. There was a large amount of space on the left-side of the wall (from the kicker's perspective) for the kicker to aim around the wall. Who decides on the size of the wall, anyway? Surely, free-kicks that close to goal, from that angle, require a bigger wall?

 

Keepers will determine how many in the wall and where it goes. That wall was hopelessly out of position.

The wall was the problem - it left him with too much ground to cover and he didn't get there in time. And yes, it was his responsibility.

But he's not even 21 until January and he's still got a lot of learning to do. Keepers don't peak until their thirties. To write him off as a "clown" is infantile.

I think he needs to get some games under his belt away from the pressures of the PL but let's not forget the frustration voiced (often by the same people) with our other two options.

IMO the solution to this will come in January, not tomorrow.

Totally irrelevant and childish comment you could aim that to anyone that had opinion about any number of issues on this forum I am not a football manager Adkins is

Yet you state categorically that NA, a former goalkeeper, is wrong. Perhaps, as he sees all three GKs in training every week, he is making team selections based on experience and observation. It would be stupid to keep dropping the keeper because of a perceived mistake, we'd be in a permanent state of rotating between the 3.

Love how the press doesn't even care about who Gazzaniga is and where he came from. Interesting...

Of course, if it were Butland, Hart or any other english keeper, people would be crying for everyone to give them time and opportunities, because they will make Yashin look like a turd... and all because they have the Bulldog spirit innit! :roll eyes:

It happened to De Gea last season...if only the press had been as demanding with this generation of English football (which brought us Fatty Lampard, Hairy Rooney, Nasty Terry, Flashy Becks, Ash-brain Cole, Sol "botox fetiche" Campbell, the calamity duo of Championship keepers James and Mrs.Robinson and is now nurturing two League One strikers in Porridge and Well-backed) maybe the national team would not be the joke it has become.

Love how the press doesn't even care about who Gazzaniga is and where he came from. Interesting...

Of course, if it were Butland, Hart or any other english keeper, people would be crying for everyone to give them time and opportunities, because they will make Yashin look like a turd... and all because they have the Bulldog spirit innit! :roll eyes:

It happened to De Gea last season...if only the press had been as demanding with this generation of English football (which brought us Fatty Lampard, Hairy Rooney, Nasty Terry, Flashy Becks, Ash-brain Cole, Sol "botox fetiche" Campbell, the calamity duo of Championship keepers James and Mrs.Robinson and is now nurturing two League One strikers in Porridge and Well-backed) maybe the national team would not be the joke it has become.