saintbletch Posted 4 November, 2014 Author Share Posted 4 November, 2014 Unfortunately we found that we were sexually incompatible because she's got a Mini Hatch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 4 November, 2014 Share Posted 4 November, 2014 Granada and Popular … are coming to tea. Unfortunately Granddad and Mom can’t make it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 4 November, 2014 Share Posted 4 November, 2014 Sunbeam Alpine To be honest, I could think of better ways to describe him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 4 November, 2014 Author Share Posted 4 November, 2014 I'm mates with that footballer "Volk", and the other day he and I, his daughter and his bird all went for a drink. Volk and I had a beer, and Volkswagen Sharan each had a Coke. I think I'm going to stop now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 4 November, 2014 Share Posted 4 November, 2014 I think I'm going to stop now. Don't leave me here playing with myself ffs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 4 November, 2014 Author Share Posted 4 November, 2014 I've just had my footballer mate "Volk" on the phone in tears, telling me that his bird has run off with a guitar legend. So it's true about Volkswagen Santana then... [Did I tell you the one about the Volkswagen Tenuous?] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 4 November, 2014 Share Posted 4 November, 2014 I've just had my footballer mate "Volk" on the phone in tears, telling me that his bird has run off with a guitar legend. So it's true about Volkswagen Santana then... [Did I tell you the one about the Volkswagen Tenuous?] On second thoughts, please stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 4 November, 2014 Author Share Posted 4 November, 2014 Apparently "Volk's" bird had a limb wasting disease when she was young. Please keep that to yourself, don't tell anyone about Volkswagen Polo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 4 November, 2014 Author Share Posted 4 November, 2014 On second thoughts, please stop. That's rich coming from you - anal shit mock. I will stop now, as I'm off to the cinema with "Volk" and his bird. When I get back I'll tell you all about Volkswagen Up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 4 November, 2014 Share Posted 4 November, 2014 By the way, what’s the lowdown on Volkswagen-Porsche getting it together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 4 November, 2014 Author Share Posted 4 November, 2014 Dodge Viper. I will, don't you worry. I've never liked snakes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 4 November, 2014 Author Share Posted 4 November, 2014 By the way, what’s the lowdown on Volkswagen-Porsche getting it together? I don't know mon petit "La Shitcok Man", but I did hear that Porsche is looking to grab Volkswagen Bora hole in her. If you know what I mean! *If you do, please tell me as I don't. I am going to stop now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 4 November, 2014 Share Posted 4 November, 2014 I am going to stop now. You win. Can we do something other than cars tomorrow? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 5 November, 2014 Share Posted 5 November, 2014 That's rich coming from you - anal shit mock. I don't know mon petit "La Shitcok Man", Hey, my dog needs to get its end away, can I borrow you for the day "lent as bitch"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 5 November, 2014 Author Share Posted 5 November, 2014 Hey, my dog needs to get its end away, can I borrow you for the day "lent as bitch"? Shut it, "Licks a hot man"! BTW Nobody will beat Owl Flyd's Balti Stench. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 5 November, 2014 Share Posted 5 November, 2014 Shut it, "Licks a hot man"! Get back to Mr Goodman’s ballroom “bitch at lens” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 14 November, 2014 Author Share Posted 14 November, 2014 David Shukman. Did he? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 14 November, 2014 Share Posted 14 November, 2014 John Humphrys? Yes, according to Breakfast Today, Rys enjoyed it very much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 14 November, 2014 Share Posted 14 November, 2014 Justin Webb? Yes, give me 20 minutes or so and I’ll be out again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fowllyd Posted 15 November, 2014 Share Posted 15 November, 2014 Shut it, "Licks a hot man"! BTW Nobody will beat Owl Flyd's Balti Stench. Bart, I am truly honoured (do you mind if I call you Bart? Bartholomew sounds so formal somehow). Incidentally, I did hear that your footballer mate's bird had had a fling with Sir Paul McCartney, but I'm not sure if it's true. Have you heard anything about Volkswagen Beatle? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 16 November, 2014 Author Share Posted 16 November, 2014 Bart, I am truly honoured (do you mind if I call you Bart? Bartholomew sounds so formal somehow). Incidentally, I did hear that your footballer mate's bird had had a fling with Sir Paul McCartney, but I'm not sure if it's true. Have you heard anything about Volkswagen Beatle? I really didn't think anyone else would be 'brave' enough to join in on the tales Volk, his WAG and the carazy things they encounter in their lives. But now you mention it Owly, I've just had a text from Volk telling me that he and his bird have just bought a car that had previously been eaten by a van. Good to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 16 November, 2014 Author Share Posted 16 November, 2014 Oysters Kilpatrick. Do they? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 16 November, 2014 Share Posted 16 November, 2014 Oysters Kilpatrick. I always had you marked down as educated but common Bletch, not part of the bourgeoisie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 16 November, 2014 Author Share Posted 16 November, 2014 I always had you marked down as educated but common Bletch, not part of the bourgeoisie Sorry to disappoint BTT, but I'm barely educated and common I'm afraid. Who else, but a commoner word grill an oyster? Personally, whilst the similarities of the clitoral hood to the raw oyster aren't lost on me, I'm not sure that that sensation should ever be felt sliding down one's throat. It's like some corrupt conflation of cunnilingus and fellatio - only the bourgeoisie would encourage that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 17 November, 2014 Share Posted 17 November, 2014 Pulled pork? Yes, a couple of drinks and my favourite chat-up line worked a treat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 17 November, 2014 Share Posted 17 November, 2014 Lamb chops Good, I’ve got some logs I need halving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 17 November, 2014 Share Posted 17 November, 2014 Chilli Paneer? Well then put your coat on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lets B Avenue Posted 17 November, 2014 Share Posted 17 November, 2014 Lamb Dansak. Why? What did they do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 17 November, 2014 Author Share Posted 17 November, 2014 Met. Police. Did you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 17 November, 2014 Author Share Posted 17 November, 2014 Bird flu. What's so surprising about that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 17 November, 2014 Share Posted 17 November, 2014 Mad Cow Disease Mrs Stickman gets it every month Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 17 November, 2014 Share Posted 17 November, 2014 Stiff neck? Yes, that damn Viagra tablet got stuck in my throat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 17 November, 2014 Share Posted 17 November, 2014 Influenza Just when I thought I’d never see Enza the Eagle ever again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 31 December, 2014 Author Share Posted 31 December, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 5 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 5 February, 2015 Knowledge is power. France is bacon. ...that would make Mrs. Malaprop proud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 5 February, 2015 Share Posted 5 February, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Coxford_lou? I would, but I'd wipe the seat first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 Settle an Argument for me Beltch! I am saying that "bass no treble" means fat arse + small boobs, like Jennifer Lopez or Kim Karcrashian or someone like that, whereas Bird At Work says bass means fat & treble just means thin. Can you look this up in ur Book of Words pls and let me Know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I've answered that one before on page two, Bear. You are indeed correct. The Bletchley Illustrated English Dictionary (co-authored by the Goddess that is Susie Dent), shows this illustration alongside the definition All ass, not tittie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I have consulted the biggest Arse I know, and he says I am perfectly correct! But Meghan Trainor herself says that- Shush! The Arse-man has spoken! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 13 February, 2015 Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I have consulted the biggest Arse I know, and he says I am perfectly correct! HAHAHAHA!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 13 February, 2015 I have consulted the biggest Arse I know, and he says I am perfectly correct! But Meghan Trainor herself says that- Shush! The Arse-man has spoken! URWLCM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 14 April, 2015 Share Posted 14 April, 2015 Two mushrooms walk into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." First mushroom says, "But I'm a 'fun guy.'" Bartender says, "Clever homophonous wordplay aside, I said we don't serve mushrooms." Second mushroom says, "But we're 'fun guys.'" Bartender says, "'Fun guys?' That's not even a homophone." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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