Beef tracker

SaintsWeb is a busy community. While some efforts are undoubtedly made to further the interests of forum peace and harmony, there are rare occasions where a number of posters might bicker for a small while, say three months or forever.

With all the recent success at the club, one worries about what all the Johnny Come Latelies and would-be signups may think of the internecine warfare happening across the boards. They may not know that two particular posters have been fighting like cat and dog since the dawn of time. They may run away screaming.

With that in mind, I think it would be a good idea to keep a track of detected beef in the SaintsWeb belfry. Not only would it be an invaluable source of info for potential new posters, but it could also be a source of something much nobler, such as reconciliation, further man dates and who knows, something to coax bletch out of semi-retirement for an interesting technical challenge ( one word bletch - "beefcloud" ).

Example template beef, riff on it as needs be.:-

pap vs Nolan

Duration of beef: 8 months

Key dispute: relative merits of PS4 vs XBox One

RL Kickoff potential: Zero. Both are obvious geeks that would melt on contact with outside world. They play on different consoles so matter can not be settled gamer-to-gamer.

Estimated time of resolution: November 2019

More info: http://www.saintsweb.co.uk/showthread.php?48502-PS4-or-XBOX-One#.U3Ep5PldXcg

So, list beefs and all you know about who's involved, how they started, and most importantly, how they might be resolved.

I will edit and maintain an active beef list here.

Mods: I know, I know. Kill it if it gets out of hand.

Current forum beefs:-

shurlock vs CB Fry

Both are capable of a "beef on the side", but their feud seems to be the most substantive beef either have got in the oven. Details required.

Tokyo-Saint vs Ludwig

Ludwig thinks Tokyo-Saint got deppo banned. Tokes disagrees and thinks that Ludwig is Verbal's son.

Thought this was going to be another thread about halal tbf.

Thought this was going to be another thread about halal tbf.

No, it's not that at all.

Would you count your confrontations with Turks as a beef, or just an ammonia treated McDs?

No, it's not that at all.

 

Would you count your confrontations with Turks as a beef, or just an ammonia treated McDs?

That's all ancient history now, as soon as I turned 18 Turkish abandoned me to find other chubby kids to pick on

That's all ancient history now, as soon as I turned 18 Turkish abandoned me to find other chubby kids to pick on

Careful now. I've started to watch It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. I know where this originates.

I think it would be a good idea to keep a track of detected beef in the SaintsWeb belfry.

 

I will edit and maintain an active beef list here.

Would all these arguments have a collective noun of Beef Flaps ?

Would all these arguments have a collective noun of Beef Flaps ?

 

Flaps, curtains, whatever. As long as you bring beef to the table.

I have thought of some more established beefs to get this going. Don't know the background, so please feel free to add.

shurlock vs CB Fry

Both are capable of a "beef on the side", but their feud seems to be the most substantive beef either have got in the oven. Details required.

Tokyo-Saint vs Ludwig

Ludwig thinks Tokyo-Saint got deppo banned. Tokes disagrees and thinks that Ludwig is Verbal's son.

Flaps, curtains, whatever. As long as you bring beef to the table.

 

I have thought of some more established beefs to get this going. Don't know the background, so please feel free to add.

 

shurlock vs CB Fry

Both are capable of a "beef on the side", but their feud seems to be the most substantive beef either have got in the oven. Details required.

Tokyo-Saint vs Ludwig

Ludwig thinks Tokyo-Saint got deppo banned. Tokes disagrees and thinks that Ludwig is Verbal's son.

Shurlock/Fry is so tediously dull. It's like two juvenile siblings bickering.

Shurlock/Fry is so tediously dull. It's like two juvenile siblings bickering.

They call each other Small Fry and strawlock, y'know.

It's the SaintsWeb equivalent of trench warfare. One can only hope that they lay down their arms, sing carols and play Word Association at Christmas.

Ludwig is verbal's son isn't he? He is a posh kid from Putney who spouts about being a working class hero while eating a Mediterranean vegetable and humus Gruyere focaccia. He sniped for years about me getting deppo banned, then that was dispelled and now he has moved on to my Achilles's heal, questioning my political views on the sub forum of a provincial football team's message board. Things can only spiral out of control from here.

Ludwig is verbal's son isn't he? He is a posh kid from Putney who spouts about being a working class hero while eating a Mediterranean vegetable and humus Gruyere focaccia. He sniped for years about me getting deppo banned, then that was dispelled and now he has moved on to my Achilles's heal, questioning my political views on the sub forum of a provincial football team's message board. Things can only spiral out of control from here.

I spotted this yesterday. It gave me lols.

what about Turkish the Mong Slayer vs All Mongs?

what about Turkish the Mong Slayer vs All Mongs?

He doesn't argue with everyone, and I'm not sure you could class every argument as a beef.

Turks vs Frank's cousin? That's a potential beef.

I spotted this yesterday. It gave me lols.

Exactly, my right wing views was when I posted that 0 hour contracts are not a bad thing for students. #votebnp #88 #hailhitler #englandfortheenglishandsomealrightjapanese

Exactly, my right wing views was when I posted that 0 hour contracts are not a bad thing for students. #votebnp #88 #hailhitler #englandfortheenglishandsomealrightjapanese

Feck me Tokes I had no idea you were such a far right wing, BNP loving, EDL subscribing tosspot...

"When Britain was an Empire we were ruled by an emperor. When we became a kingdom we were ruled by a king. And now we're a country we're ruled by Call Me Dave"

Exactly, my right wing views was when I posted that 0 hour contracts are not a bad thing for students. #votebnp #88 #hailhitler #englandfortheenglishandsomealrightjapanese

You got any secondary beefs you'd like to mention, Tokes?

Norwaysaint is like an older more boring version of Ludwig. He also missed the bit when the mod (was it skint or justice?) confirmed that I had no part in the banning of deppo so still goes on about that. He might actually know and just keep on about it as part of his boring persona. Both are too part-time to be good nemesis really. Egg once offered to 'take things further' or something similar. I then PM'd him Turkish's seat number and said I would be there bald and immaculately dressed waiting for him. He then posted that I offered to fight him. Egg is a good egg really so no real beef there. Bear is a complete cock obviously but we share a love of S club 7 porn and him and her so that stops things getting out of hand.

A club 7 porn?!! WHERE?!?!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Norwaysaint is like an older more boring version of Ludwig. He also missed the bit when the mod (was it skint or justice?) confirmed that I had no part in the banning of deppo so still goes on about that. He might actually know and just keep on about it as part of his boring persona.

I'm dull, it's true, but for some reason you're still obsessing over two posts I made in reply to you nearly a year ago. I think I've only ever responded to you three times ever, but you've referred to it on a regular basis ever since, so a nerve was well and truly touched, it's unusual for dull things to provoke so much response.

"still goes on about it"? Christ, it's been a year and it was in one post, get over it little man.

Still, I guess if somebody who posts on average once a day can so easily get under the skin of somebody who posts all day every day, there must have been something to it. I certainly remember you *****ing and whining about deppo to get him banned, just because he took the **** out of you, that was before you tried to convince us all of how zany you are though.

Well there's your fix. I've replied to you for the first time this year. I'm sure you'll still be referring to my comments several times a week for the next year until I can be bothered to reply to you again, maybe you'll change your avatar again, or post regularly about being a weasel, or post about me on a thread about feuds.

Bear is a complete cock obviously but we share a love of S club 7 porn and him and her so that stops things getting out of hand.

Morning Tokyo, can you confirm, was there supposed to be a comma there? ie you love 'S club 7' & 'porn'? Or do you have some S club 7 porn? If the latter, please pm me with infos (unless it's the men from S club in which case I'm not so interested). Thanks

Pm you in a bit

A club 7 porn?!! WHERE?!?!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Pay your fiver and you'll get a PM.

I'm dull, it's true, but for some reason you're still obsessing over two posts I made in reply to you nearly a year ago. I think I've only ever responded to you three times ever, but you've referred to it on a regular basis ever since, so a nerve was well and truly touched, it's unusual for dull things to provoke so much response.

 

"still goes on about it"? Christ, it's been a year and it was in one post, get over it little man.

 

Still, I guess if somebody who posts on average once a day can so easily get under the skin of somebody who posts all day every day, there must have been something to it. I certainly remember you *****ing and whining about deppo to get him banned, just because he took the **** out of you, that was before you tried to convince us all of how zany you are though.

 

Well there's your fix. I've replied to you for the first time this year. I'm sure you'll still be referring to my comments several times a week for the next year until I can be bothered to reply to you again, maybe you'll change your avatar again, or post regularly about being a weasel, or post about me on a thread about feuds.

I am obsessed with you? Even here I only mentioned you an an assistant to the regional nemesis as Pap asked. I am sure I could troll through your posts and find snipes but I can't be arsed. I did moan AT deppo when he made jokes about the tsunami. I did not report him and have never reported anyone. A mod recently confirmed this. I may have over reacted calling deppo a cunt, however as members of my wife's family were missing, it was a bit of a stressful time. If me calling him a cunt upset you and you felt you have to spend 3 or 4 years defending your boy crush, I apologise. I am happy to never mention your name again if you do the same.

Yh, thanks tokes.

Boss walks past as "S Club Porn" message flashes on my screen.

KRG had some 'splainin to do there.

You got beef?

Yh, thanks tokes.

 

Boss walks past as "S Club Porn" message flashes on my screen.

 

 

KRG had some 'splainin to do there.

s'alright there are no beef curtains in them there PMs

You got beef?

Wood maybe

Did someone mention Tiger?

No, now piss off back to the hole you just slunk out of.....

Not hole, bunker, One really is not allowed to receive PM's like that without a SWAT team smashing down the doors and sentencing you to death by Subway

LOL (I think that's the term).

Norway owning Toke is always worth a giggle. He's got you like a puppet on a string Toke.

He yanks your cord and you come, running. (Note the comma please Toke. I put a lot of time into that for you).

Nice one Norway! Keep it up.

Re S Club 7, I have seen the pop-porn in question, and I can confirm that Toke has little or no appreciation for the female form.

He is sending round a couple of soft-porn pictures of the one who has a chin like Desperate Dan from The Beano.

Well, I can only assume that it is the one with the chin like Desperate Dan from The Beano, because the camera doesn't dwell on her face.

As for forum beefs, I once got into a tepid dispute on here with Mardinsho (I think! Apologies if I got that wrong). It related to humour and taste, and for a couple of days we struggled to find an understanding for each other's view. It didn't quite come to blows, mind.

But back to pap's OP. If I was to track beefs, it would be Sky TV's F1-covering Natalie Pinkham's

Toke's a ****.

Fresh beef. OP updated.

Tokyo-Saint vs norwaysaint

Tokyo thinks norwaysaint is more boring version of Ludwig. norwaysaint has made a commitment to give Tokyo semi-regular forum slap.

Let me know if you want me to make yours official, bletch.

Bletch is back on the forum! Thank fuck for that. Until I got your PM asking for pics of teenage girls from the 90's, I thought you might have died. I was worried that the last I heard of you was the other begging PM asking where was possible to eat Tokyo. Blubing on about how you love the meat and the way it slips down your throat so effortlessly. I thought you may have over indulged and choked to death.

Desperate Dan from The Beano

you've embarrassed urself there, bletch. Let's not start a beef over it tho.

Bear PM'd me to say that his favorite S clubber is Jon. Every time it says Jon is looking for romance, bear's heart skips a beat and he feels like the only boy in the world. These are all his words on PM, not mine.

tokyos pm'd me one time claiming that Jo was "the 2nd fittest one"!!!!! No jokes!!!!!

This is Jo:

I only know the Asian one Rachael or hannah or whatever, the 'special' one, the one that does porn and Bradley pulling his thing and now bear's crush Jon. That makes the porn one top 2.

what asian one???? Tina looked vaguely latino i spose, Hannah was the cute blonde one, Rachel was widely acknowldged fittest, Jo was on her period as per song lyrics "And Jo, she got the flow". I don't remember the dudes much.

Bletch is back on the forum! Thank fuck for that. Until I got your PM asking for pics of teenage girls from the 90's, I thought you might have died. I was worried that the last I heard of you was the other begging PM asking where was possible to eat Tokyo. Blubing on about how you love the meat and the way it slips down your throat so effortlessly. I thought you may have over indulged and choked to death.

The reports of my death have been somewhat over-egged, I've just been a busy lamb; talking to Texans, parlaying with Portugeezeers and channeling the St. Mary's zeitgeist all the way from twitter to a rectangle about 1170 x 900 pixels.

Anyway, sorry about all those PM requests for pics of teenage girls from the 90's. Had I known your taste was so dreadful, I wouldn't have bothered.

I will acknowledge that Rachel...whatever-her-name-is is the best looking 'burd' from S Club 7, but as for your assertion that the one with the chin like Desperate Dan from The Beano* is the 2nd best looking 'burd' from S Club 7, well I'd have to disagree.

In fact, some of the blokes are better looking than her.

*Might be The Dandy. Sorry Bear.

you've embarrassed urself there, bletch. Let's not start a beef over it tho.

No, let's not throw the cow pie around.

Yeah bear, the fit Asian one that everyone knows is the fittest.

tokyos pm'd me one time claiming that Jo was "the 2nd fittest one"!!!!! No jokes!!!!!

 

This is Jo:

I don't know what you're on about Bear. She looks like a young Pat Butcher.

I don't know what you're on about Bear. She looks like a young Pat Butcher.

Nope, this is how she turned out papster.

Just between you and me, I think Toke has an oedipal thing going on there...

I just googled that bletch (on images as always) and this came up

I resent that, I am not a oni peado!

I just googled that bletch (on images as always) and this came up

 

 

I resent that, I am not a oni peado!

Ask your Mum Toke - just to be sure.

So what's been happening Toke? And what happened to Barry Sanchez? Is he perma-gone?

So what's been happening Toke? And what happened to Barry Sanchez? Is he perma-gone?

This saddens me, even when ur not posting i like to imagine ur still quietly lurking + touching urself.

This saddens me, even when ur not posting i like to imagine ur still quietly lurking + touching urself.

Bear, there's nothing quiet about the act.

if ur genuine not up on the news, barry is permaban & now timeshares on tokyos account. It was the only login where a sudden load of spastic posts would go un-noticed.

I think I need to have a regular beef with somebody. I think I previously bored other contenders into submission and never replaced them. Maybe I'll hold auditions.

if ur genuine not up on the news, barry is permaban & now timeshares on tokyos account. It was the only login where a sudden load of spastic posts would go un-noticed.

Yeah, I follow the logic of giving him access to Toke's account - not only will nobody notice, but nobody reads his posts anyway.

What did Brash 'en Crazy do to get a ban? (I mean, if he survived as long as he did, he must have eaten metaphorical babies and takens shits in the mouths of angels to get the mods to act.)

We had a whole funeral service specifically so we wouldn't have to go round every poster telling them individually. Read it you lazy bletch & add ur own floral tribute!