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Ridiculous Add Ons


St Chalet

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Simon Peach was quoted as saying that the Liverpool bid for Lallana contained 'ridiculous add-ons'. This got be thinking what he could mean by this. I will kick off:

 

10 Scouse supporters being able to pronounce his name without sounding like they'd had a stroke.

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10 grand for everytime he says "you know" in an interview.

 

Got some mates that do that, y'know. It's a shame, y'know, cos, y'know, they sound like f**king idiots that y'know, fill air with y'know, meaningless fluff.

 

Y'know.

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An undisclosed fee every time he makes the papers after being snapped in massage parlours.

 

When a fee cannot be decided, a tribunal consisting of pimps, madams and Wayne Rooney will have final say.

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£1 million every time he says "I can only see my future lying with Liverpool Football Club."

 

£10 million for every time he says "If someone was to say that I'd end my career playing for Liverpool in the Premier League then I'd snap your hand off for it"

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Woah, we'd best line up that Messi bid. Minted.

 

£1m per mm of beard fluff.

Looks like he has bought a stick on beard for the world cup, its long and a different colour. Amazing what that Miami air can do to a bloke.
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a potential Lallana deal (with Liverpool) will look like another version of the Lambert deal.

 

Extra payments for apps.....goals scored and /or future international apps. Think this is to get around the " sell-on " clauses they both have.

 

Bristol Rovers are to get 25% of the Lambert fee, but one of the original stories I read suggested the fee was closer to £8-10 million. This way Rovers will get £1 million instead of a potential £2 -2.5M.

 

Lallana 's deal is much the same. Bournemouth stand to get a hefty sum in any case, but 20%/25% of a £25 million fee would lower Saints´profit on the deal to less than £20 million. He's worth more.

 

Had it not been for the sell-on clause, I think we might have accepted Liverpool's £20 million from the start.

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a potential Lallana deal (with Liverpool) will look like another version of the Lambert deal.

 

Extra payments for apps.....goals scored and /or future international apps. Think this is to get around the " sell-on " clauses they both have.

 

Bristol Rovers are to get 25% of the Lambert fee, but one of the original stories I read suggested the fee was closer to £8-10 million. This way Rovers will get £1 million instead of a potential £2 -2.5M.

 

Lallana 's deal is much the same. Bournemouth stand to get a hefty sum in any case, but 20%/25% of a £25 million fee would lower Saints´profit on the deal to less than £20 million. He's worth more.

 

Had it not been for the sell-on clause, I think we might have accepted Liverpool's £20 million from the start.

 

How does that sit with the 'Pompey get anther £1m if Glen Johnson wins the Premier League'?

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