Turkish in Memoriam (2007-2015)

Turkish (2007-2015)

I cannot profess to have known the great man well, but I admired his work. There are certain posters, that when their name pops up as "Last Post By", you instinctively click in and take a look, to find out what dumb thing they're saying now. Turkish was one of mine.

His professed views were often antagonistic, and his style was to call a spade a spade. But Turkish would not stop at that. If Turkish detected that a spade did not like being called a spade, he would proceed to call it a spade at every possible opportunity. He would go out of his way, he would follow the spade around the forum, and every time its handle popped up above ground, no matter how unrelated the turf might be to the general sphere of digging tools, Turkish would be there. 'That is such a spade thing to say,' Turkish would observe. 'I would expect nothing less, from a spade.'

Lesser men, might have tired of this. But when it came to the stupidity of others, Turkish was gifted with an elephantine memory, and his capacity to remind someone of the dumb thing they once said in 2007, was inexhaustible. In this regard, he provided a valuable and selfless service to the forum. Can we imagine that he actually enjoyed reminding suewhistle on a weekly basis, that she used to live in Italy? No, that is unconscionable. He was sacrificing his own time, perhaps misguidedly, in service to his own prejudice that no-one wants to hear about where people live, unless they happen to live in Hull, or Harrogate, or wherever the fuck it was that he made his own nest.

People will have their own recollections of which subjects drew the Turkish ire, and whether his interventions could be justified. Was the tedium of watching Turkish rail against a ludicrously exaggerated Southampton catchment area, any less exhausting than reading a MLG new stadium thread? It probably was, though it would be a close run thing.

For my part, Turkish was at his best, not when tormenting friends and loved ones amongst our own number, but when he turned his laser-like intellect against the wider world. His aggrandizement of the mythical exploits of the notorious Southampton Firm, always made me smile. It was Turkish who first observed, that Nicola Cortese looks exactly like Nick Nack from The Man With The Golden Gun, and without Turkish, I might never have learned of the fetishistic attention that Cortese placed upon his spoons.

If there is any justice, Turkish will be remembered as our greatest warrior. He was our Braveheart, our Achilles, our Tyson. For the longest time he strode our forum undefeated, nay, even unchallenged. It is only in recent years that the facade began to crack. The first blow fell in 2013, when Turkish was unexpectedly ironed out by an unknown forum no-hoper, Jon Boy Saint, using nothing more than a sub-standard SMS pastie. An awed hush fell over Saintsweb that day. Betting syndicates were crushed, and despite extended inquest, the result stood. It was akin to watching Tyson felled by James Buster Douglas, and though we were all so shocked, we began to feel, that perhaps we ought to have seen it coming. The cracks were always there, had we only thought to look for them.

Whatever the case, he was never quite the same after that. His numerous attempts at a comeback, were never quite convincing. His famed arrogance, was tainted by an unseemly bitterness. He started taking lesser supporting roles in comedy sub-forums, like Ugly Inside. It was beneath him, and worse, he knew it.

But let us not remember the tired husk he became. Let us remember Turkish in his prime, striding through the forum, a giant of his time, swatting down forum flies and idiots, and then spending the next 8 years reminding us, repeatedly, of what he had done. Turkish was both the hero of our forum, and the chronicler of his own legend. He shall be missed.

RIP

Now you've made me miss him

Now you've made me miss him

Don't be sad, it's a time for celebration! Ding dong, Turkish is dead...

I'll be eating a low quality, slightly warm individual steak and onion pie at 3:37 this afternoon. It's what he would have wanted.

sc pls be srs, not at a funeral think of his family

I'll be eating a low quality, slightly warm individual steak and onion pie at 3:37 this afternoon. It's what he would have wanted.

I think we should all wear shirts, jester hats, face paint and foam hands in his memory. And belt out the Cortese chant.

I'll be eating a low quality, slightly warm individual steak and onion pie at 3:37 this afternoon. It's what he would have wanted.

I'm gonna say a silent payer, and try starting a Jay Rodriguez chant to the tune of 3 Blind Mice

sc pls be srs, not at a funeral think of his family

Have you got a link to the Jon boy Saint thread? I want to relive the moment...

Bit of Turkish dancing

Have you got a link to the Jon boy Saint thread? I want to relive the moment...

bit morbid lou. pls wait respectful period of mourning ffs

Hilarious thread. Well done

Each man's death diminishes me,

For I am involved in mankind.

Therefore, send not to know

For whom the kettle bell tolls,

It tolls for thee.

RIP Turks:(

The Les Reed is God campaign has come to a grinding halt. I think Turks should be buried with a copy of Les Reeds Coaching manual. It is what he would have wanted.

I'm gonna say a silent payer, and try starting a Jay Rodriguez chant to the tune of 3 Blind Mice

I think we should just shout "Steeeeeeeve!" It was his favourite chant.

NOT TURKISH!!!!!!!!!!

Looking on the bright side, printer cartridge sales around Harrogate are now set to go through the roof. This could be just what the UK economy needs before the election.

Will we ever find out what happened to the spoon and the personal toilet??

It is utterly tragic that one so young, hungry, and therefore guaranteed to improve has been taken from us...................

Oh no.

It's what he would have wanted

About time someone had the cajones to ban that idiot.

I'm expecting a Heisenberg type revival though which will make a mockery of the proceedings.

About time someone had the cajones to ban that idiot.

 

I'm expecting a Heisenberg type revival though which will make a mockery of the proceedings.

It shouldn't be hard to spot given the repetitive nature of their posts and those who they seem to enjoy following around to troll.

I'll be eating a low quality, slightly warm individual steak and onion pie at 3:37 this afternoon. It's what he would have wanted.

Where does that leave you as the surviving half of the double act? It will be like the chuckle brothers with only one chuckle.....

He may have been repetitive and annoying to some but this is a football forum and I respect The Turks football nous.

He may have been repetitive and annoying to some but this is a football forum and I respect The Turks football nous.

Calling the signing of Morgan one of Rupert Lowe's top five blunders is pure football nous.

RIP, pal.

:lol:

Calling the signing of Morgan one of Rupert Lowe's top five blunders is pure football nous.

 

RIP, pal.

 

:lol:

ARE YOU EVER WRONG?

Is it a perniban pal?

ARE YOU EVER WRONG?

Yep but never that wrong.

Anyway thought the task of dredging up old posts -read the OP- was in keeping with the spirit of the old boy

I cannot profess to have known the great man well, but I admired his work. There are certain posters, that when their name pops up as "Last Post By", you instinctively click in and take a look, to find out what dumb thing they're saying now. Turkish was one of mine.

Erudite as ever, Bearsy!

It's coming up to Easter so I suspect we may well get some sort of resurrection, although if any new poster starts following me around it may look a little suspicious...

It would be beneath my dignity to delight in somebody's demise, and indulge in schadenfreude. So I'll say nothing further.

sn igger

Yep but never that wrong.

 

Anyway thought the task of dredging up old posts -read the OP- was in keeping with the spirit of the old boy

fair enough:thumbup:

The Pap v Turkish racism thread was another good one. Pretty sure Pap won easily on points in that one. Or was it on the Ugly?

The Pap v Turkish racism thread was another good one. Pretty sure Pap won easily on points in that one. Or was it on the Ugly?

Give us links - I want to relive these moments! Now Turks is no longer with us, I want to pretend he's a great hero.

Give us links - I want to relive these moments! Now Turks is no longer with us, I want to pretend he's a great hero.

I had a complicated relationship with our erstwhile former nawty king, but I think it was always based on merit. I railed against the bloke for his seemingly unresolvable issues with "what racism is, exactly" but as soon as I realised that:-

1) Poster intent is to take the p!ss

2) Posted content may be designed to take the p!ss.

3) Someone else will issue outrage, even if I don't.

...it became less of an issue.

The high point of our relationship depends on who you speak to If you chatted to Turkish, he'd probably say that our defining moment was when I conflated the heady combination of "I don't understand racism" with his UI username, "Del Bianco", which literally translates to "the White". I made the colossal error of linking the two. Occam's razor, and indeed most public records, will verify Turkish's counterclaim that his real life surname was "White", was correct. If you speak to me, I'd point to a thread started on the UI, intended to harm myself and forum ally buctootim (how times change!), ending up as a complete drubbing for several posters on our less wordily allocated sister site.

It was this incident that provides personal chuckles every time Turkish claims has never been defeated on a mongboard. That all said, I'm going to miss the boy. How many of us really value those relationships in which you've agreed from day one and never had any issues? That's essentially dog ownership, isn't it? Worthwhile, but not especially challenging.

Turkish deserves a bit of respect for loads of reasons. Did he take the p!ss? Yes. Is that sometimes required? Definitely, especially with the amount of me-too-ers that inhabit the site. Having a proper toe-to-toe with someone gives you an indication of how far someone is prepared to go in the service of one-up-manship. Here's where I find the biggest disconnect between Turkish rep and reality.

I can't remember Turks ever inventing anything to prove a point, and in terms of "nuclear option" posters, the boy was a pussycat. That ain't a bad thing, and speaks to his legacy as a poster. He was always more interested in taking the p!ss than opening a vein. He'll be missed.

Not that kind of link! Ew, I don't even know what he's doing there...

He's masturbating over a Fay Weldon article.

He's masturbating over a Fay Weldon article.

Probably 'Big Women' but 'Splitting' would have been more apt

I had a complicated relationship with our erstwhile former nawty king, but I think it was always based on merit...

tks that's the kind of personal & moving tribute we were looking for! It seems that Turkish touched a lot of people on here. Men. Women. Little kids. They didn't always like it, they may have found him rough, but he touched them all the same.

RIP

I first thought he was a tw at but actually warmed to him. Will miss him.

He was tedious and this forum will be better without him. Particularly hilarious were his attempts at bullying some of the younger members of the forum - always made him look like a massive ****.

Did I miss something?

Where does that leave you as the surviving half of the double act? It will be like the chuckle brothers with only one chuckle.....

I don't think a chuckle is the right word to describe them.. Although CB has lightened up and been a lot more amusing recently.

The forum has lost a lot of decent posters and perhaps they may start posting again, especially now that a major part of the put down crew has gone.

The forum has lost a lot of decent posters and perhaps they may start posting again, especially now that a major part of the put down crew has gone.

a lot of good posters will start bothering again and you can see why

Did I miss something?

Frank you missed an amazing meltdown/tantrum, I'm sure it was just a look at me thread but was an amusing thread.

The title was quite offensive, comparing this site and moderation to a terrible Nazi death camp

Why don't you raise a glass or three to Turkish, FC? It's what he would have wanted...