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Thread: Saints Jokes

  1. #1

    Default Saints Jokes

    Okay we know we are crap but you can still have a laugh about it.
    Make us smile with a Saints joke.

    Little boy to Santa ‘Can I have a unicorn for Christmas.?’
    Santa ‘Come on, be realistic.’
    Little boy ‘Okay can you give Saints a home win today?’
    Santa ‘What colour do you want the unicorn to be?’

  2. #2

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    Last time I went to St Marys a steward caught me climbing over the wall, he made me return to me seat and stay till the end.

  3. #3

    Default

    Knock knock...

  4. #4

    Default

    The board
    The management staff
    The owner
    The ambition
    The whole club is a joke at the moment

  5. #5

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SKD View Post
    The board
    The management staff
    The owner
    The ambition
    The whole club is a joke at the moment
    Come on chill out as it’s hardly life or death?

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nick75Sfc View Post
    Knock knock...
    Who's there ?

  7. #7

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    'What time are Saints kicking off today?'

    3.00, 3.15, 3.22, 3.27 ........

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by badgerx16 View Post
    Who's there ?
    Owen

  9. #9

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    How many Saints players does it take to change a light bulb?

    None. 11 to try but achieve nothing, changing no bulbs whatsoever and having to sit in the dark, weeping with their head in their hands.

  10. #10

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    Tampax are trying to sponsor the directors box. They’re looking for a bunch of c***s going through a really tough period.

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nick75Sfc View Post
    Owen
    Go on then.....

    Owen who?

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Toadhall Saint View Post
    Go on then.....

    Owen who?
    Owen the saints
    Go marching in
    Owen the saints go marching in...

  13. #13

    Default

    What's brown and sticky?

  14. #14

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    OK not all saints related but here's a few you may get a chuckle out of.

    I left 2 saints tickets in my car last night. Someone smashed my window and left 2 more.

    What's does pompey and your mum have in common? They've both been ruined by crackheads.

    I rang fratton Park earlier to ask about wheelchair access for my disabled aunty. "well we're a bit full at the moment but she does meet all the criteria so she'll have to play in goal" was the reply.

    What's blue and keeps a **** warm? A pompey scarf.

    Little known facts on England footballer Danny Welbeck, his father was in the bomb disposal unit ... he was called Stan...

    (World Cup) I haven't seen Argentina defend this badly since the Falklands...

    (World Cup) looks like Saudi Arabia will beheading home soon...

    (world Cup) Polish fans have been officially warned that if they cause any trouble during the World cup in Russia 2018 they will be deported back to the UK.

    If you kill yourself , it's called suicide .If you kill someone , it's called homicide .If you kill thousands , it's called genocide .If you kill the King , it's called regicide .If you kill your brother , it's called fratricide .And , if you have 2 Premier League teams , and neither have won the League for over 20 years , it's called Merseyside.

    (World Cup) last time I was this nervous over a semi was when I saw broke back mountain.

    My daughter asked if you can get pregnant from having anal sex?

    "Of course," i replied. "Where do you think pompey fans come from?"

    David Beckham was giving a talk at a football seminar, he says, " I like them because they make my breath smell nice"
    There's an awkward silence until someone at the back shouts.
    "Tactics, tactics you thick c*nt"

    11 games into the season and I've already seen a saints season ticket nailed to a tree.

    I thought to myself: "I'm having that."

    After all, you can never have enough nails, can you?

  15. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cabbage_Face View Post
    What's brown and sticky?
    A stick?

  16. #16

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    I once saw someone on this forum claim Cedric is the best RB in the league...How's that for a joke?

  17. #17

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    I saw Saints on the common playing football with a hedgehog.

    I shouted out to Hughes, 'Oi, you better stop that!'

    'Why?' said Sparky

    'Because the hedgehog is winning 3-0'

  18. #18

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    We have some joke supporters on here.

  19. #19

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    We get the same joke on repeat every time the team kicks off a match.

  20. Default

    Cedric
    Hoedt
    Bertrand
    Austin
    Long
    JWP
    Elyanoussi

  21. #21

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    The whole club is a joke nowadays. Winless , rudderless and drifting morass of mediocrity. The whole character of the players is questionable. Simply awful

  22. #22

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    I would never trust Saints with my dog ............... they cannot hold onto a lead !!

  23. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cabbage_Face View Post
    What's brown and sticky?
    A mouldy cabbage

    Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

  24. #24

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  25. #25

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    What’s red and white and turns up once a year?

    A Southampton victory.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  26. Default

    Didn't Jose just make a joke about the game against us being a friendly?

  27. #27

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    Quote Originally Posted by BotleySaint View Post
    Didn't Jose just make a joke about the game against us being a friendly?
    I doubt it. Jose loves us. Unless he meant how friendly he is with the club.

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