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Saints Jokes


Pilchards
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Okay we know we are crap but you can still have a laugh about it.

Make us smile with a Saints joke.

 

Little boy to Santa ‘Can I have a unicorn for Christmas.?’

Santa ‘Come on, be realistic.’

Little boy ‘Okay can you give Saints a home win today?’

Santa ‘What colour do you want the unicorn to be?’

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OK not all saints related but here's a few you may get a chuckle out of.

 

I left 2 saints tickets in my car last night. Someone smashed my window and left 2 more.

 

What's does pompey and your mum have in common? They've both been ruined by crackheads.

 

I rang fratton Park earlier to ask about wheelchair access for my disabled aunty. "well we're a bit full at the moment but she does meet all the criteria so she'll have to play in goal" was the reply.

 

What's blue and keeps a **** warm? A pompey scarf.

 

Little known facts on England footballer Danny Welbeck, his father was in the bomb disposal unit ... he was called Stan...

 

(World Cup) I haven't seen Argentina defend this badly since the Falklands...

 

(World Cup) looks like Saudi Arabia will beheading home soon...

 

(world Cup) Polish fans have been officially warned that if they cause any trouble during the World cup in Russia 2018 they will be deported back to the UK.

 

If you kill yourself , it's called suicide .If you kill someone , it's called homicide .If you kill thousands , it's called genocide .If you kill the King , it's called regicide .If you kill your brother , it's called fratricide .And , if you have 2 Premier League teams , and neither have won the League for over 20 years , it's called Merseyside.

 

(World Cup) last time I was this nervous over a semi was when I saw broke back mountain.

 

My daughter asked if you can get pregnant from having anal sex?

 

"Of course," i replied. "Where do you think pompey fans come from?"

 

David Beckham was giving a talk at a football seminar, he says, " I like them because they make my breath smell nice"

There's an awkward silence until someone at the back shouts.

"Tactics, tactics you thick c*nt"

 

11 games into the season and I've already seen a saints season ticket nailed to a tree.

 

I thought to myself: "I'm having that."

 

After all, you can never have enough nails, can you?

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