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The small things in life that bring you joy


trousers

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Walking the dogs out across the beach at low tide; the Lake District in front of us, the Pennines to our right, and an open vista towards the Isle of Man to the left, and knowing there isn't another human being within a mile and a half radius.

 

Finding out that’s its p1ssing down with rain and gales 90% of your lifetime.

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Winding up telephone scammers claiming to be from BT or "Windows Support". We have variously been a Police Station, a secret Government establishment, and an active murder scene where the investigating officers on site have picked up the phone. ( Our daughter has a variation on this one where she responds as the perpetrator saying "They're all dead, there's so much blood !" ). We have also created an entirely fictitious 3rd son, and we now get scammers asking for him directly, ( but he is always unavailable as he is on active service in the SBS. The caller's often respond to this by saying how proud we must be of him ).

Edited by badgerx16
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Winding up telephone scammers claiming to be from BT or "Windows Support". We have variously been a Police Station, a secret Government establishment, and an active murder scene where the investigating officers on site have picked up the phone. ( Our daughter has a variation on this one where she responds as the perpetrator saying "They're all dead, there's so much blood !" ). We have also created an entirely fictitious 3rd son, and we now get scammers asking for him directly, ( but he is always unavailable as he is on active service in the SBS. The caller's often respond to this by saying how proud we must be of him ).

 

If you liked that one then maybe you'd like this one too:

 

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If you liked that one then maybe you'd like this one too:

 

That's the one I cribbed from.

 

I also like the one where the person responding to the call tells the scammer that he has contacted a CIA base, and his location's map coordinates have been marked, and a Reaper drone despatched.

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Winning, at anything. Could be a game of football with a 6 year old. Don’t care, enjoy winning.

 

A good shot in golf

 

Getting off a plane and feeling the heat of a tropical climate

 

Opening a jar that someone else struggled and failed to open

 

Falling asleep with my dogs

 

Starting a fire (safely of course)

 

Picking the fastest moving lane in a traffic jam

 

Pressure washing something very dirty

 

Tîts

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Winning, at anything. Could be a game of football with a 6 year old. Don’t care, enjoy winning.

 

A good shot in golf

 

Getting off a plane and feeling the heat of a tropical climate

 

Opening a jar that someone else struggled and failed to open

 

Falling asleep with my dogs

 

Starting a fire (safely of course)

 

Picking the fastest moving lane in a traffic jam

 

Pressure washing something very dirty

 

Tîts

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Small or big ones? (I didn't read the rest)
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  • 4 months later...

Those tokens they give you at the supermarket to put in the slot of your choice for a local good cause. I always take one but insted of slotting it, leave it on the top. The person after me will feel like they've won the lottery as they've got an extra token, and I get to corrupt a voting system.

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I prepared a delicious meal for my wife tonight for Valentines.

Starter: prawns, salmon and smoked salmon presented in a sea shell.

Main: Venison stake in chocolate butter sauce a with spinach mornay.

Desert: Elderflower and pear cheesecake.

Washed down with a bottle of fizz.

Went down a treat and I have just banked a ton of brownie points.

 

 

 

 

Thank you Waitrose.

 

And all for 20 quid. Bargain!

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I prepared a delicious meal for my wife tonight for Valentines.

Starter: prawns, salmon and smoked salmon presented in a sea shell.

Main: Venison stake in chocolate butter sauce a with spinach mornay.

Desert: Elderflower and pear cheesecake.

Washed down with a bottle of fizz.

Went down a treat and I have just banked a ton of brownie points.

 

 

 

 

Thank you Waitrose.

 

And all for 20 quid. Bargain!

 

So is to a) your wife, b) Waitrose or c) the price that is the small thing that brings you joy? [emoji6]

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My 5 year old grandson, ( again ); yesterday he played 'dressing up', running round the house with a black cape over his head, pretending to be TON618 - his favourite supermassive black hole.

 

Edited by badgerx16
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Reading examples of British understatement and subtle wit.

I have read an article about Leila Khaled, the Palestinian woman who was part of a hijacking group in the early 1970s. When she tried to hijack a plane from Amsterdam to New York she was overpowered and the plane diverted to Heathrow, where she was handed over to the Police. An immigration officer visited her in jail, and asked her "Why exactly did you enter the country without a valid visa ?".

 

The Royal Navy is a great source of such things. For example,  there was an alleged exchange between the USN and the RN as the allies closed in on Japan. An American ship signalled a British one, " How's the second largest navy in the World getting on ?". The RN commander replied "We are fine thankyou, how's the second best ?".

 

Edited by badgerx16
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