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Just to put the massive crowds into perspective, take out the cheap season tickets and Cambridge will earn more from one game than pompey's matchday income for a year.

It makes you wonder how the whole cashflow thing is going....

 

Cambridge's plucky cup run is a joy to behold, happily the most local club have embarked on a rich Cup run of their own which will fill their war chest ready for a renewed assault on the upper reaches of their League... Oh.

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Anyone heard what Awful's excuse was this time? Dog ate his homework? Ref overawed by the most local crowd?

 

No it was the fact that there are "very fine lines in football". He must have said it about 200 times.

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Wow, just when you think that "journalism" can't get any worse, our dear friend and exemplary wordsmith Jordan Cross turns in an eight "pompey paragraph" Match Report.

 

Complete with an ample array of sentence-splicing sleight-of-hand, to somehow manage to pad it out that far.

 

Even this p!ss-take post offers more satiety in a head-to-head word-count.

 

Some wonderful highlights include the evocative tag-lines: "bleak afternoon at Fratton Park" and "a black day for Pompey".

 

 

Jordan Cross -- proving that the new true quality journalism is not simply a matter of producing detailed and engaging copy -- but rather an evolving art-form of linguistic Haute cuisine.

 

Clearly it's another of those epic p*mpey Quality over Quantity type things.

 

 

Just without the 'quality'.

 

 

"Less-is-more" is the new en-vogue, cutting edge journalistic style - and The Snooze are the pioneering, trend-setting market leaders -- blazing a trail at the fore-front this new syntactical revolution, of saying absolutely f*ck-all and getting (presumably) well paid for it. :mcinnes:

 

 

It's either that -- or -- "p!ss-poor p*mpey" are just so sh!te that even their local rag can't be f*cked to write about them anymore. :p

 

 

If things continue as "bleakly" as they are - (and this is p*mpy - so they probably will!) -- I can foresee even shorter Match Reports in the coming weeks:

 

 

POMPEY LOSE AGAIN:

P!ss-poor p*mpey's winless streak continued this afternoon with another dismal Home defeat.

 

The pluckiest were on the end of another bleak two-goal reverse.

 

They added another Red-Card to their growing collection in the second half.

 

There were the inevitable boos from the bestest as they trudged off home to give their sisters a hand getting undressed.

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Wow, just when you think that "journalism" can't get any worse, our dear friend and exemplary wordsmith Jordan Cross turns in an eight "pompey paragraph" Match Report.

 

Complete with an ample array of sentence-splicing sleight-of-hand, to somehow manage to pad it out that far.

 

Even this p!ss-take post offers more satiety in a head-to-head word-count.

 

Some wonderful highlights include the evocative tag-lines: "bleak afternoon at Fratton Park" and "a black day for Pompey".

 

 

Jordan Cross -- proving that the new true quality journalism is not simply a matter of producing detailed and engaging copy -- but rather an evolving art-form of linguistic Haute cuisine.

 

Clearly it's another of those epic p*mpey Quality over Quantity type things.

 

 

Just without the 'quality'.

 

 

"Less-is-more" is the new en-vogue, cutting edge journalistic style - and The Snooze are the pioneering, trend-setting market leaders -- blazing a trail at the fore-front this new syntactical revolution, of saying absolutely f*ck-all and getting (presumably) well paid for it. :mcinnes:

 

 

It's either that -- or -- "p!ss-poor p*mpey" are just so sh!te that even their local rag can't be f*cked to write about them anymore. :p

 

 

If things continue as "bleakly" as they are - (and this is p*mpy - so they probably will!) -- I can foresee even shorter Match Reports in the coming weeks:

 

:lol:

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lots of their fans want Awful out it seems, perhaps as they "own" the club they can kick him out no?

 

Oh what's that, they don't really own the club and have no say over any decisions!? But what about their 'shares'? Surely they weren't duped into putting £1000 in to someone else's pocket so that they could buy the club, Who'd have thought it haha!

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Something constructive for the few to ponder - a quick business analysis of the problems encountered since the Trust launched this great new company...

 

The board appointed a poor manager.

The poor manager performed poorly, the board blamed him and sacked him.

That mistake cost money.

They appointed another poor manager, this time after he has already failed at his previous club.

That appointment of a poor manager upset their only quality player, he stopped playing.

That mistake cost money.

The new poor manager performed poorly and eventually needed replacing.

That mistake cost money.

The board appointed yet another poor manager, he performed poorly, so they learned from previous errors...and sacked his assistant.

That mistake cost money.

That gave the current poor manager free rein to perform even more poorly - and results got even worse.

 

Likely outcome - the board will appoint yet another poor manager shortly.

The mistake will cost money.

 

The common factor in every poor decision?

The board.

 

Things we have learned?

1. If you appoint someone who isn't very good don't be surprised if they aren't very good, their appointment is your fault not theirs.

2. When we said on day one that there didn't seem to be much quality in that boardroom we weren't just jealous bitter scummahs.

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Something constructive for the few to ponder - a quick business analysis of the problems encountered since the Trust launched this great new company...

 

The board appointed a poor manager.

The poor manager performed poorly, the board blamed him and sacked him.

That mistake cost money.

They appointed another poor manager, this time after he has already failed at his previous club.

That appointment of a poor manager upset their only quality player, he stopped playing.

That mistake cost money.

The new poor manager performed poorly and eventually needed replacing.

That mistake cost money.

The board appointed yet another poor manager, he performed poorly, so they learned from previous errors...and sacked his assistant.

That mistake cost money.

That gave the current poor manager free rein to perform even more poorly - and results got even worse.

 

Likely outcome - the board will appoint yet another poor manager shortly.

The mistake will cost money.

 

The common factor in every poor decision?

The board.

 

Things we have learned?

1. If you appoint someone who isn't very good don't be surprised if they aren't very good, their appointment is your fault not theirs.

2. When we said on day one that there didn't seem to be much quality in that boardroom we weren't just jealous bitter scummahs.

 

You are wrong. Everything is going swimmingly. Nothing to see here.

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I gave this chap thumbs up (strangely, the phew didn't). Possibly a nutjob in disguise of course, but it cheered up my day.

 

OVERTHEILL

Think I'd willingly swap them our trophy's for their stadium,training ground and league position

 

OVERTHEILL

More replacement managers being named,time for a reality check. What professional successful manager in his right mind would come to this tuppence hapeny micky mouse outfit. Best thing we can do is drop out of the league unload our clapped out stadium to the developers for some serious cash and start again at the new training ground. Who knows one day we may be as good as Cambridge

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Something constructive for the few to ponder - a quick business analysis of the problems encountered since the Trust launched this great new company...

 

The board appointed a poor manager.

The poor manager performed poorly, the board blamed him and sacked him.

That mistake cost money.

They appointed another poor manager, this time after he has already failed at his previous club.

That appointment of a poor manager upset their only quality player, he stopped playing.

That mistake cost money.

The new poor manager performed poorly and eventually needed replacing.

That mistake cost money.

The board appointed yet another poor manager, he performed poorly, so they learned from previous errors...and sacked his assistant.

That mistake cost money.

That gave the current poor manager free rein to perform even more poorly - and results got even worse.

 

Likely outcome - the board will appoint yet another poor manager shortly.

The mistake will cost money.

 

The common factor in every poor decision?

The board.

 

Things we have learned?

1. If you appoint someone who isn't very good don't be surprised if they aren't very good, their appointment is your fault not theirs.

2. When we said on day one that there didn't seem to be much quality in that boardroom we weren't just jealous bitter scummahs.

But on the other hand, you need to balance that off with all their successes:

 

The new tip-top playing squad

The re-vamped academy

The new pitch

The new training ground facilities

The new training pitches

The new replica kits

The new car park

The increased capacity at FP

 

You have to hand it to the new Board, they've really turned things around and, at last, some would say they're now heading in the right direction

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I've noticed a new level of stupidity and hypocrisy amongst pompey fans recently. They've started referring to us as 'a sky franchise fc', presumably taking the moral high ground because they're fan owned etc. However they still bang on about their 2008 cup win, the other cup final and their 'success' in the prem, even though they at the time were more 'sky franchise fc' than anyone what with the ridiculous spending beyond their means.

 

It's also a stupid label to put on us anyway considering how well run we are and how we're most probably going to make a sizeable profit for this financial year.

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This is excellent. They're only 3 points plus goal difference above dropping out of the football league. Any chance we can send some of the U21s out to get some first team experience with some of their rivals?

 

At first I wanted them to hang about so we'd have a chance to get them in the cups, but now that they can't even get into the same round as us in either cup, they may as well hurry up and get relegated.

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Any POL quotes from the insiders please?

 

The board have banked monies from a necessary, if wretched Tesco deal. It is a poor state of affairs if we do not have the means to swoop for an incumbent boss, however well entrenced at his [lower league] club. A performance-related contract for Phil Brown is my choice.

 

It's time to also start looking at a board shake up. Off the pitch great, on it abysmal decisions.

 

Somewhere along the line, and imo pretty quickly, we must develop a philosophy of our own. And much as I hate to say it the board need to look a little way down the road to look at the lessons we could learn from our neighbours.

 

No DOF position for Awford. No nothing. I'm sorry. It's time to get ruthless. We are too nice as a club now. No bite on or off the pitch. We welcome away teams and make them feel at home. We try to accommodate all and everyone and now is the time to get a bit nasty.

 

We need a mass clear out, Awford, coaching staff everyone. Bring a new manager in and let that manager appoint his own staff. Let him decide at the end of the season which players will get new contacts out of the 16 that are out of contract and which ones will go.

 

And finally, the straw-clutchiest posts

 

On a positive note.... the scummers aren't going to Wembley.

 

Made my day... It's bad enough them doing well this season, the last thing we want is them winning a cup!

 

it would be great if Derby or Middlesbrough could win it, I think. Derby are ike Pompey in many ways- they are, unlike Scummers, a great provincial club.
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Just to double check my understanding of the word 'provincial', I've looked it up:

 

"Of or concerning the regions outside the capital city of a country, esp. when regarded as unsophisticated or narrow-minded"

 

Narrow-minded and unsophisticated? Yeah sure, that sounds like Derby and Portsmouth.

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I've noticed a new level of stupidity and hypocrisy amongst pompey fans recently. They've started referring to us as 'a sky franchise fc', presumably taking the moral high ground because they're fan owned etc. However they still bang on about their 2008 cup win, the other cup final and their 'success' in the prem, even though they at the time were more 'sky franchise fc' than anyone what with the ridiculous spending beyond their means.

 

It's also a stupid label to put on us anyway considering how well run we are and how we're most probably going to make a sizeable profit for this financial year.

The only reason they still exist is because Sky's parachute money kept them afloat over the last 5 years.

 

# Pompey fan selective memory klaxon #

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Trousers you bitter green-eyed scummah, they were absolutely fine back then and fully solvent! :x

 

It was only when the child-maimer got a bit unlucky on the world markets that things went slightly awry, not that he owned the club illegally or anything like that.

And there was definitely no problem before the FA Cup theft, or the win at St Marys, other than the odd administration.

So the new company gets to keep ALL of the results of the four previous companies and just loses the odd £100M of debt here and there - same as we did, same as Chelsea and Man Utd have.

And if they do have to pay off another manager the parachute payments will cover it cos they is ringfenced.

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