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Fittingly, a final outing consisted of shrugging off concussion in his attempts to help Pompey reach the play-off final.

 

Wasn't concussion then was it you thundering hedgehog c*nt because if it was he'd have immediately been off the pitch. D!ckhead.

 

And I would have thought drooling would be the normal state of affairs in the crowd on a match day at the tatty timber tabernacle.

 

 

Do you think Factless has a bet on to write all his articles in the style of a Viking saga?

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Wasn't concussion then was it you thundering hedgehog c*nt because if it was he'd have immediately been off the pitch. D!ckhead.

 

And I would have thought drooling would be the normal state of affairs in the crowd on a match day at the tatty timber tabernacle.

 

 

Do you think Factless has a bet on to write all his articles in the style of a Viking saga?

 

Viking saga? I'd say by comparison he makes Jeffrey Archer look like Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, Charles Dickens and Bill Shakespeare all rolled into one

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Hilarious. They've been given midweek trips away to Morecambe and Blackpool and a Boxing Day clash in Wales!

 

I'm vaguely annoyed that my usual Xmas trip "home" to watch a match is going to be accompanied by that bunch of gimps. Though at the moment as it's the same time as Saints v Spurs I'm going to have to keep an eye on Prem tv times before I make any Xmas choices. :o

 

In other news, all 7 of the Newport County L2 aways I was planning on going to currently clash with Saints home games (or are midweek oop north), though 3 of them will be moved for Europa League so I now have the opportunity to fly direct to the likes of Doncaster or Blackpool from any given Europa League venue... :D

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Get this, the reason they didn't get promoted last time round, was that too many of the players were used to playing at a higher level, which made League 2 tricky for them:

 

 

 

http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/football/pompey/adam-barton-pompey-better-placed-for-promotion-this-time-1-7439209

 

:mcinnes:

 

 

That article will be ten times funnier when we drag it out again at the end of NEXT season. ;)

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"It is over three years since the Fans took over Portsmouth Community Football Club. The name indicates how important it is to us and to the wider football world."

 

The grandeur of their pompous self-eulogising delusion knows no bounds. Nobody gives a flying **** about your lousy tinpot little outfit you bunch of inbred halfwits.

 

Oh that's cheered me up no end...

 

PST will hold hustings in Portsmouth at some stage to give candidates an opportunity to meet members of the Trust; and communicate with our worldwide fan base.
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Good to see the annual team rebuild is galloping along:

 

Those today present included new recruits Carl Baker, Drew Talbot, Milan Lalkovic, Danny Rose and Michael Smith.

 

Also, absent from participating were transfer-listed trio Matt Tubbs, Adam McGurk and Kal Naismith, who had initially turned up along with the rest of their team-mates. Pompey are desperate to offload all three, although interest has been frustratingly sparse during the close season.

 

Fortunately, the budget is again unlimited, due to the world record season ticket sales.

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Matt Tubbs, Adam McGurk and Kal Naismith, who had initially turned up along with the rest of their team-mates. Pompey are desperate to offload all three,

 

Er, why? Crap? Too expensive? The only ones they reckon they could sell for er... money?

 

I should really channel my Neil Allen and reformat the above into separate paragraphs, but can't be ar&ed.

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Er, why? Crap? Too expensive? The only ones they reckon they could sell for er... money?

 

I should really channel my Neil Allen and reformat the above into separate paragraphs, but can't be ar&ed.

 

You also need to re-write it to read like a Mills & Boon

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He could indeed. In Lalkovic's own words:

 

I know I left League One with Walsall but it was an easy decision because the offer they made. I don’t think they showed me appreciation with what they offered
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Thunder rolled in the night as the rain beat down upon the tatty timber tabernacle, dislodging a few more of the roof tiles from its rotting frame. Bathed in the light of the Championship standard floodlights, Shaznay shivered gently and pulled her Sports Direct shell suit closer around her. She gazed up at the stands, remembering the inbred baying of the best fans in world football, remembering that day..... The day she first gazed upon his tattoo'd, pot bellied torso........

 

 

I can't go on

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Er, why? Crap? Too expensive? The only ones they reckon they could sell for er... money?

 

Having seen Matt Tubbs waddle around the pitch for Eastleigh a few times at the end of last season I'd suggest they'll struggle to get anything for him at all.

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Thunder rolled in the night as the rain beat down upon the tatty timber tabernacle, dislodging a few more of the roof tiles from its rotting frame. Bathed in the light of the Championship standard floodlights, Shaznay shivered gently and pulled her Sports Direct shell suit closer around her. She gazed up at the stands, remembering the inbred baying of the best fans in world football, remembering that day..... The day she first gazed upon his tattoo'd, pot bellied torso........

 

I can't go on

 

That, Biscuit, is class sir. I tip my topper to you :toppa:

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Shaznay gave an involuntary scream as the clammy six fingered hand brushed down her shoulder from behind

 

'OH IT'S YOU' she shrieked in an inbred mockney accent.

 

He stepped close, gripping her in his arms to prevent escape. 'BEANS!'

 

He roared in his sexy voice, the drool spattered Shaznay from her flabby breasts barely held in by the bra from Primark to the highest point of the top knot pulled back to the point of taking at least some of the wrinkles away from her face.

 

The kind of face you could never tire of punching.

 

'OH! TELL ME YOUR NAME' she quivered 'I'VE ONLY EVER HEARD OF YOU AS THE C*NT WITH THE BELL'

 

She pursed her lips, making them look like a donkey's rectum covered in Hot Pink by Revlon, nicked from Tesco's and bent her head towards his foaming mouth

 

 

 

 

I CAN'T DO THIS ANY MORE STOP MAKING ME I FEEL DIRTY AND USED

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Shaznay gave an involuntary scream as the clammy six fingered hand brushed down her shoulder from behind

 

'OH IT'S YOU' she shrieked in an inbred mockney accent.

 

He stepped close, gripping her in his arms to prevent escape. 'BEANS!'

 

He roared in his sexy voice, the drool spattered Shaznay from her flabby breasts barely held in by the bra from Primark to the highest point of the top knot pulled back to the point of taking at least some of the wrinkles away from her face.

 

The kind of face you could never tire of punching.

 

'OH! TELL ME YOUR NAME' she quivered 'I'VE ONLY EVER HEARD OF YOU AS THE C*NT WITH THE BELL'

 

She pursed her lips, making them look like a donkey's rectum covered in Hot Pink by Revlon, nicked from Tesco's and bent her head towards his foaming mouth

 

 

 

 

I CAN'T DO THIS ANY MORE STOP MAKING ME I FEEL DIRTY AND USED

 

89175.jpg

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Shaznay gave an involuntary scream as the clammy six fingered hand brushed down her shoulder from behind

 

'OH IT'S YOU' she shrieked in an inbred mockney accent.

 

He stepped close, gripping her in his arms to prevent escape. 'BEANS!'

 

He roared in his sexy voice, the drool spattered Shaznay from her flabby breasts barely held in by the bra from Primark to the highest point of the top knot pulled back to the point of taking at least some of the wrinkles away from her face.

 

The kind of face you could never tire of punching.

 

'OH! TELL ME YOUR NAME' she quivered 'I'VE ONLY EVER HEARD OF YOU AS THE C*NT WITH THE BELL'

 

She pursed her lips, making them look like a donkey's rectum covered in Hot Pink by Revlon, nicked from Tesco's and bent her head towards his foaming mouth

 

 

 

 

I CAN'T DO THIS ANY MORE STOP MAKING ME I FEEL DIRTY AND USED

 

****. Just burst out laughing on a conference call.

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Shaznay gave an involuntary scream as the clammy six fingered hand brushed down her shoulder from behind

 

'OH IT'S YOU' she shrieked in an inbred mockney accent.

 

He stepped close, gripping her in his arms to prevent escape. 'BEANS!'

 

He roared in his sexy voice, the drool spattered Shaznay from her flabby breasts barely held in by the bra from Primark to the highest point of the top knot pulled back to the point of taking at least some of the wrinkles away from her face.

 

The kind of face you could never tire of punching.

 

'OH! TELL ME YOUR NAME' she quivered 'I'VE ONLY EVER HEARD OF YOU AS THE C*NT WITH THE BELL'

 

She pursed her lips, making them look like a donkey's rectum covered in Hot Pink by Revlon, nicked from Tesco's and bent her head towards his foaming mouth

 

 

 

 

I CAN'T DO THIS ANY MORE STOP MAKING ME I FEEL DIRTY AND USED

 

:scared: but :lol:

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Her tongue probed his toothless mouth like a red slug hoovering up around a jam jar.

 

Unable to move in his clutches, Shaznay felt the heat between her legs.

 

She couldn't remember applying any Canesten that day and hoped it was arousal causing the warmth and not that nasty infection she had picked from her brother.

 

That or her bladder had let go again.

 

Coming up gasping for air, Shaznay nibbled on his ear, ignoring the flaking skin that coated her tongue like a mouthful of dry roasted nuts.

 

Reaching down she felt his manhood stir against the dirty white shorts. Shaznay took her time to reach in past the straining waistband.

 

It was, after all quite a task to get all four fingers and both thumbs of her hand in to his shorts.

 

He grunted like a minutely hung walrus as she gripped his manhood.

 

It felt just like an extremely deformed spare rib flavoured niknak, she squeezed gently and realised it was just as crusty as one too.

 

From out if his shirts her nostrils caught a whiff of long dead scampi. He was ready.

 

Dropping to her knees Shaznay cackled like a hyena on speed. Pulling down his shorts she shrieked 'YOUR PANTS!'

 

'WORN 'EM SINCE CUP FINAL' he slobbered proudly.

 

Reaching out Shaznay clawed away the shredded grey remains of the Marks and Spencer's blue Y-fronts and gasped with delight.

 

It looked just like an extremely deformed spare rib flavour niknak too!

 

 

 

Oh god please don't make me go on

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Her tongue probed his toothless mouth like a red slug hoovering up around a jam jar.

 

Unable to move in his clutches, Shaznay felt the heat between her legs.

 

She couldn't remember applying any Canesten that day and hoped it was arousal causing the warmth and not that nasty infection she had picked from her brother.

 

That or her bladder had let go again.

 

Coming up gasping for air, Shaznay nibbled on his ear, ignoring the flaking skin that coated her tongue like a mouthful of dry roasted nuts.

 

Reaching down she felt his manhood stir against the dirty white shorts. Shaznay took her time to reach in past the straining waistband.

 

It was, after all quite a task to get all four fingers and both thumbs of her hand in to his shorts.

 

He grunted like a minutely hung walrus as she gripped his manhood.

 

It felt just like an extremely deformed spare rib flavoured niknak, she squeezed gently and realised it was just as crusty as one too.

 

From out if his shirts her nostrils caught a whiff of long dead scampi. He was ready.

 

Dropping to her knees Shaznay cackled like a hyena on speed. Pulling down his shorts she shrieked 'YOUR PANTS!'

 

'WORN 'EM SINCE CUP FINAL' he slobbered proudly.

 

Reaching out Shaznay clawed away the shredded grey remains of the Marks and Spencer's blue Y-fronts and gasped with delight.

 

It looked just like an extremely deformed spare rib flavour niknak too!

 

 

 

Oh god please don't make me go on

Brilliant although the family are asking what I'm larfing about now!

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