Quickfire Double

Humbug

Countrymen

Not being the person who formulated the expression "thunder c;unt"!

People wearing Pizza box costumes to advertise Dominos. Actually on reflection I sort of feel sorry for them. How desperate would you have to be...?

I'm just getting started!!

Stupid text message tones: "Message from the dark side, you have". Outrageous f u c k ing 'c', you are...

T-shirts with ridiculous slogans

Dragon

- Celebrity culture - the media - the rail network - commuters - the "powers that be" - "No Service"

People I know who claim income support, but have somehow managed to book four flights this year. F u c k ing crooks...

All the "geezers" in shades on my train carriage. You're technically inside now, and the sun's gone in. Take 'em off, you outrageous "c".

Apologies if this has been covered already, I can't be arsed to check: the Facebook thing. Why do some folk insist on sharing a pictorial record of every meaningless expenditure of kinetic energy they manage across the course of a bog standard day? Take your "went in my garden and had a drink May 2010 part one" photo album and f u c k the f u c k off, if you please. It doesn't mean you've got anything remotely resembling a life, it just makes it screamingly obvious you want everyone to think you have, because you're empty on the inside and dead behind the eyes.

Sandra

Scratching

Bloke loudly eating his lunch opposite me in an otherwise silent office. Headphone leakage (turn it down, or buy a better pair, or far cough somewhere else).

Branch

Croydon

I particularly hate that last one. The hallmark of the attention deprived f u c k wit.

Having to work P i s s ing out of your a rse hole thanks to a dodgy Samosa The general populace

Atypical

Bi...

Grill

Bare

Spencer

Karl