Midfield_General

Gibson - Gene Hackman, if Gene Hackman was a camp, shit dwarf

Soon to be remade by ITV

Penalty to Ipswich

Famous also of course for his pasta sauces. Including... carbonara. We're through the looking glass now, people.

'Who'd liiiiiive in a house like thiiiiiiiis' (One for the kids there)

I fucking didn't, having been at the Spurs game

His team mate, surely

Wife uses it all the time. It's the same as having the painters in. Example usage: 'Sorry darling, not tonight, I've called in Lord Pannick'

That’s not how legal defences work though. You pay top whack to get the best possible lawyer who gets paid millions to convince people that black is white and then shut the fuck up and let them try and dig you out of trouble. Hence why the first thing they always tell you to do is say ‘no comment’ to everything, however much evidence there might be that you did something. Just shut up and let them handle it. Honestly, has no-one else seen 24 hours in police custody?

At last, some good news

It doesn’t matter who you have as a defence lawyer when your CEO admits guilt in front of a room full of people to the person who is prosecuting them. The cheating is on the management/ analytics team (specifics tbc), but the way Parsons has handled it has been absolutely inept. He fucked us before our defence could get off the ground or the panel had even sat down.

Lovely stuff

I don't doubt we're going to go on about how everyone does it, but the proving it bit might be tricky. Surely we'd need the backing and evidence of multiple other clubs to do that, and we've made ourselves such pariahs over this that I can't see any other clubs running to support us. They'll just look the other way until we've taken the fall and everyone has moved on, and then quietly remind their own people not to be as dumb, arrogant and useless at it as we were.

Baz

...but delivered in such a sappy, mealy-mouthed way, long after the horse has bolted that it basically carries no weight as a threat whatsoever. Reply from the EFL: "Thanks for the offer Phil, but we're a bit busy trying to sort out the play-off final which you and your band of wankers screwed up for literally everybody to be organising any working groups. Speak later x"

Parsons set to be fired at 18.03 once they return the verdict

Well, maybe Wolves

Not just the players. Once the appeal gets thrown out I think heads will start to roll. Between sackings and resignations / 'get me the fuck out of here' calls to agents, I can see it being a top to bottom bloodbath: CEO, DoF, Manager, Analytics team, lots of the playing staff. Would Dragan have the stomach to carry on after this, with the requirement of pumping in millions more just to stand still, with chaos to sort out, absolutely no guarantee of any return and the parachute payments running out after this season? If I was him, once I'd finished firing Parsons I'd be getting on the phone to see if anyone wants to buy a football club for a very reasonable price. Comes with a lovely* training ground. Legal background an advantage. (* and very private)

Yeah if that's all he's got then they should chuck a few extra points on the deduction for wasting their fucking time

Yup. I think you've nailed it.

Wow, we've volunteered to be part of a working group. Take that, Gibbo! There's a new boss in town!!!! Fucking mug