saintbletch

Cheers papster, I'd seen a lower res version that I couldn't read, but I'm intrigued that I couldn't find the text. I wonder if this an advert or party-political and as such the press can't report on it? Perhaps I just didn't Google for long enough. I wonder if it will convince anyone north of the border that otherwise wouldn't trust politicians? I wonder if those south of the border that feel the Barnett formula is unfair, will feel aggrieved at the special treatment for Scotland. An interesting move.

Ha! Tricked you Toke. As they say in Texas I don't want a coalition. Vote Bletch. I just wanted you to show your weakness. Loser. And I'm not afraid of your dirty tricks campaign. Vote Bletch. The answer is PO12 and I inhaled it. Plus I'm going to get pap as my spin doctor. I'm giving a speech tonight with Jean-Luc Picard in Area 51. (Personally I'm not sure why, but pap's the expert.) BTW Toke, how many forum bullies have you duffed up this year? I pulled a bully's jumper over his head, stuck grass in his vote Bletch mouth, and farted on his head. And as a result he's now joined the church and the forum is a better place to be. I'm close to God at the moment, or perhaps I should say God tells his friends that he's close to me at the moment. That's how high my vote Bletch stock is. *You haven't got a chance now that I've started the subvotebletchliminal messaging.

You just haven't put in the hours this year Toke. Voters, I urge you to look at the candidates carefully. Toke's gone all corporate this year, and now he drops this bombshell that he is taking holiday in the run-up to the erection! And the Bear? Well he's sold his soul to The Man. Actually Toke, we both know that Bear will win again. He gets the halo-effect from his work in "the other place". Perhaps we could consider a coalition? Toke Bletch! (that's a party name BTW, not an invitation to fellate!) I bet the Bear is sitting in a dark red, dimpled leather chair in the gentlemen's club that is The Main Board, sipping tizer with The Man, as everyone fawns over him with their platitudinous plaudits... It's vomit-inducing, but fellow Muppets, fellow voters, what has the Bear done for us lately? I mean, fifty shades was years ago now. He hasn't even produced a (half-finished) web site to filter Saints-related news for you. You know where to put your ex. Toke's a ****.

Has anyone got a link to the words of the Devo-max vow that the three leaders signed? I've Google'd around a bit, but can't seem to find the text.

You ain't lying Canton Woot. I think I've just "went".

A point well made Halo. If I may, I might just precis your post for those of limited attention span. BTW talking of Bletchley Park, oh and at this point voters, sorry I mean fellow posters, you have my permission to activate your Bletch-boredom blocker. Talking of Bletchley Park, Halo. Were you around on here when The Bear decided that he'd communicate with his sycophants by using code? Bear, Toke and (I think) Spudders (he was Spudyouhate then) decided to employ a 'complex' and some might say enigmatic code to keep secret their juvenile prattlings from other posters. I think the objective was to get around The Man's swear filter. Oh, how clever they were. But Toke had put Bear in charge of encryption; cast him as the Alan Turing of the group if you will. It turned out that Bear was more Carr than Turing, so it took the Bletch brain all of about 10 minutes to decipher it and start chatting with them in their own code. It was my finest hour - in that it made me look immensely clever, and as we all know that is my modus operandi. But I can't really take the credit for others' stupidity, because "Chatty Bear" had used a simple Caesar cipher with a relatively small shift. I mean as we all know, you still have the same alphabetic frequency distribution of 'typical' English, and even taking into account that words like yo, whatever, gaul and whatever would be given a greater prominence, it was the sort of thing I used to set for my children before they could speak. If he'd spent another 5 minutes selecting a better cipher, it would have been all but impenetrable. Imagine how many word games we could have in private without their interruptions.

I suppose it was a little naive to expect you and the Bear to play fair. But be warned Toke, 2014 is my year! I'm going to use any means at my disposal to win MVP 2014. (including becoming less boring, being less pedantic and posting more breasts (female)). BTW you inadvertently spelled my name incorrectly. And I think schoolboy is one word, whereas school boy sounds like an exasperation. Oh, and without the slightest hint of irony you go on to suggest that in calling others "thick" (which I don't think I did anyway), I must be in possession of a person from an ancient region of Europe, which today is mostly modern-day France. I've checked, and I really don't think I have the Gaul. You thick Scotch ****.

I don't want to come across as a pedant here Toke, but.... Well, if it's not an election then you surely made an error in your opening post.... Now you were either throwing your hat into the ring for the next MVP elections, or you've forgotten in which year you were voted Most Vacuous Prick. In your OP you claimed to be the 2014 Most Vacuous Prick, whereas in fact you fixed the voting in 2013 so that you were voted 2013 Most Vacuous Prick. I'm not saying that you're not the Most Vacuous Prick of 2014; you probably are. In fact I'm sure you are, and I'm also sure that you will continue be the Most Vacuous Prick each year for the rest of time. I'm simply stating that you haven't managed to fix the 2014 vote. Yet. And that brings me on to another topic. Is Bear, that hanging chad of a **** going to be running the vote for MVP again this year? What a funning debacle that was. Last year, I approached the MVP vote with integrity and decorum, only to find that The Bear had implemented a voting system that allowed you both to vote for yourselves multiple times. When I saw the Chuckle Brothers in a #1 and #2, I knew it was fixed. I mean who votes for you two when I'm on the ticket? (rhet.) I think you'll find (word puns > (illiterate sex talk + labrador pictures)). How can an iTMS electorate have faith that their vote will count for something in iTMS MVP 2014? Spud gun wasn't a **** Spudders, he was a complete ****. And whilst I don't really like ****, I really do love a bit of ****. Toke's a ****.

No. What's more, I hereby announce my intention to stand against Tokyo-Saint - most vacuous prick 2013. I plan to stand on the ticket of Making TMS (slightly) Better (than Toke would): No more main board flushes - in fact we will flush threads to the main bored if they are too sensible for here The return of Justice Mike and Spud Gun - in fact they will return and Tokyo-Saint will be banned The legalization of posting bare breasts - in fact not only will this be legalised, it will be compulsory to post bare breasts in iTMS after each contribution Soft Porn Fridays - in fact every day will henceforth be known as Soft Porn Friday limit to one word game per page - in fact all word game threads will be banned. I promise. You can trust me. reduction of yearly fee to £4.99 (extra 1p coming out of bear's paypal account) - in fact the yearly fee will be abolished and I will personally pay each member £5 / day for posting. (I plan to fund this by selling the oil from my car's engine, and before you tell me it will quickly run out - I've heard all those scare stories before) Mods allowed to visit peacefull but an end to threads getting deleted without representation (RIP Wanyama has signed thread) - (I literally have no idea what this means, but as I'm committed to this pun of taking Toke's commitments and bettering them...) - in fact we will carry out commando raids to delete Lounge threads. Vote Bletch! Remember - we're better together and better without Tokyo-Saint. Vote Bletch! Remember - Tokyo-Saint is just an anagram of: Toasty Oink and A Tin Skot, yo and A Skot Nit, yo and A Too Stinky and the unbelievably accurate Is a Kontt, yo* (*when said in a heavy Scotttch accent). *I meant what I said about the word games, voters. Vote Bletch! Remember - babies love Bletch, but Toke LOVES babies. (Bletch kissing baby) (Toke kissing baby) Vote Bletch. Remember Tokyo-Saint is a kontt, yo as well as being a too stinky. (see 3rd bullet point above)

Did you ever see that TV show "Heroes", Burpy T? Did they have it in Australia? It was about a group of people all over the world that each had a "superpower". I only ask because, whilst I used to think the show was fiction, it has now occurred to me that you may have been gifted a sort of superpower. As you suggested, you have the power to kill threads at will. I think you've been given Mod powers. Use them wisely. So Muppets, in an attempt to combat the evil Burpy T and to try to keep this thread going, what is the superpower you would have if you could? Or perhaps you can suggest the powers that other posters obviously have. Some ground rules. pap, I'm sorry, but you're not allowed the power of height. But somehow I think you'll know enough about superheroes to suggest some alternatives. No Toke, you can't turn into a female labrador at will. You only think you can. Turkish already has the biblical strength of Samson, but due to a cruel twist of genetic fate he can't exercise it due to male pattern balding. I think it was the book of Joshua that claimed that Samson could kill lions and do Turkish Get Ups all day long without stopping. In fact the only difference between the myth and the Legend is that whilst Samson used the jawbone of an ass to slay his enemies, Turkish uses the assbone of his jaw on here. (That's Biblical Samson BTW, not the footballer Kenny Samsung) I hope my power is obvious. I can use words to put people to sleep.......Zzzzzz

I'm both Toke. May the Lord L. Ron Hubbard bless you and your full head of hair. Baldness makes it easier to communicate with extra terrestrials. Tom's as bald as Turkish under his wigs. Think of your brain as a CB radio and your hair as tin foil wrapped around the antenna. Us baldies are kicking out 60 watts. Whereas to an alien you're all like:"Am I getting out? Good buddy".

Dean Dubai Philip, Yeah, good points. The other factor is that an independent Scotland would need to be part of the EU, or at least have trade agreements in place to make them attractive for multinationals outside of the EU to exploit. The wider point still stands that an independent Scotland could use aggressive tax incentives to draw business to Scotland. To answer your question, the potential nett loss of tax revenue might be the factor that would stop the other countries of the Union (divested of Scotland) from doing the same. A race to the bottom isn't in the interests of a union that isn't solely reliant on oil revenues. Also businesses might not need to 'locate' themselves in Scotland, but simply be registered there. They could use the sort of flag of convenience approach to tax used by Starbucks, Google and Amazon. BTW were the car plants you mention given special tax arrangements? I'd always assumed it was some form of other investment incentives (perhaps it netts out to the same thing).

I think this has been overlooked, teamsaint. As Ireland did, an Independent Scotland in control of its own rates and rules for corporation tax could be an excellent place to set up headquarters for large, foreign multinationals. It might be at odds with the left-leaning Scottish body politic, but potentially luring billions in tax revenues to Scotland might see its leaders replace principles with pragmatism pretty bloody quickly. As has been said below in support of companies threatening to leave Scotland, the management of publicly traded companies has a duty to act in the best interests of its shareholders. A 7% (arbitrary figure) flat rate of corporation tax might equally see one brand of corporate pragmatism replaced with an alternative form of corporate pragmatism if more of the figures in the spreadsheet turn green instead of red. Perhaps there will be another form of off-shore industry in Scotland?

Mods? Toke's had his account hacked by someone that can deploy logic, construct an argument and command the English language. Whoever you are, we want Toke back!

Oh Toke, you found the CCTV of the incident. That brings back some memories.

Yeah, that's the wig that makes me 6'2" Halo. BTW "Cleaning your glasses" has become a popular euphemism with people of a certain age down Gosport way. For the younger viewers, Jane is the one on the left, or the right, I can't remember now. I think Jeffrey is the one on the right, and for the record he's definitely "cleaning his glasses". Also for the uninitiated, Bungle (the furry thing in the middle - the middle of the picture that is, not the middle of Jane) was a very camp bear. Art imitating life?

It's best that one does.

Or you could swallow your pubes and stick Haribo to your feet? For the record, we're all still waiting to see a picture of your ring.

Good idea you . Sorry about that Gay Boot, I was only kidding - didn't mean to come across as all nanny-state on you.

Oh Gay Boot, how dasappointing(sic)! I think the term on here is "whoosh".

Did you Gay Boot? I'd check again if I were you. All I can see is that you spelled "whether" incorrectly. See teacher after the lesson.

Good shout re the 70s barber shop, Folly. As I said, men want to be me, women want to be with me - and now you can see why. Deal with it, or I'll do you! I'm surprised that you came up with that barber's shop reference; I wasn't sure that they had barbers in the 70s in Wales? Isn't it? That reminds me of an anecdote from my childhood in Gosport in the 70s involving the barber shop that I used to entrust to secure personal hair encuttments (all of them). The story has gone down in local folklore. Are you sitting comfortably? Good, then I'll begin... One of the barbers (a woman) was attending to a customer when she became aware that he was playing with himself under the protective gown that they wrap around your shoulders. Apparently she tried to ignore it at first or so the story goes, but as she started to make out what she took to be longer and longer strokes of the shaft, she hit him over the head with a hairdryer. There was blood everywhere and he had to go to hospital. It turns out that the gentleman in question was cleaning his sunglasses under the gown. (not a euphemism) It made the papers and the barber in question moved on. This was a great personal loss to me as she used to cut my hair from time to time. She reminded me of Jane from Rainbow, and I was aware of a strange tingle somewhere deep inside my body every time she touched my "head". To this day I don't know what that tingle was, except that I've experienced it twice since - amazingly on both occasions it happened almost 9 months to the day before the birth of our two children. I imagine that I must have been thinking that "Jane's" hand at some point would have almost certainly touched Zippy and Bungle too, and that by extension all of us were now in some strange way 'one' in the universe. I can't think what else it would have been. Re Turkish posing for me? You're right, he agreed because I have a super-long glans - which fortunately is in proportion to the rest of the structure. Some people don't suit being bald (hence my wig), but some, like Turkish do (Despite looking like the before picture from a Cadbury's Smash advert). For mash get Smash. OK, I'm out of 70s references now. Shame I couldn't fit in a reference to The Tomorrow People, Love Thy Neighbour, Chip Club (books bought from the school) or Debbie Does Dallas.

Not quite Halo! Bletch Turkish

Is it the size of the car, or the use of the word Hobbit, papster? The forum needs to know; are you a hobbit? I demand to see photos of your feet and your ring (again). Perhaps we should do feet size next, or ratio of feet size to height? I guess that ratio is exceptionally high for you hobbitses.

Oh I love word quizzes, trousers. Is the word serfs?