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Saint in Paradise

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In other news, C*nts Corner has been hacked and relaunched. This made me chuckle, Grumpyc*nt is like a pensioner version of bearsy:


I was giving Mrs Grumps a right royal seeing too the other day and powering in like a champion when I felt the sudden urge to fart. Knowing this would be a passion killer and a waste of good Viagra, I clenched arse and tried to ignore the firestorm trying to burst through my starfish. In a desperate attempt to race said fart, I changed up a gear and started pounding in like a crazed Galapagos Turtle on speed. I was going so fast I started getting friction burn on my length and was in considerable pain so I reached for the KY jelly but to my horror I vaguely remembered eating it on dry biscuits after smoking a number the week prior as we had no food in the house. With all this on my mind, I proceeded to lose my erection. In a desperate bid to restore order I focused all my effort on flexing my cock muscle to finish the job but by doing so relaxed the considerable tension required to keep my arsepipe firmly shut. The results were disastrous as I let forth a tremendous fart the velocity of which was so great it propelled my forward, head-butting Mrs Grumps and knocking her out cold. Things only got worse when I looked behind me and realised I had misdiagnosed the need to fart and had actually thunder sh*t all over the new bed covers. When Mrs Grumps came too and asked what happened, I told her she shat the bed when she was out and she was a dirty c*nt. She would not let me finish my sh*g however the rude b*tch.

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