Halo Stickman

Moor Park? No thanks.

Shepherd’s Bush. It needs trimming.

Hammersmith – the bastard deserves it.

Completely consumed by the white heat and frenzy of the fast developing story breaking live before my very eyes, first time round, I managed to miss the sinister outline of the bloke captured on the left of this photo. Great spot, Tokyo! Has there ever been a more wonderfully surreal moment in the entire history of the forum?

Nice one, Pap

Nice one, Barry.

Respect to you for that, pap.

Damn, Mrs Stickman’s just arrived home!

Christ, it’s gone hellishly quiet

This must be what it’s like to watch a snuff movie

It's the old smoke and mirror trick. Get out pap!

Looks like another dead person to me

Where's the rest of the customers? Was it something you said, like?

The sight of that gaudy décor would be enough to make anyone s***.

I reckon Barry’s just playing hard to get with all this no drink nonsense.

You're right, Bearsy, woman just don't understand - this is man stuff.

And now, for Barry and pap, it’s that period of quiet anticipation, last minute preening in front of the mirror, a little pouting, mood music in the background, checking everything’s in order, trying on different shirts, wondering whether or not to take flowers, rehearsing opening gambits, choosing the right aftershave, and watching the clock tick, tick, tick… oh so damn slowly. All that tension, that bottled-up tension, about to be unleashed. I don’t think I can stand it any longer.

Can you believe it! Mrs Stickman’s just rung – she’s been delayed, now due home just after nine. Thing is, rather irritatingly, she insists on a chat when she arrives home. I’m gonna miss the main event FFS. Don’t suppose you fellas could move this thing forward or back by 15 mins or so?

What time are you chaps setting off for The Fulwood? Have I got time for a quick bite to eat before the main action begins? There’s nothing like the sight of a dead woman in a curry house to get me a bit peckish

Is that a dead woman in the background?

I'm surprised people need that type of signal in a pub called the Fulwood

Who is this mystery signaller?

Lindisfarne concert? I doubt that augers well for a successful night at The Fulwood

Any pointers on what your opening line might be, Barry? “Let me help you out of those wet clothes” seems to work with Peter Barlow on Corrie, but might not go down so well in The Fulwood, perhaps?

I would be surprised if they’ll not erecting a grandstand in the Fulwood as we speak.