Halo Stickman

17.18 Barry, I would like to wish you and pap a happy and successful evening.

Cannon to right of them, Cannon to left of them, Cannon in front of them Volley'd and thunder'd; Storm'd at with shot and shell, Boldly they rode and well, Into the jaws of Death, Into the mouth of Hell Rode the six hundred. Sorry, wrong thread.

It took me several months to realise my local had closed down – I thought the new barmaid was struggling to change the barrels.

So, pap, are you going to supply us with live updates of tonight’s events? I need to rearrange my evening accordingly

Maybe the hitman’s gonna strike before pap actually gets into the damn pub – save Barry the cost of a pint.

Didn't Dr. Harold Shipman say something similar?

This situation calls for a neutral third party in addendance. Is there no-one nearby who could fulfil such a role? There's better nights out, I know - but there must be someone prepared to take one for the team

Not stopping for a drink yourself is the sort of thing you do when your plentyoffish date turns out to be more offish and less plenty.

Surely, it's not gentlemanly to leave pap drinking alone in that sort of place, Barry?

Hitman’s due in at 9pm, gives him 5 minutes to get this stuff together. Pap, is there any noteworthy last words you wish to leave the forum before you go? “I’m just popping out, I maybe gone for some time”, I’m afraid, has already been taken.

One of the few ex-Soviets I’ve ever met was a dishevelled drunk in the back streets of Tallinn, Estonia. He was probably early-thirties, but looked like he’d been living rough for a long, long time. He cut rather a menacing figure as he stumbled towards us; one which caused Mrs Stickman to gather our young sons towards her, whilst cursing me under her breath for once again leading my family off the beaten tourist track. In almost perfect English, he introduced himself as ‘Angel’, and asked for a cigarette. I took out two, and, in the time it took us to smoke them, he told me his life story: conscripted into the army by an ‘occupying’ government he detested, sent to Afghanistan, usual horrors, now left behind by the pace of change in his newly ‘liberated’ country. Before taking leave of our new acquaintance, Angel asked if we could spare him some money. I was a little surprised he didn’t follow us back to ply his trade on the beaten tourist track, but perhaps people like him were discouraged from frequenting the sunnier side of town. This little scenario could have been played out in countless cities around the world. Realpolitiking, governments jostling for influence and power, it’s largely the same the world over. Invariably, it’s people like Angel that end up paying the price.

Only if you’re happy to run the risk of being imprisoned or horse-whipped.

Possibly getting increased airplay in certain Ukrainian regions at the moment: Pussy Riot’s Punk Prayer 2012: “S***, s***, holy s***. S***, s***, holy s***. Virgin Mary, Mother of God, banish Putin, banish Putin, banish Putin.”

One thing we could do: take the 2018 World Cup off them, play it here instead. May not get Putin quaking in his boots, but would make me happy.

So, just to make it easier for pap tomorrow night, which one of those is Barry?

I’m expecting nothing less than for ITV to bring back Sir Trevor McDonald: “and finally, from The Lodge in Liverpool, a meeting they said could never happen…”

Would things have been different if Ukraine hadn’t given up the nuclear weapons it inherited from the Soviet Union?

Just watched an interesting Horizon episode called: “How You Really Make Decisions”. http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b03wyr3c/Horizon_20132014_How_You_Really_Make_Decisions/ It starts off by talking about what the expert calls ‘System 1’ and ‘System 2’ of the brain (I think some people refer to these as the ‘Unconscious’ and ‘Conscious’ parts of the mind); and then goes on to talk about ‘Inattention Blindness’ and ‘Decision Priming’, etc. All this is fascinating, but, IMO, the best bit occurs, after about 27 mins, when they start talking about ‘Cognitive Biases’. Apparently, so far, they’ve discovered more than 150 of these brain system malfunctions, including ‘Present Day Focus Bias’, ‘Loss Aversion Bias’, ‘Risk Aversion Bias’, ‘Spotlight Effect Bias’, ‘Ikea Bias’, ‘Confirmation Bias’, ‘Over Confidence Bias’, and my favourite: ‘The Halo Effect Bias’. Has anyone spotted any of these biases on here, over the years? Or any other new biases, so far unknown to Science?

Let’s hope any British responses to the situation in Crimea will be better conceived than some of those in former times: 'Forward, the Light Brigade!' Was there a man dismay'd? Not tho' the soldiers knew Some one had blunder'd:  Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die: Into the valley of Death Rode the six hundred. 

If a relegation scrap is a kebab and hard liquor at the cheap end of town, and winning something is fine food and champagne in a top restaurant, then mid-table is a meal and a bottle of wine at home with the missus – a contented glow of progressing achievement, albeit... ( making sure Mrs Stickman’s not about)... a bit dull. We’ll finish mid-table.

Did Gill and Fusion gel? That must have made Jack foam.

Couldn’t you two just organise a sponsored get-together at a mutually convenient time and place. If you post a video of the two of you having a chinwag and a pint together, or just chinning each other, (blur the faces if you like), then I, for one, will donate a fiver to your chosen charity.

If that sh1tty dog gets involved, this thing could easily go viral.

This is starting to sound like an episode from GM’s life story. I’m expecting a blow-jobbing secretary to pop out at any moment. If it’s the one above, can I come along tonight as well?

You mean some of those little kids ended up in a worse place? Tokyo, please don’t tell me it was the global warming thread FFS! That would be just too sad to contemplate.