Halo Stickman

I assume you're referring to his attack on the Palace fan? Not sure Ferguson would have been so keen to have Cantona back if he’d assaulted a team-mate – only Fergie himself was allowed to do that (allegedly).

Definitely this! It's important not to get one that’s too big My mate kindly gave me his old Oakfire cast iron woodburner for use in my workshop (12’x10’). I don’t know what its kW rating is, but size wise it’s about 18” x 14” x 10”. The problem I have is it gets the place too damn hot! I guess that overall heating output is also influenced by the length of flue, and whether it exits the room through the wall or up through the ceiling; or whether it's exposed, or goes up an existing chimney? Mine is exposed and goes up through the ceiling, and even though it’s double-skinned for its entire length it still gets hot, adding to the overall heat output. Also, make sure you source a good supply of cheap well seasoned wood!

Perhaps he’s upset about recent departures – a lot of us have been feeling very low since poor Hayley’s suicide

…and a 30 a day habit! So much for the impotent droopy fag photo on the back of cigarette packets.

He’s been a liability since day one – some refs would have sent him off for the 2 reckless challenges he made on his second half debut against Sunderland.

About 3 years, Tim – a lot longer than it will take for full-blown hostilities to resume on here i.e. about 3 years longer

+1.

Well if nothing else, KL has achieved one thing: erstwhile combatants coming together as one to applaud her statement – it’s like Christmas Day 1914 in the trenches; I’m expecting a game of football to break out at any moment. As another leading lady once said: “where there is discord let us bring harmony”.

Very pleased with that statement – I’m starting to think that KL will be around longer than I thought.

FC, I can see the point you’re making, but the problem I have with it is this: you appear to be suggesting that clubs not giving a ‘flying folk’ about their loyal fan base is something new; I’m not convinced it is. When I first went to football in the 1960s, fans were herded onto rain and windswept terraces and packed in like sardines. Being very difficult to move, it was almost impossible to get something to eat or drink, and, woe betide, if you needed a p iss, or, even worse, if the chap behind you needed one. And, if you were short, like me, it was very difficult to actually see anything – at the famous Forest 3-3 Saints 1977 cup match, I didn’t see a single goal! And, I haven’t even mentioned the violence within the grounds. Now, I know that some people are nostalgic for these times; indeed, there are occasions when I, too, find myself reminiscing fondly about them. But, if you check out the attendances for the early 80s you will find, nationwide, they fell quite sharply – largely, because people tired of being treated like cattle. It was only when clubs started to take their fans more seriously, and, with the help of TV money etc, improved their facilities and offered their fans a better match day experience that attendances started to rise again. My concern is this: if clubs become complacent with their fans once again, then we are likely to see history repeat itself – old and new fans alike will become disenchanted, and attendances will fall again. Because, whether it’s from their partner, company, government or football club, people will only put up with so much sh it before they walk away.

Yep, and finance was probably more important than rebranding in attracting the likes of Osgood, Ball, Keegan and Shilton to the plucky little club on the south coast – although, of course, that’s ancient history, so I’m very sorry for mentioning it.

Related to myth 1 on Dan Snow’s list, Steven Pinker’s The Better Angels of Our Nature contains a list compiled by Matthew White, entitled the 20 Worst Things People Have Done To Each Other, where the death tolls are similarly ranked as a proportion of the world population at that time. I was quite surprised to see that WWI only comes 16th in the list. If anyone finds anything contentious about the list can they please take it up with Matthew White, and not with me – I hadn’t even heard of some of these events before I read Pinker’s book! http://necrometrics.com/pre1700a.htm#20worst 1. An Lushan Revolt (8th Century) 36,000,000 deaths 2. Mongol Conquests (13th Century) 40,000,000 deaths 3. Mideast Slave Trade (7th to19th Century) 19,000,000 deaths 4. Fall of the Ming Dynasty (17th Century) 25,000,000 deaths 5. Fall of Rome (3rd to 5th Century) 8,000,000 deaths 6. Timur Lenk (Tamerlane) (14th to 15th Century) 17,000,000 deaths 7. Annihilation of the American Indians (15th to 19th Century) 20,000,000 deaths 8. Atlantic Slave Trade (15th to 19th Century) 18,000,000 deaths 9. Second World War (20th Century) 55,000,000 deaths 10. Taiping Rebellion (19th Century) 20,000,000 deaths 11. Mao Zedong (mostly government caused famine) (20th Century) 40,000,000 deaths 12. British India (mostly preventable famine) (19th Century) 17,000,000 deaths 13. Thirty Years War (17th Century) 7,000,000 deaths 14. Russia’s Time of Troubles (16th to 17th Century) 5,000,000 deaths 15. Josef Stalin (20th Century) 20,000,000 deaths 16. First World War (20th Century) 15,000,000 deaths 17. French Wars of Religion (16th Century) 3,000,000 deaths 18. Congo Free State (19th to 20th Century) 8,000,000 deaths 19. Napoleonic Wars (19th Century) 4,000,000 deaths 20. Russian Civil War (20th Century) 9,000,000 deaths 21. Chinese Civil War (20th Century) 3,000,000 deaths

Convince those concerned that attempting to win the odd cup competition every now and then isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

The one that leads up… and then down a bit… and then up …and then down a bit… and then up, up, up and away, yippee. Note to self – get matron to check my medication levels next time she’s round.

…or this company is one of many that employ people to scan the internet for links pertaining to them, so that they can promptly categorically deny any they perceive as being negative to their brand image?

No, but most of it can be summarised in a scrotum sack

Now that MP has committed his self to the end of the season, I think everyone – MP, the players, the fans – should forget about next season for a while and throw everything into winning the FA Cup. We may never get a better chance.

Come on get on with it – Escape to the Country starts in half an hour.

I think there may be something in this – the nice Taiwanese lady I visit on Wednesday nights said, “quik, the don he com bak soon.”

More commonly known in Corteseland as NoBookgate

They just used to lump the ball up to their Norwegian centre-forward Onme’edson

Don't tell me the toilet cleaners have left as well

...and smoking under the stands, no dammit, let’s have in the stands, no dammit, forget the stands, bring back the terraces! Let’s seize this opportunity to hand the Beautiful Game back to the working man!!

Let’s make one thing clare: Balding has got a fine bush of hair – Sue Perkins told me.