Coxford_lou

Not a bad idea actually. Thanks Bearsy! I'll let you know how I get on!

NO ! Why would I want to put myself in the position of being disappointed? Guys brag about doing it ten times, but I don't think they're physically capable.

FAIL !!

Do you mean me? That's core to everything I've said today... So I don't understand....

Yeah!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, but guys are good at false promises. He'll say he's up for it, but he won't be able to deliver...

Yeah yeah yeah, innocent, mischievous little Bearsy. Lots of thumbs ups and exclamation marks. It's all a facade!

I've yet to meet a man who is capable of it ten times a day. Women on the other hand.... Just saying.

It is the problem. Then guys get paranoid about approaching a girl they like in case it's seen as sexist. It's all interconnected, impacts everyone, and takes the fun out of it. I like compliments, and fun banter! If a random person decided to pay me a compliment, I'd be over the moon. But saying 'nice tits' 'cheer up love it's not the end of the world' or 'f*ck off you b*tch, I only asked you out because I felt sorry for you' or the other little regular incidents that women have to put up with every day, are not nice compliments or fun banter. More like people trying to assert their control or dominance over something they want.

Behave, Bear!!

Only reason for that, is people say daft things on here. Most of it I don't respond to. Every now and again I do. This topic was a particular example of that. I was flabbergasted that more than one person responded to a story about a football player being arrested for having sex with a 15 year old, with a 'woe is me, how will this affect me in nightclubs when I'm not sure how old the person hitting on me is' !! Anyway, I'm done on this topic. The more I respond, the more if feeds the impression I'm a feminist bore.

That's the trouble giving examples, light on detail. It's easy to pick them apart. And it's tricky, because you've not met me, so you've got no way to judge if I'm the sort of person who would make a fuss over nothing. All I can say is, believe me, the examples I'm giving you are not a case of some nice fun flirting. Or making a move on someone you like. Really.

It's in the workplace. That's the big difference. And it's not nervous glances, it's obvious and direct to the point my team mates talk about it.

Except I've already covered the fact you don't think it's common. It's very common, it's just not aimed at you.

I guess treating a woman as an object to leer at in the workplace is sexist.

[ladmode] Are they staring at your c*ck? Tell em to go s*ck on it! [/ladmode]

Where is KRG anyway - all this talk about him - he should be on here defending himself/basking in the glory!

It's not rare, it's just more subtle. To the point that if you're not experiencing it first hand, you won't even be aware of it. But the consequences are still the same - women having to modify their behaviour. I'll give you some examples I experience that grate under the surface, but I just get on with it. (as defined by @eveydaysexism as "serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest.") - going for a run and some bloke shouting out "nice tits". (That's not complimentary at all, that just makes me paranoid my sports bra is doing the job it needs to, makes me self conscious and embarrassed if anyone else hears it) - being chatted up in a bar by a guy, giving a polite refusal, to which he responds with a nasty insult (really upsetting, and can stay with you for days). - avoiding a street where you know you'll get comments and stares from leering guys, (I now take a slightly longer but potentially more dangerous route). - the guy and work that would direct his stare at me every time he'd walk past my desk (as a consequence you're on your guard constantly as you don't know where that could go). They are all small examples, but they build up to the point where you're constantly on your guard, or feeling like a monkey in a zoo. I'm a bit older now, but when I was a teenager, me and other girls would get this kind of harassment every day. (As well as the other end of the spectrum: flashers, guy rubbing leg up against you on the bus etc). Which you'd spend a lot of time going out of your way to avoid, or just modifying your behaviour (ie. Not going for that run) as it was too embarrassing. I don't think this forum is sexist (I wouldn't spend 5 minutes on it if I did!) and in my normal life, this is a topic I rarely talk about. But when someone does say something on here that's a bit outrageous, I pick them up on it. Or puts down women in sport. More often that not, it's the hypocrisy of attitudes that gets my goat (Manchester woman vs nights in Europe - one provoked outrage, the other gleeful excitement!) But that's not a criticism to you as a man or as an individual. Im just giving a different perspective on behaviour that has been normalised for many years. In the Manchester girl case, any women would think the same as most on here, on a topic like that. Anyway, hope this gives a bit of insight into my POV.

I like Djuricic and Mane. A lot.

LOL!

Me neither. Especially when it's in the forum rules to not show porn! (Tho I did worry I'd jinxed our results by moaning about them... Ack)

St Chalet? Cute.

I've not picked that up. But he certainly covered all the points I would have wanted to cover on this particular debate, but didn't have the time to. Which was in response to some particular comments on here, rather than a more general discussion about how men view women. Most guys I know (including on here) treat people as people, whoever they are. But there's still a chunk of society who treat women as inferior objects. Every now and then, out of the blue, it will touch your life, and not be a pleasant experience. @everydaysexism gives a little window into that world. That's not a criticism of 'men' as a group. (Guys are amazing!) It's a criticism of individuals who don't know how to behave, and a wider society, who doesn't make enough fuss about it, or gives excuses for it.

I thought you had a wife? Story changes each week...suspect...

Why? In what way is he living 10 years behind?