Jimmy Gabriel's Halo

We don't want them here thank you very much, Mr Buctootim....!! This is not actually our non league footy team which is Worthing F.C. and plays in Div 1 South of the Isthmian League. It's a massive new project aimed at youth development in the town and surrounding area, part lottery funded I believe. Nevertheless, impressive facilities for the nippers when finished. Which wouldn't last long if those fishy fokkers got anywhere near it.

I'm not having that. There's one in Eastbourne...!!

A couple of songs from the Ivor Biggun LP - "The Winkers Song" and the other one about farting. And assuming I don't die without warning I shall be recording a speech which will start off with me sounding like I'm banging on the coffin lid...."let me out, let me out, I feel much better now...!" For some unknown reason though Mrs JGH objects. I have no idea why. I think it's funny.

Last day - down to the wire I'm afraid. It's 2 from 3.

...and just to pee off the skates even more the train service between Portsmouth and Brighton is severely disrupted today because of engineering works so the journey time from Fratton is about 2 and a half hours just to Brighton plus the journey to Falmer. Extra buses are being laid on where the line is closed but I really wouldn't want to be doing that journey myself... Which is why I have to drive to Southampton today and not have a beer or three in The Angel...

Hmm... I had an ex-sister in law tried a similar stunt to that - on members of her own family I might add...."Oh, the cheque in the envelope must have fallen out of the bag.." She turned out to be SO Walter Mitty/Billy Liar that my brother was awarded custody of their kids... That really is so LOW Corp.

Does anyone know if it's possible to buy men's winklepicker Chelsea boots or shoes in Southampton and, if so, where ? I thank you.

Call me stupid but I fail to see how a collection of buckets would be of any use to anyone let alone the skates.

At it again Sour mash ? You're a very nawty boy !!

Are you, even by the smallest teensiest weensiest chance, related to Mack Rill no matter how distantly.....?

Because you'll then realise that a few fans chipping in to save the club would be like trying to drain the Solent using a leaky thimble. On a very rainy day. Are you Jeremy Clarkson by any chance ?

Wake up to 5Live in the mornings cos I like to know what's happened whilst I've been ZZZZZing and as I drive a lot I listen to that or a CD or 2 during the morning. Other times (like right now) it's Planet Rock and Jazz FM on DAB (particularly recommend Robbie Vincent on Jazz FM on Sunday mornings). Solent for Saints away and for those of you dissing them you should try listening to some other local radios - the sports coverage on Solent is pretty good compared to some others. For those on t'interweb I can also recommend FIP Radio - it's a French station playing non stop music of any type from opera to heavy rock to punk to soul to jazz... anything and everything and no chat except for their news once an hour. Anyone living in Brighton will be able to hear this on FM as somebody in town is boosting the signal. Other than that nada. Here we are in 2012 and mainstream radio is still pretty carp.

Yes, i always wondered why he felt it necessary to discuss his toilet habits in the public domain. I'll bet the carpet in his house is very worn out and stinks of p1ss. A bit like TCWTB probably.

Hmmm, sounds a bit fishy to me. Very apt Mr Trousers.