ericofarabia

No .... we'd get knocked out as well for not completing the fixture ..... or as The Prem Rules dictate, we'd have to play Man U away instead.

Is that the sound of Susan Boyle gargling that I hear

Gonna be a tight squeeze in the taxi isn't it

On Tuesday night Storrie was saying that they hadn't rec'd any offers for any of their players .... mind you he is a lying ****ney wideboy and has probably had a few offers in plain brown envelopes that he doesn't want Mr Taxman to know about

Don't worry the Fake Sheikhs are working on other ways of raising the cash

No, No, ... thank you. I do Weddings, christenings and Barmitzvahs .... don't seem to get to do many of those here though

Dead Parrot Sketch.. (with apologies to The Monty Python Team ) The cast: Customer : Fake Sheikh Club Owner : Peter Storrie The sketch: A customer enters The PFC Club shop. Fake Sheikh : 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint. (The owner does not respond.) Fake Sheikh : 'Ello, Miss? Peter Storrie: What do you mean "miss"? Fake Sheikh : I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint! Peter Storrie: We're closin' for lunch and a bit of tax return book fiddling. Fake Sheikh : Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this football club what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique. Peter Storrie: Oh yes, the, uh, the Pompey Blues...What's,uh...What's wrong with it? Fake Sheikh : I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it! Peter Storrie: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.We are the worlds biggest sleeping giant don't you know? Fake Sheikh : Look, matey, I know a dead football team when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now. Peter Storrie: No no he's not dead, he's, he's a sleeping giant'! Remarkable club, the Pompey Blues, isn'it, ay? Best Fans in The world! Mr. Praline: The fans don't enter into it. The Club and it's massive fan base is stone dead. Peter Storrie: Nononono, no, no! 'they's resting! Fake Sheikh : All right then, if theys restin', I'll wake em up! (shouting at Farton Krap) 'Ello, Mister Football Fans ! I've got a lovely fresh skate fish for to fondle ... Peter Storrie: There, they moved! Fake Sheikh : No, they didn't, that was you hitting the cage! Peter Storrie: I never!! Fake Sheikh : Yes, you did! Peter Storrie: I never, never did anything... Fake Sheikh : (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO PO'MPEY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call! (Takes a player out of the cage and thumps his head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches the team plummet to the bottom of the league.) Fake Sheikh : Now that's what I call a dead football club. Peter Storrie: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned! Fake Sheikh : STUNNED?!? Peter Storrie: Yeah! The Taxman stunned them, just as the sleepin giant was wakin' up! Pompey Blues stun easily, major. Fake Sheikh : Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That football club is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and ****ged out after holding Arsenal to four goals at Notarf Krap. Peter Storrie: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for The forties and fifties mate. We were the best back then and held The FA Cup longer than anybody else in the whole wide world. Fake Sheikh : PININ' for The 40's & 50's?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home? Peter Storrie: The Pompey Blues prefer kipppin' on it's back! That way they don't squash the beautiful skate fish. Remarkable Fans, best in the land, innit, squire? Lovely fans! Fake Sheikh : Look, I took the liberty of examining that football clubs accounts when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it hadn't been put into administration in the first place was an IOU for 7 million quid from Harry nailed to the accountants door. (pause) Peter Storrie: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If we hadn't nailed that note there, the players and would have thought they weren't going to get paid ever. But now they think we have cash watch them fly up the league table .... VOOM! ! Fake Sheikh : "VOOM"?!? Mate, this club wouldn't "voom" if you put 80 million quid into it! 'E's bleedin' demised! Peter Storrie: No no! 'E's pining! E's a sleeping giant. Best fans in the world the Pompey Blues innit guv. Fake Sheikh : 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This club is no more! It has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed sold some players 'you'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-FOOTBALL CLUB!! (pause) Peter Storrie: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of football clubs. Fake Sheikh : I see. I see, I get the picture, and it's not a very good one. At least SFC were giving away pictures of trains when I tried taking them over. Peter Storrie: I got a skate. (pause) Fake Sheikh : Pray, does it play football? Peter Storrie: Nnnnot really. Fake Sheikh : WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!? Peter Storrie: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet) Fake Sheikh : Well. (pause) Peter Storrie: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place? Or shall we join Avram down the knocking shop? Fake Sheikh : (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

Would be nice to post this on a pompey site as well .... I'm sure they'd see the funny side of it

Bottom of the pond dwelling fish maybe? Wasn't JCL a commonly used term down the other end of the M27 when they got promoted to The Prem and suddenly started selling out matches at FP ... :cool:

I can't get the Saturday Night off, even with a lot of negotiations, so bitterly disappointed that it is on Saturday. Will prob have to make do with (hopefully :cool:) streamed coverage on teh innernet stone cold sober, instead of being well steamed up down teh pub taking the p*ss out of any skates, win, lose or draw

ITK or lucky guess

You'll have to do better with your smileys ... unless you aren't joking ... but there are plenty for that as well

A tad too much tinkering around maybe, unless either Perry or Jaidhi carrying knocks as well as Thommo. AP did say he'd pick a side to play a specific way against them taking into account their pitch ... maybe he didn't think Jaidhi and Perry would last the distance on a heavy pitch against a constant aerial barrage so went for younger players who were fresh having had the weekend off. Trouble is experience can count for more than running around. Wonder if this fixture was one of APs 14 must wins, or if he'll be content with a point?

..... Sunday would have been so much better. ...... for me anyway

Got to feel sorry for Kelv after all his heroics. Sounds like AP got outsmarted by their manager 2nd half, and maybe didn't react to it. The pitch sounded like a bit of a throw back to the 70's, divots and mud all over the place, especially the penalty area, not ideal for our cultured style of play

4 mins fergie time COYS

Oooops down to 15th ....

LOL ... had to do a double take at that

With the size of the crowd (3600) he'll be able to wave to each one individually at the end of the game

LOL Swindon winning 2-0 againts SAINTS .... the tater did mention they'd been in a pub earlier ...

Long throw by Antonio comes to zilch On the subject of crowds , the play off challengers Colchester v MK Dons managed a massive 3600 :cool: Good lay off by Barnard sets up Lallana keeper saves well.

I think he's referring to Farton Krap

Okay ... just our relay is behind and normally see "Yay" or "Feck" before the commentary gets to the incident :cool: LOL Hammers 1-0 up.

Christ .... be more specific :mad: ... assumed your reception was ahead of mine and that each of Davis's 2 saves and the Mills goal line clearance were going to be goals :mad:

Just KO off and Merrington already banging on about keeping a clean sheet .... but thinks BRIGHTON :confused: will come out all guns blazing Cardiff 4-0 up at Brizzle City ... they might get a draw yet (remember Peterboro a few weeks ago )