hamster

stevo, I don;t have time right now but will deffo have a tinker sometime this week. You are a star if this works mate, they are all laughing at me cos they say I need a new laptop (this one's 4 years old but with the odd re-install) does everything I need it to. He who lols last etc..... Cheers fella.

These are only £70 for 200, that's 35p each. hand them out outside praps: Have to order soonish to get them from Bradford though and check that they will do 200 all the same as the ad says 'mixed'.: http://www.halesown.com/inflatables.htm

btw Johnny, I am tachnically thick. You may regret taking this on, if so do not hesitate to say so please. It's not fair of me to take up your time. Seriously, even I am off to the pub at nine and only I sit on my arse all day. If at any point you think that I just won;t get this I could send you what i have so far (the 'Hamster and mrs hamster' version of course and you could send it back finished?

btw Clapham, sorry but you are going to have to talk to me as if I am an idiot on this one. I won;t be offended if you spell it out, promise mate.

At home? I am using an old 2003 version. At work I am pretty confident that it won;t be much newer than that as you lot don;t pay enough taxes. ;-) Re the cf bit, I will tinker but please keep this coming as I am already up to half a zillion brownie points with JB's advice. PS JB, this will potentially mean that your Grandmother get's her annual review on time! Don;t do this for me, do it for your dear old Granny. I could suggest that we pay some chap with a degree a couple of thou and he will chain us to a contract that will see him safely into retirement, the choise dear taxpayer IS YOURS.

Aha, Eureka, you were on the right track Johnny but I have just tinkered with your faulty formula and can reveal that it should have read =SUM(B1+365)" You are obviously good though, please carry on MR Marco

First things first. I did as you said and put 01/03/2010 in Column 'B' My b/day) When I copied that formula into the adjacent (that means 'next to') the resultant date was '30/12/1900" :confused: I will attack your later comments once you have solved my problem if you don't mind.

As simply as I can put it, this is my dilemma. Currently I have a list of people's names in column 'A'. I have a list of the dates in column 'B'. For arguments sake assume that it is their birthdays in this column. Objective I need column 'C' I need the date to be exactly 1 year from the date in column 'B' I need this data (column 'C') to be replicated for each person (ie. each 'Row') bearing in mind that the dates in column 'B' vary of course. The really hard bit I need cell in column 'C' to change colour when the date is approaching (ie. at eleven months). I think that this bit is called 'conditional formatting'. If anyone can help it would not only save me a real headache but also get me one zillion brownie points. It may help to know that this spreadsheet is for people's annual review dates but for obvious reasons I can not divulge more than that. Cheers in advance. hamster PS Maybe one of the resident teachers might know a pupil who can resolve this one?? ;-)

Hi, In our house we now have FOUR laptops on the go most evenings, all sharing the one BT Homehub. When the GK's are playing their silly little games and the DIL is watching TV On Demand, I seem to get disconnected every 5 minutes or so. They recemtly discovered how to set the X-Box online so I am not expecting the situation to improve. Is there any way (as the administrator) that I can configure the modem thingy to give me the lions share of the bandwidth? I really would appreciate people's advice please in layman's terms? hamster

My DIL does Tax Returns for individuals including basic reclaims. If you have any probs PM me and I'll get her to advise you FOC. Seriously.

My Grandson watched it through his fingers, jumped and shook, then laughed as his Nan shat herself. Triple funny, well done. Now just need to try NOT to think of spiders as I try to sleep tonight.

Soz Dog that won;t open where I am right now, I shall assume it to be hilariously funny or scary as hell. Here is a lovely little game where you get to play with your very own spider. Click the 'options' (top right) and you can change the size of all his/hers attributes and feed the little cutey. I love it: http://www.onemotion.com:80/flash/spider/ Drag it around by it's legs, feed it by hitting the space bar and generally tease it to your hearts content.

Nah. More europeanis than european imho.

Can't believe it's been that long. It has flown by.

Every single time they start those Godawful Pompey Chimes we will take over and make them our own. 'Pay Up Pompey' will be heard across the World. You really could not write this stuff. With the occasional Knees Up it colud be a fantastic day all round.

/\ Posties? Pompey players?

Does this mean that teachers will outlive the lot of us then? Damnit!!!

In our last house we sanded the floorboards downstairs, purely because they were doing it on all the DIY programmes of course. When we moved here 3 years ago mrs h's asthma kicked off again, but we hadn't noticed that ot ahd eased before as we were not there that long. Last summer as a treat to my wonderful woman I decorated our front room whilst she was away for a few days, including sanding the floorboards again. Asthma, what asthma? It's as if she had never had it. The only time she gets short of breath and starts panting is when I want her to ;-) I blame that Walter Wall fella.

It was Ghandalf I believe who said something once that stayed with me. 'an eye for an eye, makes us both blind' I began this afternoon jesting and admittedly said some nonsense, albeit it intentional. Offending anyone was not my intention, if offence has been taken then I apologise.

Apologies if it's a cliche but.....

Right, I am off to fit a kitchen. My ex FIL taught me how to do that, ad I can;t recall him ever saying my opinions were a 'pile of steaming ****' nor did he ever tell me to 'get a grip'. Funny really as what he did do and very good at it he was too, was teach me how to fit a kitchen. He was wasted working for AC Delco, he should have/could have been a teacher imo, but when I suggested that he told me that he preferred working for a living. What a ****ing idiut he was, he could have been something important, the waster. Anyway, where's my new tape measure?

I wish you'd taught me, I really do, or would a 1970's Secondary Modern be below your obvious skills level. The best teachers are not the ones who teach clever kids and my friend IS A FACT. Pewrhaps the ones with the bestest grades or the cutest little bum in the public school dormitory, but no way the best at teaching. I sincerely hope that you don't teach them little angels that success can be measured by the size of the salary?

One question TLS, what should I gleen from "Last edited by Thorpe-le-Saint;"? Pleas edon;lt scritiunise my grammar and composition too closely, you will have a full time job and will fail more miserably than any of your predecessors. To quote my last school report "hamster tries hard...... ..........but fails" I used to worry about not being as clever as other people and it almost drove me to work in Aldi. Thankfully I bumped into my old History teacher and explained to me that most of the people whom he had taight me about, were complete nutters, that was what drew him tyo the subject all those years ago. And he was teached at Oxford!!!

Appleogies if it came across as elling you how to do your job. I come in peace. Would you in your professinal opinion say that single parent families should be excused these duties or at least only have to be responsible for half of them (that's 50% I think, you cheeky monkey). btw, seriously too. My secondary school was so bad that they had to re-name it. Honestly my friend, it is amazing how I turned out to be so perfect. What do you attribute your success to, parents, teachers or are you like me self-taught?

"You'll never make the station" with an attitude like that Hatch. Re 'Woolston Ferry' I was teaching the little bit I know to the others as we drove over the Itchen Bridge, it started a whole new converstion amongst the oldies with me about places and things that have gone now. I told them not to get me started but then the those two emortal words ejaculated from my lips "Arundel Towers" anyone? Anyone got a pic for me?