The minister announces at the funeral, "Would anyone have a few words of eulogy to say about the departed".
An admirer of the deceased gets up and begins, "I only knew Alan for a short while ..."
But he is cut short when someone yells from the back, "He's dead, get over it".
Another person pipes up, "Well, in the interest of balance, could I just point out what a ***** he was sometimes".
"Yeah", shouts a man from the back, "what's with the sycophantic crap".
The minister rolls his eyes and thinks, "Oh dear, why do I bother? People just don't understand the point of a eulogy these days. And I thought these people were friends and family?"