I don't care a great deal about this game, but I now find myself rooting for Saints more now just to annoy Alpine! Jeez, I'm getting sucked into his drivel.
My take on it.
Aliens don't really work.
Nuns need resting.
Weather reports are not detailed enough, so lacking firepower.
We need to go back to punching parrots up front.
So, the best song available for this player is one about masturbation. Does this mean he will go through the motions but never actually score in the real world?