FloridaMarlin

I'm waiting for the omnibus edition to come out.

Cattle drive in Montana. City Slickers anyone?

I like the bit in the article where they are supposed to be in line to sign Darren Shackell. Barnsley have turned down bids of £700,000 for him, and he is available to any club prepared to meet the £1m asking price. Where are p****y getting £1m from to sign players? If i was a creditor, I would certainly want to know how they can find £1m for a player, but not pay the measly 20p in the pound that I am owed. Absolutely no morals or conscience whatsoever. You would like to think they are first on the FL's hit list of clubs who should be living within their means.

Faced with the prospect of either being scratched off the FA's list for the England job, or becoming a lifer's wife, he'll suck it up and give up the other two. 'Arry is not the bravest person in the world. He certainly wasn't as a player, and will do anything necessary to save his own skin.

You're right about how slippery Saggy Chops is. There's no honour amongst thieves and it wouldn't surprise me if he strikes some sort of plea-bargain deal whereby he gives the other two up to save himself.

Perhaps what she had to say takes up part of the 2,000 pages of evidence the City of London police are said to have in their case against Redknapp.

Matthew Oakley used to keep Piranha fish in a tank at his home. He was always careful how he fed them. They had more bite than his tackles.

"The man is an imbecile, a sort of glorified car salesman type." A builder, actually, of pikey stock with lots of dodgy mates from whom he loaned money. They wanted paying back last year, hence he hawked Eddie Howe off to Burnley, having failed dismally to get Saints to take him and provide compo. Looks as though he needs to raise more money, so he's now trying to hawk players around. A season if struggle for those lovable cheery Cherries, I'm afraid. They had to get up this season or face the consequences. And the consequences are that Bradbury will have half his team sold from under him before the start of the season. Wouldn't have thought there was too much at the Fatness First stadium to interest us.

And, of course, having criticised our friend for his spelling and punctuation, I read through my post and find errors. I thought I'd get my retaliation in first. Anybody got any large stones? I want to put some ventilation holes in my glass house.

I'm sure the paper you work for has good subs to tidy up your punctuation and spelling. As we're talking journalists, a friend of mine saw Mark Chamberlain after a game at St Mary's before Christmas, and knowing him quite well, asked him what he doing for a living. With a wide grin and a theatrical wink, he said: "Looking after the boy." It's not difficult to work out that Alex Chamberlain is a pension fund on legs for his dad.

But the fact that they have not, or been able to get the players' signatures hints they are either not confident the Russians will take over, or know for sure that they won't.

And on a similar theme, 'Pictures of Lily' by The Who, or anything by 10cc or The Lovin Spoonful.

Let's hope as a freelance journalist you stick to broadcast work.

Is it still owned by the two Aussie gay guys? On a visit several years ago, they had Kangaroo steaks and Emu on the menu. I'm not inviting you all to write your own punchline to this. It is a genuine question.

Agree with Special K. Brussels is far from a cack hole, but it has changed from being a quaint national capital of a small European country, to the nominal capital of the EU, with all the associated crud you would expect of a town full of Eurocrats. They all clear off home at weekends, so hotel rates do dip. If you like your food, it is a great place. Belgian cuisine is very similar to French, but with bigger portions and you would expect a town populated by Eurocrats to be full of the type of restaurant they like to eat in. There is plenty to look at and see. The Grand Place is worht a look, and if you like your Art Deco, Belgium (and Brussels) was at the foreront of the movement. Good art galleries, and Waterloo battlefield is only 12 miles away. But if you're going to Belgium, go to Ghent. Everybody say Bruges is nice - and it is. But it's also full of tourists. Ghent is the same as Bruges - canals, lots of medieval Flemish architecture and loads of character - but is not full of tourists. I have rellies who work in and around the diamond exchange in Antwerp. Antwerp is a big lively port city, with a good Rubins museum, interesting cathedral and some good bars, restaurants and clubs. But it is a big, port city, with all the baggage that carries. It's worth having a day or two on the coast. Ostend used to be nice, but is a little run down and tired now, but Knokke-Heist is very nice. Funny enough, it's where the Euro MPs and Belgium's elite have their weekend homes, so it's a bit like Deauville in France (apart from the fact that they speak Flemish).

When they went into administration for a SECOND time, having learned nothing from the first time.

My brother-in-law is in international banking. I was talking football to him and the subject of p****y came up. He said: "These new owners are only going to take them over to launder money through them. Most people in international finance know that English football clubs are an open opportunity to wash money because of the lax regulation on them, and the word in banking is that p****y have been used for that purpose in the past, and can be used again." He then tried to explain to me how it is done by relatively simple methods such as inflating gates, mugging up hooky recepits and accounts to pass money through any part of the club that deals in cash, such as bars, catering outlets, club shops, or ticket sales, and also through more complicated methods that involve agents, and third parties. He lost me a bit, but if you use a company that employs biscuit tin accounting as a shell, you can wash a lot of money through fairly quickly if you are well-versed in the art.

My understanding is that if a player is in the last year of his contract and has not been offered a new one, or held talks with the club by January 31 (I could be wrong on the date, it might even be January 1), he is at liberty to talk to other clubs. I'm sure Clotterill has only spoken to those in that category. After all, he has the FA's former top man in Jed Clampitt to advise him on any potential breaches of rules and regulations.

Aren't the players he has targeted free agents? In which case he can probably talk to them. But if they are free agents, it pre-supposes that their present clubs don't want them for whatever reason, or that if they are any good, then their agents will be makling sure other clubs talk to them as well.

Ken Bailey. He was the self-styled official England cheerleader until he got caught up in a kiddie-diddling scandal. He used his cossie and status to turn up to any sporting occasion that took his fancy and blagged his way in. I recall him turning up at all sorts of big games at The Dell (normally involving the likes of Man Utd, Liverpool, etc) even though he patently didn't support either team. By then, the novelty of seeing him had worn off and as people worked out that he was poncing a free ticket to the game, he always got roundly booed. Not that it bothered him. He was pretty thick-skinned.

The toilets? Or would it be everything inside the exterior walls?

Is that because Noddy refuses to pay the ransom?

But they don't pay their taxes, that's the whole point. "The more healthy Pompey is, the more money changes hands, the more tax it will have to pay." P****y have had healthy amounts of money in the past, and it has changed hands. But they don't cough up their taxes. They really just don't get it, do they? I fear there is no point in explaining it to them as they just won't see it.

No mention of Lallana? And his pu****ation isn't great.

No, you don't have to sell your players. On the contrary, you send youth team players out on loan and add to the wage bill by signing Premier League players for £20,000 a week. Have we learned nothing from p****y?