Crab Lungs

On 17/07/2025 at 20:18, Saint Fan CaM said:

My word, makes you realise how poor team management has been. As far as Manning is concerned I hope Still is saying…

”The boys that want to defend can get back to defend. Yes Manning, that means you”!

He’s basically releasing them from the Martin’s vanity project cage 

RIP Diogo and Andre. 
 

Horrible, awful news. That family will be in pieces.

8 hours ago, goodymatt said:

I had already posted my response to this tragic news in one of the other threads before you even made this thread, so don’t try and paint me as something I am not. The thread title was originally ‘Diego’, I thought it is only respectful to spell his name right, that is all.

Yes, right now is definitely time for pedantry and semantics over spelling or typo.

My word.

I can't embed it so I might as well introduce you all to this pre-season summer BANGER 😄

And remember... Smallbones are good, that's what they say.

26 minutes ago, CB Fry said:

Black trim on the stripes.

Dimplex me right up!

1 hour ago, Nolan said:

Dull, uninspiring, deckchair revisited. 

They don't sell as they're so similar to our oft visited stripes.

The sooner we consistently move away from the barber shop sign the better.

Could not agree more. 

29 minutes ago, Badger said:

I think in a parallel universe where Bazunu hadn’t been injured we know how that low, to the left hand corner, shot from Dan James might have ended up …

(Await MLG with a ‘butterfly effect’ post, or whatever it was called …) 

That was one of the saves I was thinking of! He no way gets to that.

3 hours ago, Saint Fan CaM said:

We got promoted because Baz got injured and we had a marginally better keeper for a good proportion of the season. Add to that the injury to his already floppy wrists and the dire games he’s had since his return from injury and it’s not hard to believe he’d be a disaster. Best not to live in the past - everything’s moved on and if Rambo goes we need a new, equally as good keeper. That’s not Bazunu.

I believe this too. There’s no way we’re promoted with him in the sticks. 

3 minutes ago, Gloucester Saint said:

Did someone on here post a few years back that at the time CM played for us that he’d had an affair with their wife?

It wasn’t me as I was single in the early 00s!

I’d heard a story about someone walking in on him in a garage in Totton, completely off his face. Not sure if true though 😂

Holy shit I’ve remembered some more! 

when I was working in Alldays in Hedge End; David Hughes - once again, great guy. His brother is too.

Richard Dryden buying a reduced microwave meal, iirc it was sausage and mash I think 😂

Obviously, MLT and James Beattie in Jumpin Jaks. 
 

Franny quite a lot, what with me being in the building trade and him a property owner. Jason Dodd - what a voice. Kelvin Davis too, also in my line of work. I remember having quite a few conversations with him - was really surreal him pouring me a coffee and telling me about Pochettino’s pre-seasons 😂

I’ve got a few more off the top of my head from when I lived in Puerto Banus;

Trevor Francis, seemed quite sickly then.

Jesse Lingard and his mates strolling around looking all bling.

John Gregory, also in Banus, having a bit of a party one evening - a nice guy.

At one of the beach clubs, David Nugent, Steve Sidwell, Jimmy Bullard and Sean St. Ledger.

Didn’t speak to Sidwell or St. Ledger, but did with Nugent and Bullard. Bullard seemed hyperactive. Massive face. David Nugent called me a scummer, but was otherwise friendly.

In that same place, Calum Best. What a lovely guy, chatted for ages with him. Strange accent.

Bianca Gascoigne was intolerable. Stole quite bit of champagne from our ‘beds’. Proper rude hanger on.

Chris Hughton on the main strip. Then two years later, in China town in London.

Tons of football teams in all their tracksuits from all around the world during the winter break and sometimes pre season. Can remember some Japanese sides, Dutch, French…

… interesting place.

23 hours ago, Nolan said:

 

 

 

 

 

It was weird, like it was caught between real life and cartoons. Terrifying.

6 hours ago, Turkish said:

Obviously with my engagement in the CoT this happens a lot but when outside of the usual pubs, clubs sightings what’s the most unusual place?

for me

jamie Carragher a the ticket machine in Kings Cross c2017

Dean Richards in a London Road letting agency c2000

Toby Alderwierld coming out of a sunbed shop when  he played for us c2015

Neil Moss was definitely an advocate of a sunbed, 100%

I went through a period of bumping into Ken Monkou around town.

Not sure who was more perturbed, him or me.

9 hours ago, Gloucester Saint said:

Plenty of evidence of the chaos they’ve caused in local government already. Would you want IT people in their teens and early 20s accessing your personal information as they seemingly will be in Kent for Reform’s ‘DOGE’ programme?

 

Couldn’t give a shit if they’re 20 or 60 accessing my data - I’ve got nothing to hide. Besides, can someone tell me the perfect age to be handing someone’s data?

As always, my assumption (having worked for a council) is that the pushback on this is mainly those who are corrupt or dipped into the public purse themselves in one way of another. 

7 hours ago, Gloucester Saint said:

The dodgy tweets are rather a problem when they are meant to be managing Leicestershire’s adult social care budget in one of the most diverse counties in the country. If you’re good enough, you’re old enough but these two are miles away from being good enough to run a bath https://basw.co.uk/about-social-work/psw-magazine/articles/reform-councillors-aged-19-and-22-charge-childrens-and

It also has the serious outcome of probably being unable to scrutinise council officers properly. If you’re going to put lads that age in important positions, at least ensure they’ve got lived experience of being in care etc to draw upon. Just having a couple of random chavs with offensive posts from X isn’t good for anyone. 

I don’t like Reform, I get your points especially the lived experience part - that said, how many politicians these days have that? I’d wager not many and that’s probably a big contributing factor to the mess we’re in.
 

However - I’d personally rather someone like them as opposed to one of the Labour lot, as chances are they’re probably gonna nonce around if they haven’t already.
 

Or appease barbaric cultures.

Or line their own pockets.

Do anything or stoop to whatever low is required to have some form of power. 

Guys, it’s only the back of a football shirt.

I love it. Don’t care that it’s not striped at the back, if anything I prefer it. Great stuff.

2 hours ago, terrypward said:

 

Terry… my God, thank you. I trawled everywhere trying to find that! Thank you

2 hours ago, Turkish said:

ohhhhh interesting, do tell!!

Your hatred for Frazer Forster was pretty funny too

Still despise him. Just a wacky inflatable car dealership thingy with gloves.

2 hours ago, leesaint88 said:

Tub girl.... 🤢 Still can't escape that image.

I’m sorry. 😂

3 hours ago, Turkish said:

Your meltdown when they got rid of Nic Nac was funny too.

The why we are on a downward spiral thread was a classic as the two season which followed were some of the best we've had. 

Was the catfish you're referring to Amygate of turnstile A folklore? 

Yeh I was a big Cortese fan. I was adamant! I still think there’s a correlation of him going and our downward spiral 😉

Completely different catfish!

On 07/11/2023 at 13:27, hypochondriac said:

Montys turban 

Crab Lungs 

Colbury 

Redandwhitepanda

Rulebook ric 

Maverick 

Saintlee 

Javi

Dave Benson Philips

Benthelegend

Pap (was a weirdo) 

So glad you remember two versions of me 😂 thank you 😀

Still can’t remember which version of me posted the ‘Dear Bucket Rattlers’ post, I’m sure I took a photo of it at the time as I like to think it became board lore…

… I was so annoyed when I wrote it 😂

Who would be so sick as to post a picture of Tub Girl in the wee hours, and then delete it? 👀

I know who the catfish girl was who ensnared one of the mods on here. Wasn’t in the least surprised who slid into her DMs 😂

FWIW, I was also Monty’s Turban and Saint sausage. It’s fair to say, the moment Granty got a whiff of a banned Crab Lungs resurfacing he’d normally ban me again.

The early 00s were definitely the halcyon days of fuckwittery on the various incarnations of this forum. Had some great nights out with many of the people on here, socialised and played football with others and made some lifelong friends and acquaintances.

Griff (RIP) and Gemmel leading the firemen nights out. B-anter forum. Prick on a stick. The caged tigers (o rly, 28_f). Mr Green. Oh God, the memories. 😭

I can also confirm Gio’s leather pants and vest.

Failing upwards. 
 

a new societal norm.