Tokyo-Saint

Bear I have to say those scenes with you and the kids are disturbing. Although, with MJ and Jimmy S gone now, there is a vacancy.

Yeah, I always think it's strange when there is a big fight on the pitch or a streaker or something and the commentator says "Oh, nobody wants to see these sort of scenes!", I think sometimes this is exactly what we want to see, especially if the match is 0-0 and boring. Not the other stuff though.

Ok Jteam, Ready for another exciting and useful English lesson? Unfortunately, although most of Southampton is safe, like any big city there are a few dangerous areas and unsavoury people around. Of course, it is always advisable to avoid them (I am sure many of you J-saints fans have Charming Man on ignore already), however if they can not always be avoided you may find this lesson useful. If you do come across Turkish or Sour Mash on the way or way back from the game, these sentences may come in useful. 1) Take anything you want = Anata ga hoshī mono o toru or for the lower level students あなたが欲しいものを取る 2) Spare me my life = Watashinojinsei o oshima or 私の人生を惜しま In addition you may want to divert his/their attention so that you can escape. Nice shoes, are they Italian? = Sutekina kutsu wa, karera wa Itaria-godesu ka & What do you think of the proposed stadium expansion plans? = Anata wa, teian sa reta kyōgi-ba no kakudai o dō keikakuda to omoimasu ka This should give you enough time to run away, get to the stadium, buy something from the shop, get some photos taken and then get a season ticket waved at you from another stand. Enjoy your trip! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRerwXWTRjM&feature=related

Ohayo gozaimasu class, Genki desuka? Just before we start today's class it appears that some of us got a little too excited with yesterday's play time and one or two of the class have been following hanna sensei home, going through her rubbish, bringing up wiki profiles etc. Please respect that hanna sensei needs to be respected too, she is not just a big pair of tits. Ok on to the class. Last night when hanna sensei was telling me about her stalkers, we got on to the subject of her mouth and what kind of thing she could put in her mouth and that is today's word of the day! Mouth = kuchi Now let me assure you, hanna sensei has a nice kuchi. As we were planning this lesson, we spent a good period of time stuffing her kuchi with different things. Those of you that have been following the learn English with Tokyos thread will be aware that the kanji for kuchi is a square. This is probably the easiest kanji to remember. Think of hanna sensei's kuchi if it helps you to remember. More this time tomorrow! Matta ne! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n40KyBHeBCM&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I can only see him giving the guy a kiss to be honest. Serbians hate physios end off. That's it, full stop.

That had me in tears at points Tim. I laughed and cried, truly touching words, something in there for everyone.

It doesn't cheeser, that's the point. For example, 'add' means one thing in English, 'dress' means one thing in English but 'address' means something completely different. I guess it is the same in other languages.

Bear! This isn't for questions about Japanese, this is the balancer to keep the Japanese happy. Of course you ain't going to be loving this one, you already speak perfect English, that has been demonstrated on a number of occasions. Ok, just for you, Those pictures are called Kanji and each one makes up a basic word. The easiest one to learn is the square, this one means mouth. You can also make longer more complicated words by putting two of them together, for example if you put the kanji for in next to the mouth square one, it means entrance or the out and the square means exit. This is very important stuff to know, especially if you want to be getting one of these tattooed on your body forever. I once saw a guy in Bali, who was all beefcake like, walking around chatting up women and posing. A bit like Mark Wright on steroids. Anyway, this guy obviously went in for a tattoo and said I want the symbol for big or strong and the symbol for man. Put them next to each other as I am a strong man and these Asian b!tches need to be knowing that. The problem is, like I said, when two are together the meaning can change. This dude was walking around with Kitchen written on him. All the Asian birds thought he was like a magnet or Multiwood something & were s******ing behind his back.

Who knows?

Wrong thread Cheesy, this is the one for Japanese wanting to learn English. As a one off it is... Watashi wa, wareware wa futatabi ikutsu ka no gēmu ni katsu koto ga dekiru yō ni wareware wa kōkaku eru negatte imasu

Never teach people in their own language Tim, if at all possible anyway. Japanese learn English from 5 years old, sometimes earlier. They generally all have a basic grasp of English. The point of this thread is to teach them some phrases that may be useful when visiting our fair city and watching our football team. For your benefit: 可能なすべての場合は、独自の言語ティムの人々を教えることはありません。日本人は時々以前に、5歳から英語を学びます。彼らは一般的にすべての英語の基本的な理解を持っている。このスレッドのポイントは彼らに私たちの公正な都市を訪問し、私たちのサッカーチームを見ているときに便利かもしれないいくつかのフレーズを教えることです。

I know that the muppet show is a bit like the BBC and that everything must be balanced, this was pointed out by Bletcher when bear was reviewing 50 shades of grey. I also know that we have some new Japanese players and some new fans since we have become all premier league again. Therefore as a public service, I will be not only teaching English people how to speak Japanese but also teaching Japanese people to speak English. I don't time to teach you everything so I will just focus on the essentials, stuff you will need for a visit to St Mary's and maybe a night out on the town. Lesson 1 "You are so good" - this means "Anata wa totemo yoidesu" or "あなたはとても良いです" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YujSd3HhLvo&feature=related Minasan renshuu shimasho... Come on Toshi/Come on Bletchy/Come on Bearsy/Come on Scotty/Come on Cheesy etc

What about your favourite animal impression bletch? My top three are: 1) Owl 2) Giraffe 3) Walrus

I don't know about you but my favourite animal impression is the owl. I think it is very accurate. Hanna has done a good job here.

Let's walk before we can run Bletch. One word at a time with maybe the odd sentence to help with the pulling for our virtual tourists. If you really want, you can go here: http://www.classical-japanese.net/Poetry/komachi.html

Some people (bear) have been saying that my co-teacher Hanna (or Hannah in English) is mental. This is not true. I know a lot of you have been working hard on your Japanese recently. As a special treat, it is playtime with hanna and her pussy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFWrPfTcLHE

There are a few things you can have fun with bear, most of them in Japlish rather than pure Japanese. For example pussy is commonly used to mean cat. I have had a conversation before about someone having a new pussy and enjoying stroking it as it helps her feel relaxed. Cock is often used when they really mean cook or cooking. Lolz again "That guy's a cock" or my all time favourite "I love the taste of my husband's cock". Sh!t is a pretty commonly heard thing as sh!ta means did and sh!te means to do. Not as funny but still ok for asking funny sounding questions. If you are ever drinking with Japanese people say "chin Chin" for cheers (as French and posh people do). Chin Chin in Japanese means penis, good way of stating a date off, you know, say penis and then drink this. Kind of stuff Derren Brown would do if he was out on the pull.

Yeah Let's move this over to the Jap language thread as people might start losing their stiffy if we carry on here. Just to let you know, old boring Japanese men love their puns. I guess all old boring men are the same the world over...

Could do bletch I guess. For example the word hanna means flower as well as nose. In the past few days I have learnt it also means American bird with big knockers. Must be a confusing sentence in there somewhere.

Come on Bletch... Bletchley Park, enigma machine... I guess the message was too coded to be a good homeo thing.

What a guy! More of a laid back entertainer than a paper salesman.

I know mate. You told me before it was paper and printer cartridges and stuff, just joking to make you sound better. Truth time now - have you ever said to a customer "who does your tampons?" If not that is your mission for today. Apart from saving the western world that is.

There is only one way to attract MLG bear - get Turkish in here. MLG loves him, they are always chatting about stuff. There is now a Japanese thread on 3 of the main boards here and I only started one of them! I will infiltrate them and get Turkish over here. MLG will soon follow with all his stats and stuff.

Is that the guy who is like the pompey version of MLG for football manager? What you doing buying him dirty books Phil? Is Tony Hawkes a kind of tool? I just don't know any more.