bridge too far

Called compressions and rarefractions I do believe

I guess things must have changed then. I remember when my 'new' husband got a job in Scotland but we couldn't take it because my children's father objected to them being moved out of England! This was some time ago, mind.

Yeah I'm saying that too. Someone said they were surprised because they thought Oxford would feature higher than Southampton. I'm saying that although rents and purchase prices are higher here, so are wages. Whereas Southampton's rents are high and the wages aren't. That's why Southampton is higher on the list. OK?

You need TDD's input I reckon. I like Exeter but I might think differently if I was 22

It's the relevance to wages that matter. Rents and house prices are much higher here in Oxfordshire but then so are wages.

Go back to court to challenge it - that's what I would do, with or without a solicitor.

Apart from the maintenance you pay for your children, you mean? You should get back to a solicitor asap as, if she has a partner, you shouldn't have to pay anything towards HER upkeep.

We've got two arguments going on here. The topic, about the CSA, is showing just how flawed the system is and it obviously needs serious reform. I don't have an argument with that - I know too many people (mainly men) who have been very shabbily treated by this system. The question about access is for the courts to decide. If a parent feels that they're being unfairly denied access then they need a good solicitor on board to sort it out to everyone's satisfaction. But to say 'if you don't let me see my child(ren) I'm not going to pay' is using the child as a bargaining tool. And that's plain wrong IMO.

I think they're unfairly biased towards mothers in most cases. But back to my salient point - if you love your child, you'll do whatever you can, even if you don't have access. It's not fair on the child to use it as a bargaining tool.

All well and good TDD but what do you do about situations where, perhaps, the absent parent is, say, an alcoholic or a drug user or just plain violent? You can understand the parent that the child's living with not wanting the absent parent to have access, surely? If you're the parents of a child, you have joint financial responsibility. How that's attributed is for the law to decide. You can't use a child as a bargaining tool IMO. If you love the child you'll do whatever you can, emotionally and financially, whether or not you're allowed access. The child comes first. Well, that's what I think - as a mother.

Hey that's wrong! If she's a bank manager, she, of all people, should know not to do that! Is the account in his name / in a trust account? See if you can't organise something so that she can't access it.

And it's up to the individual councils concerned, not the ConDems. It's happening here in Oxfordshire because the council will no longer fund the partnership cameras. I think I'm right in that other (police) cameras will still operate. So I still can't put my foot down on the run-in to Oxford in case the cameras I pass are still live.

St Lard I was so sorry to read your post - you poor man. How old is your son? I know you'll keep in touch with him but do hang in there. I'll tell you why. A friend of mine had a ***** of a wife. She kicked him out and then he paid a small fortune, not only for the children's maintenance, but also the mortgage so his children had the stability you talk of. Even though the children were of school age, she resolutely refused to go out to work to pay her share of the cost of the mortgage and upkeep. She's dragged the divorce out for 10 years (yes 10!!!!) but finally it's happening. However, she's decided to go to Australia. My friend is in bits - he's a brilliant dad and does such a lot for those children. However, as his daughter is 17 and his son is 13, he's been told that they will have a significant say in where they live. Of course, he has no house of his own and rents a small studio flat so he'd struggle to house them if they chose to stay with him. As it stands, the daughter wants to live with him whereas the son doesn't want to hurt anyone so is in a really confused state right now. Keep in touch with your son - and when he's old enough, he can make the same choice.

Be thankful! The large amount of tax my son, particularly, pays now will more than fund your medical needs in your old age. He probably wouldn't be paying as much had he not gone to University - so thankyou for your kind investment in your future

From the other side of the fence, I'd say that it's fair enough that your ex-wife's new husband doesn't have any financial responsibility for your children. My second husband didn't for the children of my first marriage. Having said that, he was the one who provided a roof over their heads and paid for our holidays etc. I think being a father (or mother for that matter) is a life-long commitment for which we pay emotionally and financially. It actually worked out to our advantage as, when my children were going to University, their step-father's income wasn't taken into account and this meant they got full maintenance grants as my salary alone was used for reckoning and was meagre. I do think some fathers are treated very unfairly. I also think some mothers suffer a lot because their children's fathers wriggle out of paying what they should.

I wonder why this sort of thing is apparently happening so often these days (or is it that we just get to hear about it more)? Very, very sad. People must be in a very distressed and helpless state to do something as dreadful as this.

His house has been demolished.

Houses of Multiple Occupation. Usually applied to e.g. student rented houses / bedsits. There are special regulations such as fire doors, fire escapes and probably lots more.

soul

Donald

I think I agree with you. However, it would be difficult to implement. If the drawbridge was raised, suddently there would be a lot of BTL owners forced to give up their investments. Where would that leave the tenants? The upside might be that the property market became flooded with 'average' houses, driving down their values. BTW I'm not envious. I'm quite happy in my average 3 bed semi although I'm sure we could probably buy something a bit bigger. But we don't need or want to. I do worry about young people trying to buy their first place, however, and that's why I get cross about the ridiculous price of property.

force

Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yippee But there's truth in this argument as well you know. Must be right - the Torygraph says so: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/6832567/Bankers-bonuses-boost-price-of-luxury-homes.html http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23794400-bonus-belt-central-london-house-prices-jump-51-percent-to-conquer-peak-of-2007.do

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/motorsport/formula_one/8852918.stm How good would it have been to have a good old fight to the finish eh? And it was exactly a year ago Massa had that awful accident. How nice to have been able to celebrate his recovery with a win. Ferrari - the PFC of F1

And this is driven, in part, by the obscene bonuses paid to people in the financial sector. They buy up property in London, inflating the prices, and this then has a trickle-down effect, firstly on the south east and then the rest of the country.