pap

I've been clear on my feelings on Clarkson throughout. He's a bloke who deliberately courts controversy for publicity, going as close as he can before getting sacked. It's got bugger all to do with a culture of permanent hysteria, and a lot more to do with Clarkson and co deliberately setting out to offend. It's clear from your blog that you don't really have a defence of Clarkson. I don't quite know how you feel qualified to decide that there is outrage, let alone that it's fake, or that no black person (you know, I know) finds it offensive. I mean, if you'd polled at all, or had numbers somewhere, they'd surely be cited. You complain about the fakery of the outraged masses, but I don't think your piece contains a single verifiable fact. It looks like a diatribe against what you imagine left-wing university graduates to be. Says a lot more about you than Clarkson, I reckon. Soz.

Yeah, you say that, but it'd only take an "h" for you to flip like a burger.

He flipped like a burger.

And benjii calls me supercilious. If that's what you've derived from your dig into my detail, there's no helping you.

Defo. I will bear more Saints related stuff in mind next time.

"Never start a fight. Always be prepared to finish it", Captain John Sheridan's old man in Babylon 5. Words to live by. My posts will show that I'm prepared to give anyone's point of view a fair crack of the whip if they're being reasonable, even former foes, including you. What reply did you expect from your post? "Oh yeah, you're right there, Charlie. I hate Clarkson because he's a Tory. I'd never really considered that angle before. I was too busy laying down my precise pet hates." Agree with all of the above. Not self-aware, my arse

Ah Charlie, have you learned nothing? Being on the wrong side of an argument is my favourite place to be Good to see you've woven a bit of the ol' sexism into the Victorian Dad archetype. It's really coming along.

I'm expecting something akin to the collapse of Havana in Godfather 2 going by the reports. I apologise for my part in keeping Clarkson on your radar.

Your short fiction needs a bit of editing. I get the general gist, that people only care about the causes they're interested in. Have you ever considered how you can flip that like a burger? The charge can always be thrown back. It's just not worth pointing out because it's fúcking obvious.

You'll have to show me your satnav because sometimes, I'm not sure how you get from one place to the other. The violence was not fully justified but it is explainable. I doubt that either of us fully appreciates the depth of feeling in Argentina over the Falklands. I've seen the Argentinian arguments and i'm not convinced myself, but you should never underestimate the power of propaganda on a worked up mob. Depending on how cynical you are, Top Gear producers either underestimated the response or played it to a tee.

Not only that, but it'll kiss your badge.

Odd one out or you get nowt. Top prize is a barrel of Lallana loyalty.

Three are flippable. One doesn't flip itself, but flips others.

Pompey fans threw rocks at my missus and kids in Southampton once (aged 5 and 1 at the time). She's not a Sotonian, and wasn't driving around in a motor with "Fuk Pmpy" written on it. That was over the top. Exactly.

Poorly implemented. They didn't get him.

I love the simplicity of your mind, man. I write a series of diatribes saying exactly why I don't like him, but you come up with the emboldened anyway. It's obviously not too busy at the weekends. You should consider hiring it out.

I've decided to run the competition in many arenas. @DeppoInExile has got close, but didn't actually nail the exact reason.

F982 FLK 1982 Falklands As with many other things, own goal that didn't need scoring - although I agree that your quoted bit is tenuous.

That is an uncharacteristically top quality set of insults. Did you go cap in hand to your mum again, begging for cash to hire professional writers?

Probably number plate + a bit of rousing the locals through publicity. I'm sure it'll make for GREAT tv, and wasn't engineered one fkn bit.

"Big man" Jezza fleeing Argentina in terror. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/top-gear/11137879/Jeremy-Clarkson-stoned-as-Top-Gear-crew-abandon-cars-and-flee-Argentina.html Wha? They didn't appreciate your accidentally bought numberplate? Wah!

Which is the odd one out?

2034: Grandad PB: 'And then kids, I was like "Seriously, you're boring, do one"' Kids: "Mum. Can we go to our other grandad's please? This one's shít. We think he's seen too much Jeremy Clarkson and has turned out witless"

Easy, innit? Flips like a burger He fkn flips like a burger Flips like a bur-ger He fkn flips like a bur-ger

That's nice, but it's not an answer to the question. Seriously, if you want to use one of your 2800+ posts to come on here and tell me I'm self righteous, when the text evidently shows me having an articulate laugh about the many failings of your favourite blokey-bloke, Jezza, that's your right, as is your gratuituous second post that proclaims that we're not mates. When speaking to the grandchildren, you can let them know that one day, years ago, you used to be a brilliant academic that was so good you could mount a cogent defence for Jeremy Clarkson. But for fúck's sake, don't show them this thread as proof.