Dog

If the lads who were boycotting, had turned up, then there could've been more casualties.? ?

If it was a chav in a white shell suit, he got a good smack in the mouth.

F*cking rail works. It took me over 4 hours, 4 trains, 2 coach rides and a taxi to get home for 01.55am this morning. Next time I will stand on the right platform when getting a train home.

Bonio has a wonky left eye, that is why he always wear pink sunglasses from Superdrug.

Was that aimed at me mate?

It reminded me of Roots.

+ 1/2

What is the most humane or best way to kill a crab? I have 6 live ones in my fridge and I was told to stick a sharp object a bit like a skewer up its ar se and drive it through the crabs brain. I might as well boil them alive or suffocate them.

/\ Oh I forgot the main one... | | Females

Fuct up trains South Africans Making false excuses Birthdays Noel Edmunds Death threats

A anyone scottish. :snipe:

A pub landlord is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a Tramp asks him for a toothpick. He gives him the toothpick and the tramp leaves. A few minutes later there is a second knock. When he answers, there is a second Tramp who also asks for a toothpick. He gets his toothpick and off he goes. There is a third knock at the door, and a third Tramp. The landlord says, "Don't tell me, you want a toothpick too." "No, a straw," says the Tramp. The landlord gives him a straw but is curious as to why he wants it, so he asks the Tramp why he wants a straw and not a toothpick. To which the Tramp replies, "Some bloke just threw up outside but all the good stuff's gone already".

For the past week I've passed a young girl on my way to work, she sits under the bridge, asking for spare change. I got talking to her, turns out she's Polish. She told me how her family were forced out of their homes, had to live in the forests and hide from soldiers. She was forced to watch as her sisters and mother were abused by the soldiers, her brothers were shot and taken away to labour camps. Her grasp of the English language wasn't great. Her grip on my English c*ck, however, was fantastic. Best 50 pence I've ever spent.

Did you slide it down the hole like a pro golfer?

Wotte the f*cking hell was that, wotte the f*cking hell was that!

:roll: It's Errow In.

I was visiting a new building site yesterday, I needed a dump and used one of the toilets in the houses. After finding out there was no toilet roll or other useful material, I then decided to wipe my brown sauce on my right sock, and then my left sock, and finally my pants. Job done and back to work after disgarding my smalls in the airing cupboard. Several hours later, and several houses, a petrol station, a pub, a sandwich shop and a good walk down the high street, then something caught my eye as I was checking out the birds in the hair salon, a white ball of mystery was following my every move! No, it was my boxer shorts, the ones I disgarded in the airing cupboard, they must have lost a thread and caught up inside my trousers as I pulled them up, and now they were following me around town like a lost lamb. The skidmarks were sunnyside up and glistening in the afternoon sun for all to see. I am now shaving my head, growing a moustache and moving house. Just wondering what other items people have used in the call of duty? dog

Is the plastic scouser ginger?

Yes it was.

Nice Grifter Bates

RIP lads Tragic mistake.

Yeah, and one sugar man.

I am just off to work, should be finished by 2am if the moon still shines.

I watched the bit when he was drinking his own urine. Well a bloke down the pub said it was infact Lucozade and not urine.

The thread says 'bad news'.