Sevvy

http://www.newsnow.co.uk/A/532577998?-11209. Reduce the prices get more people in, and only get a small return in money, may look good on the telly a possible full house but at what cost,

IDIOT SIGHTING NO. 1 My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a 20 pence piece. She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.' She sighed and went to get the Manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but we do not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change.. Do not confuse the clerks at MacDonald's. IDIOT SIGHTING NO. 2 We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a moment, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two..' We haven't used Garagedoor repair since. Happened in Moor Park , near Watford . IDIOT SIGHTING NO. 3 I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the 'DEER CROSSING' sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars on this stretch of road! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' Story from Potters Bar, Hertfordshire. IDIOT SIGHTING NO. 4 My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried Chicken and ordered a Taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had Iceberg Lettuce. From South Oxhey , Hertfordshire. IDIOT SIGHTING NO. 5 I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' Happened at Luton Airport. IDIOT SIGHTING NO. 6 The traffic light on the corner buzzes when it's on red and safe to cross the road. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged friend of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She is a Local County Council employee in Harrow , Middlesex. IDIOT SIGHTING NO. 7 When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our Car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the Service Department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the Driver's door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door Handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'its open!' His reply: 'I know. I already did that side.' This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans , Hertfordshire. STAY ALERT! They walk among us...

http://www.newsnow.co.uk/A/531332984?-11205 Enjoy

Agree a legend, RIP Joe,

Its about time Lambert scored, so i am going for a 4 - 1 win with a Lambert hattrick,

http://www.newsnow.co.uk/A/530030634?-11209 Cant see how a corporate box will bring in an extra 5000 supporters into fratton park

Mind you gemmel that is 2008 - 2009 as Pompey still have not put in any accounts for 2009 - 2010,

Well found Gemmel, worth the read, deffo shows that the figures do not add up, Shame they did not do one just like that for Pompey.

RIP Jimmy,

He's not, and stop calling me Shirley

Childbirth at 65 Too good not to pass on, Enjoy !!! Another great one! With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth.... When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit. 'May I see the new baby?' I asked 'Not yet ,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can chat for a while first.' Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?' 'No, not yet,' She said. After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?' 'No, not yet,' replied my friend. Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?' 'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me. 'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?' 'BECAUSE I FORGET WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!' I took my new girlfriend home to meet my parents, we had a lovely evening and after she'd gone, my Dad leaned over and said "Son, I think this one's a keeper." "Awww Dad, what makes you say that?" "She smells of elephant sh1t." There was a blonde and a brunette in an elevator. On their way down, they stop to pick up another person also on their way down. When the person got on, the girls noticed that he was pretty cute. Unfortunately he had dandruff. Finally, on the way off of the elevator the two girls let the guy go ahead of them. The brunette turns to the blonde and says "Oh my god he's gorgeous! We need to give him Head and Shoulders." The blonde then replies "That's a pretty good idea, but how are we going to give him shoulders?"

West Brom are believed to be ready to send England under-19s midfielder George Thorne out on loan to a Championship side. http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/transfer-news/West-Brom-transfer-gossip-George-Thorne-is-made-available-on-loan-to-Championship-clubs-article821257.html Any good

Shame Markus isnt around to see this.

Done

Dont forget the £1,000,000 they owe Spurs for whats his face,

http://www.football-league.co.uk/page/DivisionalAttendance/0,,10794~20117,00.html For those who want to argue about attendances. http://www.newsnow.co.uk/A/524026342?-11209

http://www.newsnow.co.uk/A/523568355?-11209 http://www.newsnow.co.uk/A/523595531?-11209 http://www.newsnow.co.uk/A/523693758?-11209 This one probably means he's doomed

http://www.newsnow.co.uk/A/523568355?-11209 http://www.newsnow.co.uk/A/523595531?-11209 http://www.newsnow.co.uk/A/523693758?-11209 This one probably means he's doomed

Anybody else heard this about Pompey not paying bills again.

David Chell scores key role with Southampton FC 29th September 2011 David Chell has been appointed chief commercial officer at Southampton FC DAVID Chell, who spent a decade at Manchester CIty Football Club, developing its corporate hospitality offer, has landed a new role at ambitious Championship club Southampton. Chell, 46, who left City 10 months ago, has become chief commercial officer at Southampton, where his responsibilities include retail and ticketing as well as corporate hospitality. The corporate offer includes 47 boxes and a number of banqueting suites and lounges amounting to around 2,000 covers.

A large car park around a new Tesco's

Ho, I dont always agree with you on some things,but some times you make sense, But dont you find it a bit strange that Limpett came from a really good job at the FA to go to Pompey, now is he there for a change / challenge or do you think he is ther for more sinister reasons

http://www.newsnow.co.uk/A/522384072?-11209 They are not happy with the Clot

A woman walks in to HMV and asks the lad behind the counter, "Have you Jingle Bell on 12 inches" "Sorry we havent, but i have Dangle Balls on 10" he replies She replies "thats not a record", He replies,"its not far off"

Well did they go to court or did the judge fall ill again,