saintbletch

Correct. pap is on 5.

I'm really surprised that nobody has got, or even guessed at the first one from yesterday - post 288. I thought it was the easiest of the lot. No Toke, it's not Cheese on Toast.

Oh, takes me back. I was a much younger man then, I had my whole life ahead of me and everything and anything seemed possible. Despite our proximity and the apparent ease with which we seem to enjoy touching each other's flesh, pap and I were never lovers. Never intimate. Never even curious. Just really good friends.

It was an excellent pub Fowllyd with an excellent name that sounds like the punchline to a joke about the whereabouts of Michael Jackson. Very quiet when we were in there, but Tracey (?) the landlady said it gets very busy of an evening. Will definitely pop back in again, and I bet the the 'garden' area is nice in the Summer.

If I hadn't been wearing my Tena pad (for men), I would have literally wet myself when you guessed that it might have been you! Correct. pap is on 4 points.

Who else could it be, with chalet so prominent? pap is on 3 points.

Ding! pap has scored two points.

No, not Turkish.

No Bear, it's not. And I'm afraid you lose 8 points for that incorrect guess.

One point to the Bear.

Correct. Two points to Fowllyd.

Exactly so. One point to Fowllyd.

Correct! One point to pap. Oh, what fun!

Nope.

As I said yesterday, incorrect.

Oh, I see. You think it's funny to make me try to interpret which of the mountain of word clouds this suggestion refers to. Well, will you still be laughing when you're bottom of the TMS Word Cloudship Premiership Championship with a goal difference so negative that in years to come the phrase "Are you Tokyo in disguise" will be used to mock people who FAIL? Eh?

This suggestion has been disregarded by the judges because the hard-of-thinking poster DIDN'T QUOTE THE POST IN THE ANSWER! It's my fault though, I should have made that requirement clear by stating it for a fifth time.

Yes it certainly is you, Toke - as long as the question is "Who is the biggest, father-in-law-$hagging t**t in TMS?" But no, you were not the subject of any of the word clouds yesterday. Right, I'll go through and mark the rest of the suggestions now.

Turns out I'm "in the The black boy" in Winchester. This appears to not offend the sensors for some reason the I don't quite understand. Pap, isn't that narcissism to see your enemy as your own posts? Perhaps Fowllyd's brother will adjudicate? Ha hey.

No. Oh, that's beautiful. You couldn't make it up.

Fiendishly difficult (I hope).

Thanks Toke. But, as I'm going to be incapacitated later. I didn't want you all to run out of things to do. One more difficult one. Oh, and by the way Toke. I'm catching the bus, as it drops me right outside the pub!

EDIT: Correctly guessed as Shurlock by papster. Moderate.

EDIT: Correctly guessed as BlakeySFC by the Bear. Moderate.

The judges would like to remind those of a weaker intellect, that unless they cite the post number in their numerous, and woefully inaccurate guesses, then Tokyo-Saint's competition entries will be discarded.