saintbletch

Chuck Norris. Won't that hurt?

For a moment, I thought that you two ****wits were purposely derailing this thread because you didn't think it belonged in TMS, but then I realised you actually do want to discuss train derailment and the rape of Jennifer Aniston - a woman, BTW that has such temperature-sensitive nipples that she 'literally' doesn't need a central heating thermostat at home. Anyway, if you want to discuss such things, perhaps you could start your own thread, because an unintended consequence of your discussion is that this thread is being derailed. This thread must survive because it is a bellwether for the health of TMS. The more posts on the TMS Word Association thread, the poorer the general health of TMS. Nature abhors a vacuum. And to prove this, crouch mask replica, 3B, Dubai Philip, bridge too far, et al have been farting into the the vacuum of TMS through the medium of this thread. Farting one, Vacuum nil. Just as the riots the other year showed our politicians the general level of unrest in society, so TMS Word Association is a semantic warning, a palpable threat to The Man and his minions that the populace isn't happy. Toke's a ****.

Rob Gilbert. Why, what's he got of value?

Having a kick-about with a mate early on Sunday morning after a drinking session the day before. Yeah, I'd echo that, the first pint of cold cider after exercising. If we're talking less viscerally, perhaps the first real early spring sun of the year that reaches and warms your face through the open car window; signalling that warmer weather is on the way. Freudian, Whitey?

Very creative BTT; I didnt get that one. But in the words of the article-dropping Bear, I just wish you'd stop being cuntt. Yours, Nige B Cuntt. P.S. Got to run, I'm off out for a cuntt binge, for which I'm armed with my big c*** net, and am hoping to come back with at least ten big c***. P.P.S I do hope my creative spelling doesn't offend.

Largely, yes.

Favourite anagram from the name of Australian cricketer Ben Cutting?

Alas, not drunk my friend, just human. If I had but one ounce of your widom*, tpbury. (*I should point out that I am not a grammar or spelling snob, and whilst I do my damndest to ensure I spell and punctuate to the best of MY ability, I'm not a truly learned man). Experiencing, and the subsequent reflection upon, exquisite pleasure visited upon oneself by (ahem, apparently) hot, viscous fluid suddenly rushing into one's mouth, is a well-known precursor flag for latent homosexuality. #notblowjobberysnobberyjustsaying

predictable

If only we had a better thread than this, one that was dedicated to ALL the hilarious things about "words". I'll have to start one! P.S. I know somebody will simply type **** after this post, as if that was the first word that they associated with my post. Be warned, if you do it won't be big or clever.

Experiencing, and the subsequent reflection upon, exquisite pleasure visited upon oneself by the act of defaction, is a well-known precursor flag for latent homosexuality. #notfudgejudgingjustsaying Pompously disparaging threads about the exquisite pleasure visited upon oneself by the act of defecation, is a well-known precursor flag for latent heterosexuality. #not****braggingjustsaying

Hmm...from his LinkedIn profile... EDIT: I think Ernest's, sorry, Steve's pseudonym may be more about his weight loss/gym business, rather than being an attempt to mislead over a transfer.

Thanks for sharing, papster. Here's a project for, if you were to divide the posters on here into Star Trek factions, who would go where and what rank would they have? Oh, we could an hour of fun with that. Who is definitely Starfleet? Who is Klingon? Who is Borg? Who is just a complete ****? I'm most definitely one of the good guys. I'm Borg. And we don't have ranks - we are the Borg. (Is that right, pap? Could you check that in the Encyclopedia Geekannica?) You, pap, are Picard. Toke is Janeway, Turkish is, well I'm out of characters that I know now - but he's that baddy Klingon that wears designer Klingon gear and lifts KoorAnkhjiuDha (*kettlebells in Klingon).

I know, I know. I'm a lucky man, BTT.

That's true papster. The good lady Bletch would have no truck with Star Trek when we met, but she's just left the house on her way to work wearing the Klingon mask I got her for Xmas. (although, and I didn't want to spoil her day by telling her before she left, but the tricorder she's using at the moment is neither authentic Klingon, nor is it contemporaneous with her Starfleet issued epaulettes. The tricorder is a model J/12 and the epaulettes are from c. 2266 and are issued at the rank of Captain, yet no Klingon attained that rank until c. 2374).

But how can we be sure she likes Star Trek, pap?

Because I'm worth it?

You can't kiss someone's trust better, notnowcato. It was beautiful and fragile, and now it's gone.

Well, I haven't posted on here for such a long time that I'm not sure what I've read since my last update. Anyway... Wolf Hall, and Bring Up The Bodies - both by Hilary Mantel...Two absolutely stunning books. A completely consuming and all enveloping telling of the life of Thomas Cromwell and his rise from slum-dweller to Henry VIII's right-hand man. If you appreciate the art of novel writing and enjoy historical accounts/fiction, then read these first two books of the trilogy. As I said, stunning. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald...Had never read it, and I thought I should as I was going to see the film with a mate, and wanted to read the book first. You can see what all the fuss is about. It is very well written, and it's easy to see how it was genre defining. An Officer and a Spy - Robert Harris...Read it. Probably the best book of its kind that I've read in a while. It has an average review of 4.7 (300+ votes) on Amazon. That's very high. It examines the true story of Captain Alfred Dreyfus and his exile to Devil's Island for spying against the French state. Set around the turn of the 20th century, for many reasons his conviction and sentence are questionable and appear to have an anti-semitic motive. The story follows a young officer in the intelligence corp as he investigates other cases that lead him to question the safety of Dreyfus' conviction. It's such an amazing story, and so brilliantly dramatised, that it's difficult to comprehend that it is a true story that nearly brought down the French state. Nor Will he Sleep - David Ashton...I have a soft spot for David Aston and I stay in touch with him on email. I really love his grumpy Scottish detective Inspector James McLevy. It's a good series with well drawn characters, but this novel was a little baggy to be honest. Still enjoyed it, but the other books in the series are better. The Luminaries - Eleanor Catton...It's a mammoth book. You can see why it won the Man Booker this year, because it is a work of genius especially when you consider it's a debut novel by a 28 year old author. The book follows a series of events in New Zealand around the gold rush in the mid-19th century. There are lots of characters and it's not easy to keep track of them all, in fact the opening scene introduces you to 13 men whose stories and lives are examined in the next 800+ pages. By the end of the book, each character is real to you and has an individual personality. [MILD SPOILER ALERT] The spoiler concerns the structure and not the plot. My only criticism is that the book has two denouement. The main story comes to an end, and then the author summarises the story again from the point of view of the main protagonists. You carry on reading expecting to hear something new, but you just have the same facts presented, but this time from a different perspective. Still a great read. [/MILD SPOILER ALERT] The Brothers Karamazov, and Crime and Punishment - both by Fyodor Dostoyevsky...Two wonderful, wonderful novels, each with a real depth of insight into the human mind and the role of belief and spirituality. And if the writing is superb, then the translation from Russian is genius. Hard to believe they weren't written in English. The Hundred Year old man who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared - Jonas Jonasson...Lots of friends had told me that they were reading it, so I thought I better had. It's OK. It's fun, but it didn't change my life. A Wanted Man - Lee Child...More or the same - a big bloke, a big mystery and a single woman. By the end you're left with a big bloke, a solved mystery and a $hagged single woman. Still entertaining. I'm reading the Cuckoo's Calling at the moment, by Robert Galbraith (AKA J K Rowling). About half way through and it's very interesting to see Rowling writing a different genre (Police procedural). Difficult to reconcile the creator of Harry Potter putting the F and C words into her characters' mouths. Toke's a ****.

Did he narrate Mr. Benn? While Confessions was ****ing everything with oestrogen and a pulse in his university campus, I was sat at home in my paisley pyjamas, sucking my thumb and watching Mr. Benn. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't actually older than Confessions.

I'm calling social services, just in case.

Well you did. So what you going to do about it? Want a fight?

None taken.

Just overheard a great conversation. Woman A): I can't eat a cake today 'cause I'm on Weigh****chers. Woman B): I was going to say that you looked to have lost some weight, how's it going? Woman A): It's going well, I've lost loads. Woman B): Didn't you try Weigh****chers before? Woman A) Yeah, I did it about 15 years ago, but didn't lose much then because I love fruit too much. Woman B) Why did loving fruit mean you didn't lose weight? Woman A) Well, back then, fruit used to be 2 points for each item out of my 18 points per day. But now it's zero points so it's not as fattening. So I can eat as much as I like.

Au contraire BTT, I love stepping into the timewarp of Confessions' posts. It's like being allowed to stay up late on bath night to watch Man About The House.