saintbletch

Oh yes, I forgot that women can't read (except Bridge too far). How about Musical tastes Does she like Calexico? Can she play the penny whistle* ? *On first dates Whenever you post in TMS, Confessions, I hear loud and overly enthusiastic 70s sitcom music in my ears, and see garish wallpaper and flared trousers. SuperMikey, if you go to Costa's take my Coffee Club card, it's got thousands of points on it and this will impress your little cafe au lait. This is win-win for both of us. a) I will get the points for the transaction and b) make sure the server reads out the points total and says "Wow, I've never seen so many points before. You must be rich, successful and well-hung. It will show just how familiar you are with 'beans'. It's a winner. Don't thank me.

and... Literature What books does she like to read?

Bear's been overseas and has picked up a dose, apparently he always gets the clap after he's been in Tokyo.

I can't conceive of any valid reason to sledge someone with Downs.

Pedant. Let BTT have his w.ank.

Do you? Personally, I w.ank war. If you've never w.ank warred before, you're in for a real treat. The winner is the last man 'standing'. A warning though you'll likely end up with a potassium deficiency and blistered palms.

You can almost taste the wistful regret in your post there BTT. As I say, we've all got fetishes. Whatever melts your butter. Roll with it. Thanks for the advice though, I'll check it out as soon as I've learned to lambada.

I was asking if you concurred that Ron Manager is as mental as a chest freezer. Re February, what if you'd slept for a particularly long time during the month of February, then went into March totally refreshed and able to go the whole month without sleeping, and then on April 1st at 12:01am (whilst awake) you died. In which month would you have had the least sleep?

Favourite anagram from the name of the tennis player WAWRINKA ?

I don't shop in supermarkets - just look for 'suitable' people. And I don't use the bus, I've used a bus. Once.

*See what I mean, Toke? Graham felt uncomfortable and unloved in his own skin. On the odd occasions when he felt well enough to leave the prison that was his home, he would do so heavily disguised. Under cover of these elaborate, but amateurish disguises he would use this precious time to try to gain a surreptitious glimpse into the world of 'normal' relationships. Graham's favourite disguise was that of Captain of a small, private-hire fishing vessel called the Eleanor Rigby. *Comment, not caption.

Ironically Bear, I have exactly the opposite affliction to this poor man. I constantly roam supermarkets looking for suitable people, and then I stick my backside in their face hoping that they will sniff it. I even mostly make sure I've had a wash. Mostly. Well, we've all got fetishes.

Ab hominem: A debating style characterised by dismissing the position of the other side through irrelevant attacks on their stomach muscles.

No. Must try harder. Anita Cox. Thanks, that's kind of you to say so. Hermione Cox? Just the one, thanks. Paul Cox. Messy. Russell Cox? No, I do I quietly. Alec Cox. But I don't enjoy the taste. #salty #apparently You are not the first to make that observation BTT. I'm not sure you've understood all of the subtleties of the bee's role in pollination Bear, and I'm glad that you stopped short of posting that as there was no way that BTT would have swallowed your pansy spunk.

Well a day away from TMS and the bestest and most highest brow thread in message board history is confined to banality by alliterative Bob, bucktoothed Tim, spudulika, a buried teepee and a Japanese Bear. Well I was going to go for the obvious "one plunges his stinger into unwitting women that wear low cut tops during summer months, and the other is a bee", but I stopped short in the interests of this thread's credibility.

Too subtle?

Greg Blewett. Did he?

West Brom player shows covert support for Anelka by concealing a quenelle-saluting baby's arm in his shorts. Fonte, knowing when he has met his match, bows to pay respect with his own "I'm not worthy" tribute. Using the "any part of the body that can play the ball" rule, TV replays show that the West Brom player was indeed off side by a short head.

It was the first omnibus I'd been on for many a year Toke. I was out for Xmas beers in Southampton with a mate who lives on the route. Plus we'd had a bit too much to try to find a taxi. It wasn't like the old charabancs that took us to the coast in the old days. It was thoroughly modern and had "wide-fi" and everything. My only complaint concerned the look I received from the driver/conductor when I asked where the first class accommodation was. He told me that I could sit with the pushchairs if I wanted, which I did, but nobody came to serve drinks! Ah Deano6, you snooker refereeing, maths obsessive, you! Interesting that an evil maths genius and logician like you would attempt to think outside the "box", as it were. But I think I can assure you that this was not, as 'we Brits' adorably call it "bum licking" (as in kissing arse*). Although I can see from the facts that I've shared thus far how you might reach that conclusion. The lady in question was talking very guardedly about how "he" wanted to, "you know, do that thing". "He" was clearly the boyfriend, and "that thing" clearly wasn't him trying to ingratiate himself upon her (kissing her metaphorical arse). She was obviously trying to be surreptitious and communicate in an elaborate code, but she wasn't very good at it (lolly pops and add bum! FFS!). I was able to eavesdrop and hear it all as I was doing my best to play the role of the middle-aged man passed out in the pushchair rack, having fought and lost the battle of Staropramen. If I was a betting man, which I am Deano6, I'd wager that she was being asked to perform the act, rather than herself being asked to pretend to be her boyfriend's everlasting Milky Way Magic Star. I will however concede that I cannot be 100% certain that she was a she. It's even possible that he/she posed for some of Toke's art photos that he's sharing via PM. *Please note the correct spelling and correct pronunciation of this word.

Well there really is no jeopardy here. That isn't a threat. If I get it right, then I get a porn PM. If I get it wrong, then I get a porn PM. And as you don't know my sexual proclivity, you don't know which one I'm looking forward to most. So, I'll take a stab at the month when you die. Bring it on Toke. Bring it on.

Ah mystery solved 3B. I was out and about, and Tapatalk showed me what I took to be a new thread in TMS by Toke entitled "Prize - Very safe for work". I attempted to open it and Tapatalk crashed. I re-opend Tapatalk and looked for the thread and couldn't find it. I assumed that Toke had over-stepped the mark and the thread had been removed... ...and only now do I realise that it wasn't a thread, it was instead a PM. The new Tapatalk seems to show messages and threads you've participated in, in the same screen. Toke, how can I begin to thank you for the images that you chose to share with me? The lady with the native American Indian headdress (my reward for getting the riddle correct) was truly magnificent. Thank you. But the other two pictures (my punishment for getting the riddles incorrect) were less magnificent. The drug-addled lady tugging her own nipple to produce a sickeningly small and wasted triangle of breast (all of this on a public transport vehicle), was not to my taste. As for the other image, I've had to polish my Internet spectacles several times before finally reaching for my trusty magnifying glass to confirm that the two ladies on the bed also have penises. They appear to be simultaneously both ladies and boys. Is that congenital, or are they the biggest ****orises on earth? Poor things. I'm not sure what gave you the impression that I would appreciate such material, I guess it was just a lucky guess. Got to go, the coco is getting cold so I'll probably have to make him a cup of cocoa to warm him up.

Yes, I'd say so. But does it have sides? Perhaps not. A water tank? A sponge? Swiss cheese?

Two from the top and a cheeky one near the bottom please, Toke. A hose?

tpbury was right, this really is becoming Dad's word game corner. It's like Countdown without Rachel Riley. Tell Bear to take off that tight skirt will you Toke? It's not big and it's not clever. Plus I can see the outline of his ardour. I'd go for a shotgun?