saintbletch

Forgot to say that I also love reading pap versus Verbal. Both know how to wield a word to win and wound.

Really Pancake? Link? As I say, it was a moderately serious post. Hope he's Ok.

Well, lower bowel safely stowed, a pint of Aspall's on board and The Shins being played in the pub, and I've just started to feel myself again! A man and his bowel should not be seperated without the prior consultation and cooperation of a qualified surgeon. As a young man I never thought I'd see the day where men who wore a forbidden colour would speak freely in these many rooms of The Muppet Show. And then, when I see a kindred spirit, a fellow celebrator of June 16th talk of solipsism, not behind a surreptitious hand, but in the open, I realise that times have changed, and that my life is complete. I'm just waiting for the part of the story where GM sees his own reflection and falls in love.

You ain't lying papster. Joking aside, it's quite odd behaviour. Hope he's Ok. Would pay to see BTT and GM go toe to toe, over 13 rounds. Two behemoths of the board in a winner takes all prize.

I've answered my own question and that is that you end up with a prolapse and your lower bowel, in all its glistening glory, is stretched between Woking and Waterloo. Took me quite some time to put it back in. Apologies also for the grammar / spelling, but at the time I had other more important things on my mind.

You know who literally scares me literally to death? The thought of disobeying the instruction in the toilets on a South West Train. Do no flush while seated. What in the name of Christ would happen if you did? If I were a Bond villain, which I'm not, I would eschew the laser table and shark pools, and would instead take James for a trip to Waterloo.

I think can add the Villa game to the impressive opposition shot-to-goal ratio too.

I head it was mutual "Anatomist rub".

What about the incident with your Father-In-Law - when he was frantically forcing hope into your soul, inch by painful inch, in those shared bathing sessions?

I think this is probably the best place to discuss this; tucked out of the way in a place where nobody goes. Is anyone else concerned about Guided Missile's state of mind? He seems to be having some sort of train crash of a slow motion breakdown in installments here. I've always admired his posts in a begrudging, despite myself sort of way. You've got to be pretty self-confident to be happy to make everyone hate you. But I think something has changed. These posts seem to be more about attempting to justify himself whilst bemoaning his financial luck and blaming it one someone of colour - whilst making sure that we know he is a wealthy man and has enjoyed plenty of extra-marital sex. Someone should tell him that there's no catharsis in The Saints Web; only sarcasm. *Moderately sensible post.

Oh, Tokyo-Saint you really are a sick duck.

You've got the teacher's pet award 3B. FFS Dubai Philip...

Umm, yeah, you see, as a team we're not quite getting to the nub of the 'humour' here. And when we miss it, team, and I think I can speak for the team as a whole as well as for each and every one of you, when we miss the humour we can expect Cannon and Ball to come in here trolling it up. If I didn't know better notnowcato, I'd think you were trying to do this to derail the thread. BTW, did you know that "To Wanc Onto" is an anagram of notnowcato? Sort of describes what you just did to my thread, n'est-ce pas? Simple rules. (Oh how I know these are going to be turned around against me), As we all know, spontaneous humour is largely overrated, so what we need is a more contrived and choreographed approach. If the name contains something like a verb, an adjective or perhaps a possessive form, or even a contrived interpretation of those, then it might be possible to interpret the name as a statement or question for hilarious comic effect. Mike Hunt. Does he? No, doesn't work and is just not hilarious. Mike Hunt. What about it? Phil-Mike Hunt. Oh, OK, if you insist. And some examples from the Hall of Fame. Henrietta Knight. Did he? Cary Grant. He's too heavy. Now these are hilarious. If you can all master this, we'll move on to my hilarious "I am, you are" game, or the "Build a limerick by committee game"

At the end of that round Bletch, you scored 90% and no passes. Excellent link Fowllyd. Is Fowllyd an English word BTW? Oh, no. It's Welsh; isn't it. ;-) As an aside I once did a short course at Ghent University on "Writing for the web" - how writing for a web audience is different from other audiences. Their focus on language and the brain's processing of language is very impressive, but it's quite intimidating to be taught "English" by a foreigner! BTW did anyone/everyone get "W*NKER" as a word? I did. Is it the same list every time I wonder? Probably not. Also, I didn't get 100 words as I was promised. I was only shown 70 letter sequences, and identified 63 as English words, failed to identify 7 correct words, and didn't identify any incorrectly as English. Some real brain farts in the words I didn't recognise as my mother tongue. incuse livability readmit poufy gyps teem vena Odd what happens when you feel 'under pressure'. Readmit I read as READ MIT, and Teem - doh!

Dave Ramsbottom. Does he? Pat Ramsbottom. Oh, OK. Phil Ramsbottom. No, definitely not.

Ah **** it. You've ruined it now. You always spoil things. **** you.

I preferred it when you were in The Lounge.

Pat McHunt. Ok, if you insist.

You learn something every day. Didn't realise that you could get cookie monster t-shirts for chickens. What makes you think Goatboy is Ben Goddard, Toke?

He's dune. I think he knows we're on to him. Note the economy of words. No padding, no wasted words and he even abbreviated moustache (with an apostrophe that gave a little pulse of punctuation pleasure). It's the equivalent of a criminal wiping down a crime scene to remove fingerprints, or Bear bathing his victims to remove DNA.

(Don't read this Goatboy) Well, just like in the films where they need 47 seconds of mobile phone use to trace the number, we need to keep him talking. We need to get more evidence of his posting style to make a judgement so let's let him think he's part of the team whilst the guys back in the lab try to track him down. Someone ask him what he thinks of Cecil Rhodes, Gibraltar or liberals (small ell). (You can read now Goatboy)

Sorry Toke, I'd missed this. I see this thread as a scism ripping TMS asunder. On one side of the divide you have the erudite, intelligent, men-about-town of the People's Republic of Word Bores. On the other side is you and Bear, with your jeans halfway down your backside revealing the waste-band(sic) of your Calvin Coolidge's, baseball cap turned 180, walking like a couple of piano movers off a 70's PG Tips advert, talking like "you is black", pointing mock pistols held at 90 degrees from the vertical at the rest of TSW society, drinking energy drinks at 8am to try to regain the energy that you would have had if you'd not had the energy drink at 8am the day before, smoking dope like you invented it, nominating your 'friends' to become performing seals caught on YouPube drinking to excess to 'impress', and like some ****ed up pyramid-selling Ponzi scheme where nobody loses, they go on to invite three more brave souls to do the same. No! I didn't fight in wars for this! I want something better for our kids. I want a land where I am proud to throw beautiful words at the world and wonder as I see them caught, toyed with, and thrown back at me with just a little love sprinkled on them. I want this Island, this idyl, these atoms of communication to remain unsullied by your modern ways. So rather than spamming up my eponymous offering, **** off and post something muppety in the rest of TMS. Your ever loving Father. P.S. Good limericks though!

There's a special place in he'll for autocorrect.

Well, he's dune. I mean, he may or not be dune, but that is the standard TMS investigation starting position, so we should at least try to eliminate that hypothesis first. Either way, I like the cut of his gib*. As long as he doesn't categorise the majority of elite Lounge posters as Liberal (large ell), or spray latent racism over these fertile pastures like so much silage, then he stays. Evidence for the prosecution... Nobody uses the term 'permaban' in their first TMS post without having a) been a poster here before, or b) spent an inordinately long time lurking and learning TMS patois. He's precise, spelling out user names accurately. I like that. He's instantly up-to-speed with the vibe here. Perhaps he's just a mental in real life? Hmmm... Welcome Goatboy. Enjoy TMS! But we're keeping an eye on you (sorry, I'm not very good at 'threatening'). *back off and think tpbury.

Toke's sister was born in Sri Lanka, Her **** was as wide as a tanker, you could go for a swim, in the depths of her quim, and you needed a lamp post to vvank her.