saintbletch

And who gave him permission to have weekends off? Was that you? I thought I had to countersign the request? Must have missed the TMS memo. Anyway, I think Halo should explain his forum hiatus...

Well Toke, it's all to do with the Tapatalk API. As I'm sure you can imagine it's designed to minimise resource-expensive searching across a massive dataset. As a result, it only allows a certain amount of data to be readily searched. It's possible to get round this, but I don't want The Man's servers to grind to a halt. Anyway, this means that the Tapatalk API can cache the data that is most commonly used, and it won't have to hit the database every time somebody wants to suck the latest 50 posts down to their phone or tablet. The problem is that is... Toke's a ****. Anyway, here's The Bear. A lot of whitespace = w**king time. (That's working time BTW). How business is he these days?

Excellent question 3B, and I have to say you're showing great deal of faith in me for not assuming that I'm just randomly making this stuff up. The answer is, as I said below, it isn't very accurate at the moment. You should probably view it as an indication of short posts. i.e. a large dot means an average length and a smaller dot means less than average*. Technically, I'm only getting a sample of the first 200 letters of each post, so a big dot means 200 letters and a small dot means linearly less than that. *conceptually, not mathematically.

Closer than you think Halo. That was pap! It's OK, you're not missing out on much. There are no words, and no real point guessing with these either. Try opening the image in a new tab. Try saving the image to disk and opening it from there. All modern browsers I've tried can open and view an SVG image. I'll upload some more later and name and shame, just to see who is the saddest F5'er on TSW.

No your autism is turned up to 11, papster. It's bordering on savantism, if I'm a judge.

EDIT: This was pap. Not sure there is the scope to play the hilarious 'guess the poster' game that we all so enjoyed with the word clouds, but let's see how we go. I'm sure Rain Man pap will work it out somehow.

Assuming this is a genuine comment...it's an SVG image To Wanc Onto. This means it should scale automatically as you zoom in. Try opening the image in another window and zooming in. Not surprised you saw a mug though, was it a complete and utter one? Yes Toke, that's your sad posting frequency. Actually you're not as sad as some (or me for that matter)!

EDIT: This was Tokyo-Saint. I've actually got a really, really, really interesting development in my forum analysis to share with the world, Toke. Toke? Toke? Toke? Don't run away. This is fascinating. I've analysed how much time we each waste on here, or to put it another way, how much time we spend away from here. I've plotted each of the last (upto) 500 posts on a graph by day (x axis), hour of the day (y axis), length of post (radius or dot) and day of week (colour of dot). So, guess which complete saddo this is? Blue dots = weekday posts Yellow dots = weekend posts The larger the dot, the longer the post* *This is only a guideline at the moment and isn't very accurate for technical reasons.

Gobbles himself?

Peat Bogs. Does he?

Toke, do you mind if I ask you three questions? 1) Do you post on SaintWeb? 2) Did you qualify for the winter olympics? 3) Does your family insist that you walk ahead?

As a man of my word Toke, Bletch delivers: This is Mr. Sebuyama, and he is cold, ...but he has a jumper, ...and because he's Japanese, the only sensible thing to do to combat the cold weather is to turn yourself into a turkey... ...and you may ask, "But Bletch, doesn't that stop him enjoying a normal life?", and I'd answer no - as evidenced here: ...here ...and here I await my infraction for showing a flash of a Japanese man's nipple and pubic area.

Yep, you see. That's the youth of today, Toke. You say that we're up for infraction roulette on Monday, so what is required is a little bit of tantric titillation until then...two and a bit days of afore play, building to a muck-chucking crescendo on Monday. What does Spudders do? He instantly bends down and blows his nose in the curtains. Again.

See ya Spudders.

Yep, as long I can describe my pictures with words instead of degrading and exploiting women/dogs/Japanese boys by posting pictures. There'll be a lot of swear filter filth so I'm still running an infraction risk, not to mention the risk to my reputation.

Ok Toke. Here's one of my favourites.

What, you lament that you never got to **** Tony Benn with a multi-pronged hatstand, whilst wearing an Arthur Scargill mask and singing "There's power in a union"? I respected him because he seemed to believe what he said, and said what he seemed to believe. The biggest 'crime' he was guilty of IMO was simply naivety.

I'm only yanking your tail Toke. I don't live in London and so it doesn't impact me like it would you. But I was struck at how, like Marc Almond, you were eager to guzzle down the mendacious mucus dribbled down your throat by those that want you to sleep ill at night. Can I just ask you to reconsider your assertion that Bob Crow was "always out for a better deal". That may well have been his stated position, and an admirable "banner" it is for his members and passengers alike. But if that were really the case, if he were always militating against the regular running of the underground, it simply would never run, and he would always be at loggerheads with those that control the purse strings. In reality, occasionally you are caught in the crossfire between a Mayor and a Union. The Mayor is interested in easing the financial burden on Londoners, the union is interested in making the underground a better and safer place to travel and work. You've decided that your cash is more important than travelling on Boxing day. Fair enough.

Did Toke just get owned by Brash en Crazy? I'm sure it must be frustrating to live in our nation's capital and not be able to rely on low cost, reliable and safe transport. What you could do with is something like an elected Mayor who could listen to your concerns and represent your interests in a negotiation with the unions. This Mayor could then take your legitimate concerns into negotiations, make it clear how important this transport mechanism is to you and your fellow Londoners, and then immediately and unconditionally give in to the union's demands; thus ensuring you could always rely on the tube network. What you don't need is a Mayor that would hang you out to dry, and bring the capital to a standstill in an effort to bring about negotiating pressure on the unions by turning people against them. P.S. There is also no such thing as the bogeyman. x

Why does she use a red hula hoop every time she's being unfaithful? She's a talented woman though 3B, it's not easy to keep one of them spinning when you're in the middle of gay sex or playing footsie with your friend's partner. Probably. I mean - I'd imagine. **Cough**

The registration on that plane appears to be 9M-MRQ. I think the one that is missing is 9M-MRO. I assume they are different aircraft/flights.

I could have written the first part of this myself Special K, not the bit where you became a wannabe David Gold by exploiting and degrading women through the trade in **** mags, but the football boot anecdote. I saved up to buy a pair of Beckenbauer Stars (lime green stripe), to replace a pair of (probably) Woolworth's football boots. I say probably because I also remember having a pair of white plastic Woolworth's trainers with red stripes on them, so I might be confusing them. Anyway, the boots that the Beckenbauer Stars replaced had frayed laces, and one PE lesson some clever funster had removed the laces from my boots. As they were frayed they were all but impossible for this 9 year old to re-lace. So I asked a certain Mr Cecil Adams if he could lace them for me. He told me "not to be a baby", and to "do it myself". I think those were his words, it's not as if they are indelibly carved into my soul or anything. I sat there on the cold concrete, trying and failing to lace my boots for the rest of the lesson, sobbing and feeling sorry for myself as my classmates got to kick the ball. Still, my therapist says that I'm mostly over it now.

Toke's been got at. Suspicious. Someone's put the frighteners on him, or they've crossed his palm with silver, or more likely they've crossed his palm with goat gloy!

Toke knows, or says he does. And as he's so needy and "me, me, me!" when it comes to competitions, I expect him to come along and betray the cloven hoofed one and tell us all. You might have to tell him what the prize is first. Keep the Goat talking for about another 5 months and I'll have enough text evidence to nail him. All I know right now, is that his user name is an anagram of Gay Boot.

I hope for your sake that isn't a depiction of Muhammad, 3B. If it is, it's Fatwa o'clock.