Maggie May

Amusingly, THB would've been one of the players I'd shift if we were promoted. We needed much, much better than he produced the last time we were there. Our loyalty to a lot of the players from the Championship play off win is a big factor in why we went down so fast. We need to be ruthless.

I’ve heard his tightness at the back starts something called the Anel passage of play.

Gore blimey!

Insert Dynamo, Bazunu, vanishing trick joke here.

A real shame. We’ve missed out on the chance to use “the Kift that keeps on giving”.

The guy is the real deal. He impresses me more and more in each press conference. He’s calm and eloquent; each answer is considered and unflustered. The comparison between him and Will Still is night and day. Our best manager since Ralph by a mile.

Fans straight into the Tonda Eckert song. Great stuff.

No lie, I’ve just seen you can buy it in 6XL from the club shop. Surely that’s a tifo?

I like it. It’s going to be one of those shirts everyone will want in 20 years’ time.

We've got more chance of signing Dr Robotnik than Vipotnik.

This is great. I’m only a minute in and it’s revealed he’s recently become a dad. Finally, a smidgen of an insight into his life. Also, this guy out Lampards Lampard in the Lampardian jovial to stern stakes. The change in him at 28 seconds talking about understanding the service personnel to back to serious matters was exceptional. I really hope we have some good news from the FA investigation. I think he’s the real deal.

Interesting. Did you have to sign an NDA or the equivalent? What would’ve stopped you leaking your learnings to an upcoming opponent?

Scienza can go and I won’t lose sleep over it. I get being thrown out of the playoffs is disappointing but the arrogance shown suggesting we were already guaranteed a place in the Premier League is astounding. Hull may have beaten us. He was a part of the Will Still era that ultimately cost us in the long run. Would he still have moaned if we’d lost in the final?

I’m not an employment lawyer but could this be because the club could possibly dismiss him without compensation if he’s banned by the FA?

It should’ve been sponsored by Shakeaway if it’s inspired by the Bargate.