hutch Posted 17 October, 2009 Share Posted 17 October, 2009 (edited) The army of best supporters in the league have been told that, today, victory lies at a place called Oldham. Why Oldham? There are plenty of other hams to choose from. Take Newham for instance. Much nearer to home, and a nice day out in the big city. Or, apparently, there's a West Ham and an East Ham nearby. There is also a place there called Tottenham, but the local team from the area are sending their third team down to the South Coast with somebody called Saggychops to collect some free Premier League points. However, decent football fans have been strongly advised to avoid this area. The "Rogue Guide" describes the streets as being "... littered with torn-open, empty plain brown envelopes.", and the area is under close scrutiny by the Premier League fraud squad, who are looking for an explanation for the mystery of Tottenham's disappearing points. Apparently, Tottenham have only been picking up 2.7 points for each win this season. 10% of the points have been inexplicably disappearing, and the PLFS are searching for clues. Much closer to home, of course, there's Upham, or even Lower Upham, or there's a few Downhams if we wanted to head east. Or why not a nice day out in Wareham? But the powers that be have decreed that Oldham it is, so the best army of away supporters in the land have switched on their Tom Tom's and are on the road. Incidentally, I hope they've told the people from Oldham which one of the Hamptons are coming today. They'll be very disappointed if they're expecting Littlehamptons. COYR's Edited 17 October, 2009 by hutch Sp. & grammar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 17 October, 2009 Share Posted 17 October, 2009 What if you don't like ham? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruffo Posted 17 October, 2009 Share Posted 17 October, 2009 god i like your avatar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 17 October, 2009 Share Posted 17 October, 2009 Well, one thing is for sure, if it is really all about Ham, then Portsmouth are truly in trouble. No Ham Sandwiches or Pork Pies allowed in the Boardroom any longer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minsk Posted 17 October, 2009 Share Posted 17 October, 2009 I am hoping the LAMBert gets the goals at the oldHAM, maybe with AdHAM Lallana slicing them up. Of course it would also be great for TROTTERS to net against his OLDham club! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
70's Mike Posted 17 October, 2009 Share Posted 17 October, 2009 Ham was the Anglo Saxon word for homestead, i believe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minsk Posted 17 October, 2009 Share Posted 17 October, 2009 The HAM(mond) and the LAMB(bert) have us 2 in front so far! COYS!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qwertySFC Posted 17 October, 2009 Share Posted 17 October, 2009 Slam in the LAMB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastleighSoulBoy Posted 17 October, 2009 Share Posted 17 October, 2009 What if you don't like ham? What about spam? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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