I'm a dirty bear!

Hey dudes!

Does it count as a threesome if I go with two girls back to their hotel and bone them both?

Thing is tho while I was doing the first one the other bird was just sitting checking her email or whatever while she waited her turn. I'm worried it doesn't count as I was never doing them both at the same time?

If it's a Travellodge then No!

Also one of them was proper hot - I did her first - and the other one not so much. I was a bit put out to be honest when it was clear I was gonna have to bone the ugly one too, but what's a bear to do? One mustn't be rude.

Hey dudes!

 

Does it count as a threesome if I go with two girls back to their hotel and bone them both?

 

Thing is tho while I was doing the first one the other bird was just sitting checking her email or whatever while she waited her turn. I'm worried it doesn't count as I was never doing them both at the same time?

From memory a threesome is when all 3 are involved all of the time,mind you I haven't had one since 1985 so perhaps the rules have changed. 2 Belgian women in Majorca in case you're wondering,in the days when I was still a very naughty boy.

That's kind of what I thought Windows

It's a bit annoying they was all grinding up on each other in the club, but come hotel time it was like they was strangers queing up at the post office. I feel used.

Hope you checked their passports! They might remember you when they're short of cash - maybe coz they want to throw a big 16th birthday party!

Hey dudes!

 

Does it count as a threesome if I go with two girls back to their hotel and bone them both?

 

Thing is tho while I was doing the first one the other bird was just sitting checking her email or whatever while she waited her turn. I'm worried it doesn't count as I was never doing them both at the same time?

Difficult one. I think the second one was very rude in not getting involved. At the very least she sould have tickled your hairy taters or at least offered a bit of token sapphic action with her mate, even if it was restricted to a bit of tit play.

I think it is fair to say that it was a legit 3some. And well done you for going through with the second one, especially if she was an odrinary doris. It shows chivalry is far from dead in the modern thoughtful male (bear, or human, type thing).

Cheers bro! I'm getting differing feedback on this I think I need a poll from the mods "Has Bearsy had a threesome?" it's important as I don't want to be accused of false accounting like when I'm dead and Angel Gabriel says what did you do with your life my child? And I'll be like erm I had a threesome one time... and he'll be all "No way bro! That dont count ur going to hell for them lies!"

In other news, and by way of advice, if you have similar experiences dont post about it on ur facebook cos it turns out girls stalk out their conquests and for some reason get all angry when you refer to them as ugly!

Hey dudes!

 

Does it count as a threesome if I go with two girls back to their hotel and bone them both?

 

Thing is tho while I was doing the first one the other bird was just sitting checking her email or whatever while she waited her turn. I'm worried it doesn't count as I was never doing them both at the same time?

No, it's not a threesome.

Ha! You fail! Loooserrr!

No, it's not a threesome.

 

Ha! You fail! Loooserrr!

Just as I thought, sounds more like a serial ****.

I'd claim to have been gang banged, always looks good on a guy's resume.

Hmmm not sure i'm up for getting gang-banged to be honest windows, i've got enough problems with my bumhole as it is.

Does anyone know what other stuff I have to do before I can be considered a real man? I know threesome is on there obviously, and that I've got to do a black and an asian, and that I've got to do one old enough to be my mother and one young enough to be my daughter (I might have to wait a few years for that for legal reasons) but is there anything else I'm missing???

EDIT: By legal reasons I mean because she wouldn't be 16 yet I'm not on a register or nothing!

Hmmm not sure i'm up for getting gang-banged to be honest windows, i've got enough problems with my bumhole as it is.

 

Does anyone know what other stuff I have to do before I can be considered a real man? I know threesome is on there obviously, and that I've got to do a black and an asian, and that I've got to do one old enough to be my mother and one young enough to be my daughter (I might have to wait a few years for that for legal reasons) but is there anything else I'm missing???

 

EDIT: By legal reasons I mean because she wouldn't be 16 yet I'm not on a register or nothing!

From the Tonibell fred by you to Dog ....

Hi dog i see no-one had replied so i thought i'd come and sit with you for a few minutes, have a little chat. How are you? Yeah I'm good too. Do you like girls? Yeah I like girls too, well they're alright I guess but there's nothing like a bit of male comeraderie though is there dog? I like those trousers you're wearing, they're really tight round the crotch. They're pretty sweet! Do you like my pants? They're new. Look at them. You can almost see my knob can't you? Hold on, now look. What do you think? It's a nice one isn't it? I've had it all my life. You can touch it if you want hahaha I'm just joking. Unless you want to, i wouldn't mind. That's it. Nice. Okay, I've got to be going now. Catch up soon yeah?

Are you grooming Dog for a mixed 3 way? One to add to your list if you haven't done it already!!

Hmmm not sure i'm up for getting gang-banged to be honest windows, i've got enough problems with my bumhole as it is.

 

What? Have you never read Viz ? Now getting gang banged by the Fat Slags..that's something you wouldn't fancy t'is true.

Perhaps Viz no longer exists, perhaps young men no longer get taken advantage of by a couple or three randy girls at a party or rock festival.Life for young men no longer sounds much fun.

Here you go introduction to the Fat Slags.. WARNING, this probably won't be suitable for viewing at your place of employment

From the Tonibell fred by you to Dog ....

 

Hi dog i see no-one had replied so i thought i'd come and sit with you for a few minutes, have a little chat. How are you? Yeah I'm good too. Do you like girls? Yeah I like girls too, well they're alright I guess but there's nothing like a bit of male comeraderie though is there dog? I like those trousers you're wearing, they're really tight round the crotch. They're pretty sweet! Do you like my pants? They're new. Look at them. You can almost see my knob can't you? Hold on, now look. What do you think? It's a nice one isn't it? I've had it all my life. You can touch it if you want hahaha I'm just joking. Unless you want to, i wouldn't mind. That's it. Nice. Okay, I've got to be going now. Catch up soon yeah?

 

Are you grooming Dog for a mixed 3 way? One to add to your list if you haven't done it already!!

Oh sh!t could you see that? That was just sposed to be private between me and dog!

What? Have you never read Viz ? Now getting gang banged by the Fat Slags..that's something you wouldn't fancy t'is true.

Perhaps Viz no longer exists, perhaps young men no longer get taken advantage of by a couple or three randy girls at a party or rock festival.Life for young men no longer sounds much fun.

Oh i thought i was getting gang-banged by dudes? I thought u was just out of prison or something. So gang bang is just like a threesome with more than three? Or is the chicks strapping on? I feel confused!

Hmmm not sure i'm up for getting gang-banged to be honest windows, i've got enough problems with my bumhole as it is.

 

Does anyone know what other stuff I have to do before I can be considered a real man? I know threesome is on there obviously, and that I've got to do a black and an asian, and that I've got to do one old enough to be my mother and one young enough to be my daughter (I might have to wait a few years for that for legal reasons) but is there anything else I'm missing???

 

EDIT: By legal reasons I mean because she wouldn't be 16 yet I'm not on a register or nothing!

You aint a man, 'til you had a tan. (on your nob that is, just in case someone accuses me of being racist, like)

Oh i thought i was getting gang-banged by dudes? I thought u was just out of prison or something. So gang bang is just like a threesome with more than three? Or is the chicks strapping on? I feel confused!

Probably you're confused by the fact that you don't understand how a threesome works. You do the girls, the girls do each other,one of the girls helps you do the other and all variants of this.This was how it was with my Belgian ladies all those years ago.

Now if 2,3,4,5 or 6 ladies simply take turns with you and nothing else, that's like a gang bang which go both ways.

Hmmm not sure i'm up for getting gang-banged to be honest windows, i've got enough problems with my bumhole as it is.

 

Does anyone know what other stuff I have to do before I can be considered a real man? I know threesome is on there obviously, and that I've got to do a black and an asian, and that I've got to do one old enough to be my mother and one young enough to be my daughter (I might have to wait a few years for that for legal reasons) but is there anything else I'm missing???

 

EDIT: By legal reasons I mean because she wouldn't be 16 yet I'm not on a register or nothing!

I'm confused Bearsy. (no 'e')

I thought you told pap that you were, like, an actual bear, and stuff.

I'd always seen your treatment by the real men on here as some form of sentimental anthropomorphism, and now you want to be, like, an actual real man, and everything.

My advice is that if you want to give up the ursinism (is that a word?) and become a real man, you should stop sh*tting in the woods.

Hope this helps.

hi bletch! caught me out there trying to pass myself off as a real boy! i don't know what ursinism means nor to be honest couple of the other words ur using but ursinism particularly can you tell me what it means? or what it would mean if it was a real word? I'm just a simple bear but I'm willing to be educate!

So I'm thinking i'm quite into the hot one from my threesome/gang bang/serial f***. It come on a bit last night when she tore a strip of me on facebook for bragging and also for calling her mate ugly (although to be honest she's on shaky ground with that one, no court in the land would convict me if it got that far although i'm not saying it would). I always like it when a girls angry with me, freud would say i've got mummy issues but my top five best ever bones have all been with b!tches while they're furious with me for some dumb thing i done or whatever.

but i'm not sure it's happening, you know what girls are like, if i ask her out proper she'll be all thinking how the way we met and it's not a romantic story she can write in her dream diary and tell her grandkids and what not. i reckon that eliminates me as boyfriend material at least in so far as ursinism (is that the correct usage????)

Did any of you dudes meet ur wives or whatever in a gang bang?

Hey dudes!

 

Does it count as a threesome if I go with two girls back to their hotel and bone them both?

 

Thing is tho while I was doing the first one the other bird was just sitting checking her email or whatever while she waited her turn. I'm worried it doesn't count as I was never doing them both at the same time?

Strictly speaking, I wouldn't say that's a threesome. More accurately, you slept with two separate women in a short space of time.

I think they both need to be involved at the same time for it to be a threesome.

Strictly speaking, you can't 'do' both at the same time without being a genetic curiosity, so an element of time slicing is required.

(see below)

Also one of them was proper hot - I did her first - and the other one not so much. I was a bit put out to be honest when it was clear I was gonna have to bone the ugly one too, but what's a bear to do? One mustn't be rude.

And this is where you went wrong my friend. You should have had them both involved from the start. Doesn't matter that you've only got one wanger. There are other things you could have done (I believe there are plenty of educational videos on the Internet you can reference), and personally, I think making the less attractive one wait for slippery seconds was a bit out of order.

In that situation, you should have done your preferred one for a bit, and then whenever you're near the vinegar strokes, swap over to the one you aren't as attracted to until you're repulsed enough to have calmed down a bit. By alternating like this, both girls will be happy and you will emerge from your threesome looking like a sexual leviathan. Plus there's more chance of them getting it on too.

Bearsy Bearsy, Rule 1 ffs!

Cheers pap to be honest i was mostly waiting for your ruling! Obviously i'm disappointed but i really can't blame myself it was the attitude of the ugly bird what ruined my threesome, i got a hold of the fit one and wouldn't have objected if uggs had gotten involved but she took it upon herself to sit in the chair and start messing about on her phone-

wait a second! it just ocurred to me she might have been taking a sneaky video for future blackmail purposes incase i get eleceted prime minister or whatever! even if that ain't it, it's a bit weird don't you think just to be sitting there texting while we're boning, even if as it turned out she was waiting on a go she could've gone sat in the bathroom or something. If i werent so awesome it would've put me off my stroke!

Bearsy Bearsy, Rule 1 ffs!

This ^

Bearsy Bearsy, Rule 1 ffs!

jonny i've been reading some actual books that my dad give me, they're by this dude called p.g.wodehouse. They're proper funny but what i've mostly taken from them is the old school values and like Bertie Wooster i now consider myself a preux chevalier (i looked it up, it means gentle knight) and the code of the bearsy's prevents me from doing what you ask. i'm probably sailing a bit close to the wind spouting off anonymously on the internet.

That said, it's possible their maybe a video. Check youtube.

Cheers pap to be honest i was mostly waiting for your ruling! Obviously i'm disappointed but i really can't blame myself it was the attitude of the ugly bird what ruined my threesome, i got a hold of the fit one and wouldn't have objected if uggs had gotten involved but she took it upon herself to sit in the chair and start messing about on her phone-

 

wait a second! it just ocurred to me she might have been taking a sneaky video for future blackmail purposes incase i get eleceted prime minister or whatever! even if that ain't it, it's a bit weird don't you think just to be sitting there texting while we're boning, even if as it turned out she was waiting on a go she could've gone sat in the bathroom or something. If i werent so awesome it would've put me off my stroke!

No problem, and apologies for the delay in providing a swift judgmental response. I have had other demands on my time of late. It does sound as if there was something fishy about text girl.

As for the video, it's a possibility. You might even be on the Internet now. At this very moment, someone could be furiously masturbating using Bearsy's non-threesome sexual congress as inspiration. If you were going to try and find said video on the Internet, what search term would you use?

hmm i remember one bit she cried out "Mayonaise" or at least that's what it sounded like maybe you could search that? i remember thinking it was a weird thing to say and also getting a sudden craving for a sandwich. i shouted over to ugly "oi whilst ur not doing nothing order us up a bit of room service yeah?"

.

hi bletch! caught me out there trying to pass myself off as a real boy! i don't know what ursinism means nor to be honest couple of the other words ur using but ursinism particularly can you tell me what it means? or what it would mean if it was a real word? I'm just a simple bear but I'm willing to be educate!

 

So I'm thinking i'm quite into the hot one from my threesome/gang bang/serial f***. It come on a bit last night when she tore a strip of me on facebook for bragging and also for calling her mate ugly (although to be honest she's on shaky ground with that one, no court in the land would convict me if it got that far although i'm not saying it would). I always like it when a girls angry with me, freud would say i've got mummy issues but my top five best ever bones have all been with b!tches while they're furious with me for some dumb thing i done or whatever.

 

but i'm not sure it's happening, you know what girls are like, if i ask her out proper she'll be all thinking how the way we met and it's not a romantic story she can write in her dream diary and tell her grandkids and what not. i reckon that eliminates me as boyfriend material at least in so far as ursinism (is that the correct usage????)

 

Did any of you dudes meet ur wives or whatever in a gang bang?

I think ursinism means the life or practices of a bear, or at least that's what I meant it to mean, and stuff.

A threesome?

Hmm. I have to confess that I'm not an expert in n-somes. That said, I do have some experience where n=2 (and quite a bit when n=1 as a matter of fact) but not where n>=3.

So I could well be wrong, but what you've described owes more to tag-team wrestling than bear sex with two sexual partners at the same time. So for me you've had 2 x 2-somes and not 1 x 3-some.

Let's put it this way. Imagine you were "at it" in a WWF match with the two women. Let's say that you, on your own, were one 'team' and that the ladies were another team. Let's call them Tuna and Mayo - we've read below that one's 'fishy' and the other one calls out the name of an emulsified food spread when she reaches her 'crisis'. For completeness let's call your 'team' Bearsy.

So now let's imagine that we've got the best referee in WWF history. He's the only one not on the take and whilst others are making pantomime fools of themselves, he alone enforces the rules. He's highly officious and he prides himself that unlike his peers he's never been conned by the old tag-team double-partner trick. You know the one where both wrestlers are able to get at one of their opponents at the same time simply by telling the referee that his laces are undone or some such. Let's call this referee Bletch. And finally, let's imagine that your hotel room is the ring.

So now imagine that 'Bletch' is in your hotel room (the ring) watching 'Bearsy' getting it on with 'Tuna and Mayo'... .. .

Sorry, lost my train of thought then.

Well anyway it's Bletch's job to ensure that you aren't attacked by both Tuna AND Mayo at the same time. And from everything you've described I don't think 'Bletch', even though he is the most officious referee in the history of the WWF, would have to intervene or disqualify Tuna or Mayo.

There was no point in that evening where both Tuna and Mayo were in your ring.

So I think that's conclusive.

And if there is a video - it'll be pay-per-view. Try Googling 'Bearsy-slam'.

Probably you're confused by the fact that you don't understand how a threesome works. You do the girls, the girls do each other,one of the girls helps you do the other and all variants of this.This was how it was with my Belgian ladies all those years ago.

Now if 2,3,4,5 or 6 ladies simply take turns with you and nothing else, that's like a gang bang which go both ways.

Steamy ****ing windows!

hi bletch! caught me out there trying to pass myself off as a real boy! i don't know what ursinism means nor to be honest couple of the other words ur using but ursinism particularly can you tell me what it means? or what it would mean if it was a real word? I'm just a simple bear but I'm willing to be educate!

 

So I'm thinking i'm quite into the hot one from my threesome/gang bang/serial f***. It come on a bit last night when she tore a strip of me on facebook for bragging and also for calling her mate ugly (although to be honest she's on shaky ground with that one, no court in the land would convict me if it got that far although i'm not saying it would). I always like it when a girls angry with me, freud would say i've got mummy issues but my top five best ever bones have all been with b!tches while they're furious with me for some dumb thing i done or whatever.

 

but i'm not sure it's happening, you know what girls are like, if i ask her out proper she'll be all thinking how the way we met and it's not a romantic story she can write in her dream diary and tell her grandkids and what not. i reckon that eliminates me as boyfriend material at least in so far as ursinism (is that the correct usage????)

 

Did any of you dudes meet ur wives or whatever in a gang bang?

Not personally, but i heard of a story (which i guess is an urban myth) about a lad who was at a party once where there was a girl taking on all the boys. Bent over doggy styleee she was. Anyways, said lad was awaiting his turn and whilst he was hanging out the back of the lass, realised it was his sister (who he didn't know was at the party). As I say, it's probably a myth, but a fun story to tell alongside your 3some story.

I don't agree with pap as it happens. I don't think you were out of order making the 2nd one wait and indeed doing so could be defined as a challenge, a test of mental and physical strength; gearing yourself up for an immediate round of seconds with an ugly bird so soon after firing your lean mix up a decent bit of clout is not an act that can be easily ignored. For that, you deserve to give yourself a big bear paw on the back.

Incidentally, did the ugly one "try" harder when you got around to giving her one? It's often said that ugly ones do try harder and from my experience years back, i banged a couple of real Doris Karloff's - a real house of horrors they were. One was average, but one was a right old dirty bag of carrots. Nothing was too much trouble for old K. Welsh bird she was, cracking ****.

I think ursinism means the life or practices of a bear, or at least that's what I meant it to mean, and stuff.

 

Hmm. I have to confess that I'm not an expert in n-somes. That said, I do have some experience where n=2 (and quite a bit when n=1 as a matter of fact) but not where n>=3.

 

So I could well be wrong, but what you've described owes more to tag-team wrestling than bear sex with two sexual partners at the same time. So for me you've had 2 x 2-somes and not 1 x 3-some.

 

I'm interested in the math angle you've introduced bletch but i think the formula needs some work!

I don't remember much algebra from bear school but as i see it ur proposing:

Sexual Achievement = p x n

Where p = number of girls penetrated and n = number of simultaneuous participants.

Under this scoring I get a 4 (p=2, n=2, SA=4) whereas Windows with his Belgian 3some got a 6 (p=2,n=3, SA=6) but I think Windows deserves more credit than that!

Therefore I would propose:

SA = (p x n²)-2d

Where d = other dudes involved

Under this I scored 8, but that player stud Windows got 18! (unless he had any dudes involved, he didn't mention it but you wouldn't would you?). Can anyone beat Windows score????

Also can someone with math skills try and factor in the girls relative hotness because that's got to be a contributing factor???

Not personally, but i heard of a story (which i guess is an urban myth) about a lad who was at a party once where there was a girl taking on all the boys. Bent over doggy styleee she was. Anyways, said lad was awaiting his turn and whilst he was hanging out the back of the lass, realised it was his sister (who he didn't know was at the party). As I say, it's probably a myth, but a fun story to tell alongside your 3some story.

 

I don't agree with pap as it happens. I don't think you were out of order making the 2nd one wait and indeed doing so could be defined as a challenge, a test of mental and physical strength; gearing yourself up for an immediate round of seconds with an ugly bird so soon after firing your lean mix up a decent bit of clout is not an act that can be easily ignored. For that, you deserve to give yourself a big bear paw on the back.

 

Incidentally, did the ugly one "try" harder when you got around to giving her one? It's often said that ugly ones do try harder and from my experience years back, i banged a couple of real Doris Karloff's - a real house of horrors they were. One was average, but one was a right old dirty bag of carrots. Nothing was too much trouble for old K. Welsh bird she was, cracking ****.

I think that is a myth, surely he would recognise his sisters clacker.

Don't say that Dog, I've got a feeling Special K was the brother in question, all that "not me personally" and "probably just a myth" didn't quite ring true!

SA = (p x n²)-2d

Hmmm I just calculated that I got nothing when a girl tugged me off, that can't be right can it?

Also getting tugged off by a dude scores -2. So I guess I won't bother with that then!

I think that is a myth, surely he would recognise his sisters clacker.

You'd think so, eh? But it's not me I'm glad to say.

 

 

 

Under this I scored 8, but that player stud Windows got 18! (unless he had any dudes involved, he didn't mention it but you wouldn't would you?). Can anyone beat Windows score????

 

Also can someone with math skills try and factor in the girls relative hotness because that's got to be a contributing factor???

Nope just me and the 2 Belgian ladies,got to give me some extra points because they were pretty smoking hot (but then again so

was I at that time).Maybe a small deduction because I was actually sort of dating one of them though and they knew each other from Uni.

I think ursinism means the life or practices of a bear, or at least that's what I meant it to mean, and stuff.

 

A threesome?

 

Hmm. I have to confess that I'm not an expert in n-somes. That said, I do have some experience where n=2 (and quite a bit when n=1 as a matter of fact) but not where n>=3.

 

So I could well be wrong, but what you've described owes more to tag-team wrestling than bear sex with two sexual partners at the same time. So for me you've had 2 x 2-somes and not 1 x 3-some.

 

Let's put it this way. Imagine you were "at it" in a WWF match with the two women. Let's say that you, on your own, were one 'team' and that the ladies were another team. Let's call them Tuna and Mayo - we've read below that one's 'fishy' and the other one calls out the name of an emulsified food spread when she reaches her 'crisis'. For completeness let's call your 'team' Bearsy.

 

So now let's imagine that we've got the best referee in WWF history. He's the only one not on the take and whilst others are making pantomime fools of themselves, he alone enforces the rules. He's highly officious and he prides himself that unlike his peers he's never been conned by the old tag-team double-partner trick. You know the one where both wrestlers are able to get at one of their opponents at the same time simply by telling the referee that his laces are undone or some such. Let's call this referee Bletch. And finally, let's imagine that your hotel room is the ring.

 

So now imagine that 'Bletch' is in your hotel room (the ring) watching 'Bearsy' getting it on with 'Tuna and Mayo'... .. .

 

Sorry, lost my train of thought then.

 

Well anyway it's Bletch's job to ensure that you aren't attacked by both Tuna AND Mayo at the same time. And from everything you've described I don't think 'Bletch', even though he is the most officious referee in the history of the WWF, would have to intervene or disqualify Tuna or Mayo.

 

There was no point in that evening where both Tuna and Mayo were in your ring.

 

So I think that's conclusive.

 

And if there is a video - it'll be pay-per-view. Try Googling 'Bearsy-slam'.

There you go, proven with a mixture of science and wrestling!

Defo not a threesome, Bearsy.

Nice one, referee Bletch.

I don't agree with pap as it happens. I don't think you were out of order making the 2nd one wait and indeed doing so could be defined as a challenge, a test of mental and physical strength; gearing yourself up for an immediate round of seconds with an ugly bird so soon after firing your lean mix up a decent bit of clout is not an act that can be easily ignored. For that, you deserve to give yourself a big bear paw on the back.

Bearsy, don't listen to Special K. He's talking nonsense. He should stick to being an aspirational breakfast cereal for dieters.

His plan sounds good in theory, but the outcome is most likely to be you trying to wedge your limp and uninterested member into a dry clam. You'll be humiliated, and you'll be known as the "little bear who couldn't".

Even the fit one will think you're a loser if you fail (and let's face it, the motivation is not there).

Your best bet to emerge from the threesome with credit is to poke while the iron is hard. Special K probably tried his plan once himself, probably ending up having to move towns or something.

Incidentally, did the ugly one "try" harder when you got around to giving her one? It's often said that ugly ones do try harder and from my experience years back, i banged a couple of real Doris Karloff's - a real house of horrors they were. One was average, but one was a right old dirty bag of carrots. Nothing was too much trouble for old K. Welsh bird she was, cracking ****.

From my experience, it's the complete opposite. In fact, the dirtiest girl I ever went with happened to be one of the best looking. I think it's got something to do with their confidence levels. "Hey, I've got this super amazing hot body and I know how to use it".

Of course, there are probably hot girls who think they're hot enough to just "plank" while doing the deed, but that is a criminal waste of resources, in my opinion.

I had a foursome once - Me, lil' Jonny, my right hand, and I brought the left hand into play too.

SA = -3?

I'm interested in the math angle you've introduced bletch but i think the formula needs some work!

 

I don't remember much algebra from bear school but as i see it ur proposing:

 

Sexual Achievement = p x n

Where p = number of girls penetrated and n = number of simultaneuous participants.

 

Under this scoring I get a 4 (p=2, n=2, SA=4) whereas Windows with his Belgian 3some got a 6 (p=2,n=3, SA=6) but I think Windows deserves more credit than that!

 

Therefore I would propose:

 

SA = (p x n²)-2d

Where d = other dudes involved

 

Under this I scored 8, but that player stud Windows got 18! (unless he had any dudes involved, he didn't mention it but you wouldn't would you?). Can anyone beat Windows score????

 

Also can someone with math skills try and factor in the girls relative hotness because that's got to be a contributing factor???

It's a start Bearsy, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but that's such a naive equation. Even if you do manage to build in the relative 'hotness' of the participants, it's still nowhere near accurately describing the Sexual Achievement

It's not just about counting the males and females - penetrated or otherwise. There are so many other variables you need to consider to compute Sexual Achievement.

I'll start you off with some of the variables. But as maths isn't my thing, I'll leave it to you to add it to your existing equation.

( (MRDROOPY - VIAGRA) x (1 + (2.37 x ITSRAPE) ) / ( 1 + POPPERS ) / ( 1 + KY ) ) * ORGASMOROSCAR

MRDROOPY = Flaccidity percentage - The amount of time (as a percentage) of the entire sexual encounter when then penis is sans-sang. 0% MRDROOPY is desirable.

VIAGRA = Blue Wood index - The amount of time (as a percentage) over the encounter when penis engorgement was was reliant on the blue pill. If you've 'got wood' solely due to the effects of the blue pill, then this should lower the SA.

ITSRAPE = Rohypnol index - The amount in milligrams of Rohypnol required to get any of the participants 'in the mood'

POPPERS = Amyl Nitrite index - The number of different nitrites inhaled to relax front or back sphincters. Any inhalant used should reduce SA

KY = Lubricant index - The amount of lubricant in imperial gallons required to ensure friction does not result in fire. Natural lubrication should result in a higher SA.

ORGASMOROSCAR = Meg Ryan factor (also know as When Bearsy met Mayo) - The ratio of communicated enjoyment to the actual physiological climax. If during coitus, you wonder whether the love-recipient is in fact an award winning thespian, then this should reduce SA.

What was your score for the night with Tuna and Mayo? A word to the wise, if ITSRAPE is non-zero, keep the result to yourself.

B-but Beltch that t-took me aaaages to come up with that formula! Can't argue with ur fixes tho really some of them are really funny i like the idea of a ITSRAPE index cos dudes like taxi drivers who always roofie their conquests shouldnt get such high scores as studs me and windows who have to rely purely on our inate hotness!

So anyway turns out one of my mortal enemies posts on here, i don't know what username he uses but im gonna find out! anyways apparently he noes one of the girls in question and has told her bout this thread! How out of order is that! As I see it he has messed with some of the most basic laws of male comaraderie!

a) Bros b4 hoes!

b) Dont hate the player hate the game!

c) What happens in (hotel) stays in (hotel)!

I'm so MADDDDD! Do you think the mods would ban him if i told them his Real Name? It ain't u is it?

Hahaha just seen i called you beltch! Genuine typo honestttt!!!!

In fact, the dirtiest girl I ever went with happened to be one of the best looking. I think it's got something to do with their confidence levels. "Hey, I've got this super amazing hot body and I know how to use it".

Hi pap! I couldn't get her number please could I?

I had a foursome once - Me, lil' Jonny, my right hand, and I brought the left hand into play too.

 

SA = -3?

Hahaha is Little Jonny ur son? You one sick puppy!

So anyway turns out one of my mortal enemies posts on here, i don't know what username he uses but im gonna find out! anyways apparently he noes one of the girls in question and has told her bout this thread!

Lolz, i'm more interested to hear what this girl has said!

I'm sure you have been given an ear full from her if she has read this thread? But yeah, bit douche from the bloke who has told her about this, I would hazard a guess he wants to nail her and maybe jealous of your recent feat. It is not as if you have named her or anything? I am also bemused to how he knows you are Bearsy though?! Is it simply that he has been reading this and seen your Facebook brags about it and put 2 and 2 together?

 

So anyway turns out one of my mortal enemies posts on here, i don't know what username he uses but im gonna find out! anyways apparently he noes one of the girls in question and has told her bout this thread! How out of order is that! As I see it he has messed with some of the most basic laws of male comaraderie!

Well if they're looking for a real 3 way get them to PM me up then .

Lolz, i'm more interested to hear what this girl has said!

 

I'm sure you have been given an ear full from her if she has read this thread? But yeah, bit douche from the bloke who has told her about this, I would hazard a guess he wants to nail her and maybe jealous of your recent feat. It is not as if you have named her or anything? I am also bemused to how he knows you are Bearsy though?! Is it simply that he has been reading this and seen your Facebook brags about it and put 2 and 2 together?

Loool she was quite funny about it actually, i spose she can afford to be as i've done nothing but compliment her on here really - its her mate whats p1ssed off hahahaha!

He's definitely been stalking her on Facebook, and me for that matter, i put it to her that he's only causing trouble cos he wants to bone one or both of us and can officially confirm that she ain't interested - suck on that rob you ****!!!

I can be quite charming when i put my mind to it and i've managed to talk her into coming out with me next week - i told her if shes got any better looking mates she's welcome to bring one along hahahaha

oh and my real name is bearsy unfortunately, or at least that's my real life nickname. it was probably a bit stupid to post under it - also not to have my facebook ****ing private!

oh yeah and she completely denies the "Mayonnaise" thing hahaha!